What haunted my Mormon girl nightmares? The Martin and Willie handcart tragedy. And here’s the thing: the version I was taught growing up wasn’t even as bad as the reality. In this episode, we’ll recap what really happened on that deadly trek, share some of the most harrowing and human anecdotes, and yes, do some much-deserved shit talking of Brigham Young. But more than that, I’ll dig into why this story still matters to me as a former Mormon—and how it continues to shape the way I understand both the faith of my upbringing and my identity as a descendant of pioneers.

If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started: https://learn.nocd.com/girlscamp

Devil's Gate book

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My trip to Sweden for a wedding has given me much to talk and testify about. After a recap of the week (including a couple serious travel mishaps), I dive into what it was like to leave the kids, the magic of non-Mormon weddings, and alcohol as a social lubricant. I share what it feels like to be the only ex-Mormon at the function, the joy of connecting with brand-new friends, and my very first real clubbing (and drunk 🍷) experience.

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Codependent? No more! As I’ve been learning about my own codependent tendencies, I’ve started noticing all the ways they show up in the culture and doctrine of high-demand religions. In this episode, we’ll cover Codependency 101, I’ll share my journey of recognizing those patterns in family, friendships, and marriage—and how I’m working to shift them. Then we’ll dive into how Mormonism (and other high-demand religions) can supercharge those dynamics. LFG!

Melody Beattie’s “Codependent No More”

Dr. Julie Hanks on patriarchal cultures and enmeshment

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'Tis the season for family reunions! Before jumping into your reunion tales (spoiler: one includes polygamy cosplay), I share a few unfortunate events from my own back-to-back reunions in July. Plus, we unpack a surprising listener revelation: are family reunions kinda Mormon-coded? Pack your lawn chairs and emotional baggage—let’s get into it. 

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This week we’re getting cozy and cracking open the bedroom door. I’m answering your sex questions, reading your spicy (and sweet) thoughts and reflections, and sharing a few intimate observations from my own sex life. It’s part advice column, part group chat, part “I can’t believe I just said that out loud.”

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After a much-needed July break, I’m catching you up on everything—from the real (and sometimes complicated) privilege of being a content creator, to the weird backlash I got for taking time off, to the chaos living in my notes app all month. We’re talking Mormonism and American exceptionalism, why eating contests should be illegal, learning to trust your intuition, and one of my new all-time favorite books. It’s a little bit of everything—because that’s what this podcast is, and honestly? That’s what I missed most.

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In honor of Pioneer Day, we’re digging into what it really meant to be a pioneer woman—think managing periods and sex on the plains. I also take you on a deep dive into the lives of two prominent women: Jane Elizabeth Manning James and Mary Fielding Smith. Their stories are fascinating, complicated, and, weirdly, involve a lot of oxen. We’ll also unpack the emotional gymnastics that come with having pioneer ancestry—and how, ex-Mormon or not, we all have to reckon with the Mormon origin story. Plus, I wrap up with a little life update: how my July break went and a peek into a recent brand trip I got to take.

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This episode first aired back in March 2024, and y’all loved it. So I’m bringing it back for a little Girlscamp Rewind. Whether it’s your first time or a repeat listen, I hope you enjoy! 

Gather 'round the fire for some wild stories from Mormon girl's camp. These tales include traumatizing object lessons, "snipe hunting" and getting secretly stoned under the stars. And I even sing my favorite girl's camp song!

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This episode first aired back in April 2023, and y’all loved it. So I’m bringing it back for a little Girlscamp Rewind. Whether it’s your first time or a repeat listen, I hope you enjoy! 

The ethereal Rachel Brockbank (artist and native name Tishmal) graces Girlscamp today with her post-Mormon story. She shares of her struggles with the church while in it, how love led her out of it and how her music is a diary of all the emotion along the way. She also speaks to her Native heritage and how that informs her spiritual journey both then and now. I was hanging on to her every word! I know you will be too. 

Rachel Brockbank on Instagram

“On My Way Up” song

Rick Rubin's “The Creative Act”

Steve Hassan “Combatting Cult Mind Control”

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Another day, another drama in the Mormon vs. ex-Mormon internet universe! A (self-proclaimed) LDS apologist podcaster made a response video to me after I called out the church for paying influencers to bear testimony of the Book of Mormon — and it gave us plenty to unpack. I’m diving into classic ex-Mormon stereotypes, the Church’s evolving digital marketing game, and what it might be like trying to stay devout online. Plus, a few thoughts on the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives reunion to round it all out.

You can listen to the rest of the episode on the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon here.

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