Bert and Ernie's Inner Sanctum

"Execute Episode Sixty-Six"

- Emperor Palpalagamaloo

Where your ass was at Bert when E-Bong wouldn't feed me?Where your ass was at Bert, when E-Bong didn't need me?Where your ass was at Bert, when E-Bong tried to run off?Where your ass was at Bert? You made me pull this gun out

Where your ass was at, Bert, you went and switched sides?Where your ass was at, Bert, when E-Bong spread lies on him?Where your ass was at, Bert, when the bodies came sliding?Where your ass was at, Bert, when I was serving piles?

"Long story short, a bear ripped my cock off and ate it.

- Sam L."

- Dr. El Camino

SPORTS

-H.Lewis

"Aye, I'm Footballin' Here!

It's either Salami on the grill or Origami on the hill you decide!

Nah jk brah we talkin for an hour and then talk again for an hour but y'all wont hear that for a few days."

- Lawrence Washington

The seduction of sadness is obsolete on the face of never ending horniess, we bring you 4 of the 5 horniest. The sanctanarian seas set sail tonight. This is a pre 9/11 pod so we are preparing to remember. Bless up

-Gordy

If the wind blows your hair, blow the wind back.

If the girl of your dreams tells you that you've lost your mind buying up the store's stock of limited edition knockoff Pokémon cards, tell her to kick rocks and find another store and buy their stock too.

Moral of the story: never give in to someone else's intuition without a backup plan.

- Paulie

This was a sentient podcast session where Ernie and Bert wrestled invisible audio spaghetti while inventing negative three words for "two steps" in their "Words Without Words Without Words" segment. They aggressively alphabetized every fishing movie that hasn't been invented yet, discussed their critically urgent plans to golf with grills and grill with golf clubs, and successfully drowned in time constraints that moved backwards while the podcast recorded itself into a different dimension.

-Roger

Bert and Ernie had Rick on the pod. They chatted about fantasy football, movies, some local characters, and how the podcast is struggling financially. Rick talked about a recent controversy where he used inappropriate language and how he's working on bouncing back. The guys invited him to hang out at future events.

-Rog

Bert makes some phone calls to some local chums on his daily expeditions.