Between the Sheets with Dr. Stephanie

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Why can't you get turned on even when you want to? The answer might be less about attraction and more about your nervous system.

In this episode of Between the Sheets with Dr. Z, Dr. Stephanie Zwonitzer, DNP talks with Jessica Idowin, a licensed relationship and sex therapist trained in somatic trauma modalities including EMDR, about the science of connection, arousal, and what it actually takes to stay close to a long-term partner.

What you'll learn in this episode:

• What EMDR therapy actually is, how it works, and why it's used for processing sexual trauma
• Why your brain needs to shift into a parasympathetic ("rest and digest") state before arousal can happen at all
• Simple transition rituals couples can use to move from "work brain" to connection after a stressful day
• Why mismatched libido often isn't about attraction — and the psychoeducation that helps both partners feel less rejected
• The "emotional bank account" concept, and small daily habits that build (or erode) relationship connection
• How to know if your relationship needs repair work vs. individual therapy vs. a "six month" trial period before deciding to separate
• Fun, low-pressure ways to reconnect sexually, including sensory exploration and yes/no/maybe lists
• Why taking orgasm or penetration "off the table" can actually improve intimacy

This is a grounded, practical conversation about what it really takes to stay emotionally and sexually connected over the long haul.

🎙️ Guest: Jessica Idowin, licensed relationship & sex therapist, EMDR-trained
 🔗 Website: expansiveconnectionretreats.com | jessicaidowin.com

Work with Dr. Stephanie

www.reviveish.com
[email protected]


Connect with Between the Sheets:

IG: @ReviveISH

Email: [email protected]

#podmatch

Want to be a guest on Between the Sheets: Exploring Sexual Health & Wellness? Send Stephanie a message on PodMatch here: https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreviews/btswithdrz

Episode is sponsored by Boston Scientific and EDCure. For more information click here:
www.EDCure.com/BTS 

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Why does almost no doctor ask about orgasm quality, arousal, or sexual satisfaction — even when they're asking about everything else?

In this episode of Between the Sheets with Dr. Z, Dr. Stephanie Zwonitzer, DNP talks with Dr. Deborah Durst, a former ER physician and owner of Revitalize MD, about the massive gap in hormone and sexual wellness care, and why cash-based, comprehensive practices are stepping in to fill it.

What you'll learn in this episode:

• Why sexual health questions (orgasm quality, arousal, lubrication) should be standard intake questions — and almost never are
• Why hormone therapy can't be treated as an "add-on service" after a weekend course — and what real hormone management actually requires
• The real difference between perimenopause and menopause, and why "12 months without a period" isn't the full picture
• Why testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone can't be adjusted in isolation — and why compounded combo products are often a red flag
• The truth about compounding pharmacies: how they're regulated, why they've filled a 20+ year gap in women's hormone care, and why misinformation about their safety persists
• Why insurance-based medicine is built for emergencies, not prevention or quality of life — and how that shapes what your doctor can and can't offer you
• What a truly comprehensive hormone workup looks like (labs, symptoms, and how it all connects — thyroid, vitamin D, cortisol, and more)

If you've ever left a doctor's appointment with more questions than answers, this conversation explains why — and what better care can look like.

🎙️ Guest: Dr. Deborah Durst, founder of Revitalize MD
 🔗 YouTube: Deborah Durst MD

Work with Dr. Stephanie

www.reviveish.com
[email protected]


Connect with Between the Sheets:

IG: @ReviveISH

Email: [email protected]

#podmatch

Want to be a guest on Between the Sheets: Exploring Sexual Health & Wellness? Send Stephanie a message on PodMatch here: https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreviews/btswithdrz

Episode is sponsored by Boston Scientific and EDCure. For more information click here:
www.EDCure.com/BTS 

Send us Fan Mail

One-third of women have a higher sex drive than the average man — so why does no one talk about it?

In this episode of Between the Sheets with Dr. Z, Dr. Stephanie Zwonitzer, DNP talks with Courtney Faye Long, an intimacy expert and sexuality educator with nearly 30 years of experience, about highly sexual women, the shame that keeps them silent, and what she calls "erotic abandonment" — the ache of wanting more intimacy than you're getting.

What you'll learn in this episode:

• Why the "men always want it more" narrative is a myth — and why so many high-desire women hide it
• The 8 types of erotic abandonment, including desire gaps, rushed warm-ups, mechanical sex, and unseen hunger
• Why women's bodies often need 20–45 minutes of arousal time — and why that's physiological, not just emotional
• How to navigate mismatched finish times in a relationship without shame or resentment on either side
• The subconscious roots of sexual shame, and how hypnotherapy can help clear it
• A simple daily "pleasure practice" to help women reconnect with their bodies and desires
• The physiology of feeling wanted: how desire itself increases blood flow, lubrication, nitric oxide, and vaginal tenting
• Why asking your partner "what makes you feel desired?" changes everything
• The role of exercise (cardio and resistance training) in boosting arousal through nitric oxide

If you've ever felt "too much" for wanting more intimacy, this episode is your permission slip.

