There's no other way to say it: This week, your hosts shed all pretense and artifice, calmly throttling the life out of our cooler, younger selves as we make a dispassionate defense of the categorical imperative to maximize one's cribbage score against one's girlfriend. Seven years post-Gangnam Style, we here at Instead Of are of an age where being on a CSI show seems cool, and we're thriving. Tapan knows all the best pills to take, Mike's working on his dead will, and Josh plays every game like it might be his last, nice and friendly-like.

Pairings: a next-rainbow-up mentality; clarity, finally; a pit rake PR machine