Better.

Emily vividly remembers the day she got the news. Unfortunately, she

hadn’t made the volleyball team that year. While something like this

might crush the average 13-year-old, Emily was able to shrug this off

like it was nothing. Mostly because when she got home that day, she

learned that her younger brother, Jack, had cancer…

Today is the

first half of a very important conversation with Emily, whose family

took a journey to hell and back that they never asked for, and handled

it with some of the greatest strength and poise I have ever heard of.

Perhaps most importantly, I’m blown away by the person Emily has become

as a result of her circumstances. Her heart, her humor, and her humility

is the stuff of sages...

Highlights of this episode include:

-What it was like to get the news about her brother Jack

-Her parents’ disposition that life was going to move on anyway throughout Jack’s illness

-How cancer allowed her to create a very special bond with her brother that wouldn’t have been possible otherwise

-How she gracefully, and humorously handles ‘pity’ from others

Laura is back for Part 2 today to share the rest of her story.  Where we last left off, Laura

had just packed her bags and shipped off to Germany in the wake of her

brother’s suicide.  I don’t want to spoil too many details here, but the

conclusion of Laura’s story is a true testament

to how to the struggles you endure really do shape who you are for the

better, and allow to give back a great deal to this world.

Highlights of this episode include:

-The “scripts” that we carry around about ourselves, and how they influence who we are...

-The effect that becoming a college professor had on her, despite never really believing she was smart

-The seemingly small incident that finally helped her feel “at home” in her career…

-How she made the incredible leap from college professor to therapist

-How all the difficult things she went through in her life informed the work she does today

-The best way to explain addiction-related issues to children

-And even a little Springsteen banter!

My guest today is Laura, a great friend and highly-valued

colleague and, you will find, a wildly eloquent badass. Today, Laura is kind

enough to share her triumphant life story of overcoming enormous obstacles over

decades, including alcoholism, tragic loss, and low familial expectations. All

along the way, you can sense Laura’s unwavering steely strength, and deep faith

in her ability to not only survive, but to overcome and leverage her experience

to help and guide others. Laura shares her story here with generosity, warmth

and humor. One can only imagine that her friends, family and clients benefit

enormously from the richness of Laura’s story.

Big announcement today, everybody. We are changing the name of the podcast to "Undue Anxiety" for a number of reasons, which I explain in this quick announcement. Lots of exciting, new and improved things to come!

Lately, I’ve had a wave of mothers and daughters in the therapy room that have been having some knock-down, drag out verbal brawls right before my very eyes.  And as I’m witnessing these all-out battles, one word comes to mind - AWESOME! That’s right… awesome! Today’s short podcast is about how it’s just okay to emote; to scream at your loved ones; to hash out your issues as a way to work toward resolving them.  You’d be surprised about the amount of anxiety that this simple tactic can relieve!

Lately, I’ve had a wave of mothers and daughters in the therapy room that have been having some knock-down, drag out verbal brawls right before my very eyes.  And as I’m witnessing these all-out battles, one word comes to mind - AWESOME! That’s right… awesome! Today’s short podcast is about how it’s just okay to emote; to scream at your loved ones; to hash out your issues as a way to work toward resolving them.  You’d be surprised about the amount of anxiety that this simple tactic can relieve!

Today’s guest, Samantha, describes the post-college job search as a period of “Free Fall,” in which there is lots of uncertainty, instability, and rejection to be encountered along the path to building a meaningful career.  And riding the coattails of those three things, of course, is anxiety. Anxiety about immediately being able to support yourself and pay back student debts. Anxiety about comparing yourself to others. Anxiety about your family wondering what how come you haven’t found a job already. But the truth is that today’s job market for college grads has changed quite a bit since the last generation, and getting caught in any of the above mindsets isn’t productive or helpful. Luckily, Samantha is able to report from the trenches here with some valuable words of wisdom for navigating this period.

Highlights of this episode include:

-How today’s entry level job market for college grads isn’t the same as earlier generations

-Is there shame around not having all "the answers" at 22?

-How her struggles has inspired her really work on the art of self-acceptance, and maintaining self-worth through transitional periods

-Why you shouldn’t beat yourself up with what you “should’ve done” on missed opportunities, etc.

-Appropriate self criticism - what is helpful and useful vs. excessive and hurtful?

-How to cope when nothing is really panning out career wise

-How “transitional jobs” can assist with personal growth and finding your path

Today’s guest, Samantha, describes the post-college job search as a period of “Free Fall,” in which there is lots of uncertainty, instability, and rejection to be encountered along the path to building a meaningful career.  And riding the coattails of those three things, of course, is anxiety. Anxiety about immediately being able to support yourself and pay back student debts. Anxiety about comparing yourself to others. Anxiety about your family wondering what how come you haven’t found a job already. But the truth is that today’s job market for college grads has changed quite a bit since the last generation, and getting caught in any of the above mindsets isn’t productive or helpful. Luckily, Samantha is able to report from the trenches here with some valuable words of wisdom for navigating this period.

Highlights of this episode include:

-How today’s entry level job market for college grads isn’t the same as earlier generations

-Is there shame around not having all "the answers" at 22?

-How her struggles has inspired her really work on the art of self-acceptance, and maintaining self-worth through transitional periods

-Why you shouldn’t beat yourself up with what you “should’ve done” on missed opportunities, etc.

-Appropriate self criticism - what is helpful and useful vs. excessive and hurtful?

-How to cope when nothing is really panning out career wise

-How “transitional jobs” can assist with personal growth and finding your path

Today’s guest is Matthew, who in 8th grade, was diagnosed with something called “school refusal”. But what exactly is school refusal? Is it an actual condition in and of itself exhibited by a defiant child, or is it merely a symptom of some larger anxiety issues brewing beneath the surface? Matthew’s story is a prime example of the ways anxiety is misunderstood, even among doctors, teachers, parents, and even the people who are going through it themselves.

Highlights:

-Why he suddenly didn’t want to go to school anymore in 8th grade

-The sneakiness of anxiety; how it can create real physical symptoms of illness

-How his issues continues to affect him throughout high school

-How he saw 9 different mental health professionals, and even had the cops called to his house once for his anxiety

-How he finally began to understand what anxiety was

-His advice for parents trying to help a child through anxiety of school refusal issues

-What ultimately happened when he decided to finish high school online

-His outlook for the future: Does he always see anxiety as being a part of his life?

Today’s guest is Matthew, who in 8th grade, was diagnosed with something called “school refusal”. But what exactly is school refusal? Is it an actual condition in and of itself exhibited by a defiant child, or is it merely a symptom of some larger anxiety issues brewing beneath the surface? Matthew’s story is a prime example of the ways anxiety is misunderstood, even among doctors, teachers, parents, and even the people who are going through it themselves.

Highlights:

-Why he suddenly didn’t want to go to school anymore in 8th grade

-The sneakiness of anxiety; how it can create real physical symptoms of illness

-How his issues continues to affect him throughout high school

-How he saw 9 different mental health professionals, and even had the cops called to his house once for his anxiety

-How he finally began to understand what anxiety was

-His advice for parents trying to help a child through anxiety of school refusal issues

-What ultimately happened when he decided to finish high school online

-His outlook for the future: Does he always see anxiety as being a part of his life?