Between Parents

Are you ready for summer? Even though it feels like we have barely defrosted from winter, the days of grilling, swimming, and sunscreen are here. If you're like many parents, the change of routine has its blessings and curses.

On this REPLAY episode Billy and Joy discuss practical tips for making summer fun with just a little bit of effort. Have a listen!

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you're there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don't know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

Have you or your spouse ever felt judged by your in-laws? If so, you know the experience is not just challenging, it's emotional. How do you navigate these treacherous waters and still maintain a relationship? That's today's conversation.

Talk About This:

As you process with your spouse consider the five ideas

1 - How can you create space for your emotions?

2 - In what way do you need to cultivate understanding?

3 - Where do you have expectations as it relates to your inlaws?

4 - Consider what's the best way to plan for the long term?

5 - Do you embrace the "we" factor or does your spouse feel at all accused?

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you're there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don't know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

What do you want to be when you grow up? This seems like a harmless question, right? But what if it undermines what we really want for our kids? That's the thesis of a recent article by Adam Grant and the topic of today's podcast.

Talk About This:

When we talk about the future with our kids, how much do we emphasize the "what" you'll be versus what you'll be "LIKE?"

What are the potential liabilities in the way we talk future employment with our kids? What should we continue to emphasize in the same way?

What unique personalities, types, or wirings separate our kids (or separate our kids from us) that should be noticed as we have future-oriented conversations?

Related-ish Links:

The Full NYT article by Adam Grant HERE

Dolphin like submarine video HERE

Adam Grant TED talk HERE and his book Originals HERE

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you're there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don't know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

Today's episode clears out some of the random questions we have received about family life. There's a little something for everyone here PLUS maybe we answered a question that's been on your mind too!

Talk About This:

In what areas do we struggle with being servant-hearted?

What are key words/phrases we can use to elevate our service factor?

What prevents our ability to release our expectations in our relationships?

Who do we need to spend time with those behind us (newer to) in their season of marriage?

Discuss the idea of opening up your home to others. Are you ready for that? What would be your hesitations? What makes you excited about doing so?

Related Links:

Episode #89 – Why Married People Need Single Friends (& Vise Versa)

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you're there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don't know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

Are you ever tempted to control your kids? Perhaps you're merely tempted to drift into the world of "over-managing" them. Whatever the case, in this episode we give you a word picture WE LOVE that can help you stop the control madness!

Talk About This:

We encourage you to talk to your spouse and extended friends and family about the idea of being a Gardener or an Architect. Work to bring that language into your conversations.

Then identify how your mindset reflects Gardner ideas or Architect ideas. How is this mindset helping or hurting?

NEXT consider what behaviors need to change BECAUSE of this mindset.

Finally, discuss where you feel most pressure to grow at home- curiosity/patience? Improving environments? Or purging worry?

Related Links:

Episode #65 – Balancing Freedom & Responsibility

Episode #114 – How to Worry Less About Your Kids

Neil Gaiman on the Tim Ferris Podcast

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you're there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don't know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

Some say "life is a series of negotiations," so why shouldn't marriage be the same way?

In this episode we'll discuss how negotiations is not only tedious, but also dangerous to your relationship with your spouse. Then, we'll also suggest an alternate approach.

Talk About This:

Discuss your tendencies to turn challenges into negotiations. Does this happen often? Sometimes? Rarely?

When are you most likely to negotiate instead of white boarding your challenges as a couple?

What are reminders/key words you can use with your spouse to make sure the next decision is handled with a "team" approach?

What potential decisions are in your future where you might be tempted to negotiate?

Related Links:

Episode #29 - The Mosquitos of Marriage

Decisive by Chip & Dan Heath

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you're there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don't know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

Who are you?

I don't understand him!

I don't get her!

These are common frustrations in any relationship, but what can you do to move pass misunderstanding? How can you demystify your spouse? That's today's conversation!

Talk About This:

Take one of the areas of your marriage and talk to your spouse about how your behavior reflects Nature, Nurture, and/or Choice. Possible non-emotional areas to process are:

• Where and how do you like to vacation
• How do you like to spend your evenings
• How do you respond to music

Related Links:

Episode # 107 – Understanding Personality Types in Marriage

Episode # 126 – The Five Seasons of Marriage Differences

Episode # 52 – How Family of Origin Impacts Your Marriage

Episode # 97 – Forgiveness in Marriage

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you're there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don't know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

https://www.betweenparentspodcast.com

Unfortunately this simple question doesn't have a simple answer.

In this episode Billy and Joy discussed the critical milestones your kids should reach before getting a phone and the markers you'll need to notice and, as necessary, discuss with your kids during the Pre-Phone Season.

Now it's time for you to have your own discussion. These questions should get you started!

TALK ABOUT THIS:

• How digitally mature are your kids?
• What conversations do you need to initiate with your kids?
• What have been your biggest takeaways through this podcast series?
• What changes or additions do you want to make?
• What other adults are you having this conversation with on a regular basis?

LINKS:

RESOURCES FROM TRANSIT STUDENTS (North Point Community Church):

• VIDEO: Joy Interviewing Andy Stanley on Technology & Parenting
• GUIDE: Smartphone Guide for Parents

TECHNOLOGY SOLUTIONS:

• Circle By Disney: Internet content and time manager
• Covenant Eyes: Screen Accountability

In the last episode we introduced the idea of evaluating digital maturity through a three-part filter - WHEN/HOW MUCH/WHY.

Keep those categories in mind as you listen to episode four. Then get ready to talk strategy! The discussion questions below should prompt you to share how to practically apply those filters in our families. However, you should use this time to get at the best ideas and to consider where you might need to make some changes!

TALK ABOUT THIS:

• What digital guidelines do we have for our family? How do you know they are working?
• Ask everyone to give a grade on their techniques considering the pros and cons.
• What digital guidelines do we want for our family?
• What are the best ways for us to have healthy discussion as a family around digital issues?
• What are the opportunities for us to use technology for good together?
• Are our kids mature enough to handle the digital opportunities we are giving them?

LINK:

BOOK: The Tech Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place.

by Andy Crouch

The primary role of a parent is to raise our kids into mature adults. This includes people who know how to do their own laundry, work, pay a few bills, recycle and maybe even get their own place to live!

However, in the age of constant electronic connection, parents have a new item in their job description: raising digitally mature adults.

Where do you begin? How do you know that maturity actually exists? Listen to this episode as a prompt for the discussion questions below.

TALK ABOUT THIS:

• How do you define "digital maturity?" Does it differ from what you heard in the episode?
• From your perspective, which seems to be the biggest challenge for your kids:
• WHEN they use it
• HOW MUCH they use it, or
• WHY they use it?
• Ask your kids to identify their challenges, too. Do they match?
• What are YOUR challenges with tech? (Remember, you don't get off the hook!)
• What should each of you do in response to these challenges?
• How do you rate your ability to discuss your family tech struggles? Discuss how you can incorporate the language of WHEN/HOW MUCH/WHY into regular conversations.

LINK:

BOOK: Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls by Lisa Damour