🎙️ Guest: Courtney Faye Long, intimacy expert, sexuality educator & hypnotherapist
 🔗 Website: CourtneyFayeLong.com (free quiz + complimentary sex life makeover session)

Work with Dr. Stephanie

www.reviveish.com
[email protected]


Connect with Between the Sheets:

IG: @ReviveISH

Email: [email protected]

#podmatch

Want to be a guest on Between the Sheets: Exploring Sexual Health & Wellness? Send Stephanie a message on PodMatch here: https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreviews/btswithdrz

Episode is sponsored by Boston Scientific and EDCure. For more information click here:
www.EDCure.com/BTS 

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Most of us went on birth control at 16 or 17 and never thought about it again. But what if it's been quietly affecting your mood, libido, bone density, and more — for decades — and no one told you?

In this episode of Between the Sheets with Dr. Z, Dr. Stephanie Zwonitzer, DNP talks with Tierra Duncan, author of The Birth Control Illusion: Reclaiming Hormones, Health and Your Cycle, about the gaps in women's health education around hormonal contraception — and what informed consent should actually look like.

What you'll learn in this episode:

• Why estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone are "whole body" hormones, not just reproductive ones
• How synthetic hormones in birth control differ from your body's natural hormones — and why that matters
• The real link between birth control and mood disorders, low libido, vaginal dryness, and bone density loss
• Why the "period" you have on the pill isn't a real period (and the surprising marketing history behind it)
• How birth control is often prescribed for symptoms (acne, cramps, heavy periods) instead of addressing root causes
• Non-hormonal alternatives, including the fertility awareness method and copper IUD trade-offs
• Why postpartum birth control decisions deserve more caution and conversation
• How tracking your cycle can help you understand your energy, mood, and body better — without falling into rigid "cycle syncing" rules
• Why sleep, stress, and nutrition play a bigger role in hormone health than most people realize

This is the conversation so many women wish they'd had before they ever started birth control — and one worth having now, no matter your age or stage.

🎙️ Guest: Tierra Duncan, author, educator, and women's health advocate
 🔗 Book: The Birth Control Illusion (Amazon, Audible, Kindle, Barnes & Noble) | YouTube & Instagram: @tierraduncanauthor | Website: tierraduncan.com

Work with Dr. Stephanie

www.reviveish.com
[email protected]


Connect with Between the Sheets:

IG: @ReviveISH

Email: [email protected]

#podmatch

Want to be a guest on Between the Sheets: Exploring Sexual Health & Wellness? Send Stephanie a message on PodMatch here: https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreviews/btswithdrz

Episode is sponsored by Boston Scientific and EDCure. For more information click here:
www.EDCure.com/BTS 

Send us Fan Mail

What if the key to better sex, real consent, and healing from trauma isn't in your head — it's in your body?

In this episode of Between the Sheets with Dr. Z, Dr. Stephanie Zwonitzer, DNP talks with Sara Perry, a somatic sex educator and sexological body worker (and owner of Haven Space Coaching), about what it actually means to reconnect with sensation, desire, and pleasure — and why so much of our sex education leaves this out entirely.

What you'll learn in this episode:

• What "somatic" really means, and why healing happens through the body, not just the mind
• Why teaching consent without teaching self-awareness leaves people unable to identify what they actually want
• The "spectrum of response" — how yes, no, and maybe have far more nuance than we're taught
• Why safe words often go unused, and better ways to communicate "slow down" or "let's shift" in the moment
• Why being told "no" by a partner is actually a sign of trust and safety, not rejection
• How the body can respond sexually even during non-consensual or traumatic experiences — and why that doesn't mean anything about the person
• What sexological body work is, how it differs from pelvic floor therapy, and who it can help (including scar tissue, discordant ejaculation, and reconnecting with a body that's changed after illness or surgery)
• A simple at-home somatic exercise anyone can try today

This is a conversation about slowing down, tuning in, and giving yourself permission to feel — exactly as you are, in this moment.

🎙️ Guest: Sara Perry, somatic sex educator & sexological body worker, Haven Space Coaching
 🔗 Website: havenspacecoaching.com | TikTok & Instagram: @havenspacecoaching

Work with Dr. Stephanie

www.reviveish.com
[email protected]


Connect with Between the Sheets:

IG: @ReviveISH

Email: [email protected]

#podmatch

Want to be a guest on Between the Sheets: Exploring Sexual Health & Wellness? Send Stephanie a message on PodMatch here: https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreviews/btswithdrz

Episode is sponsored by Boston Scientific and EDCure. For more information click here:
www.EDCure.com/BTS 

Send us Fan Mail

What if your low libido, ED, or fatigue isn't a hormone problem — it's a cellular energy problem?

In this episode of Between the Sheets with Dr. Z, Dr. Stephanie Zwonitzer, DNP talks with Dr. Jess Armine, a functional medicine practitioner with nearly 50 years of clinical experience specializing in long COVID, post-viral syndromes, and complex chronic illness. Dr. Armine breaks down why so many patients "do everything right" — fix their hormones, follow the protocol — and still don't feel better, and what's actually happening underneath at the cellular level.

What you'll learn in this episode:

• Why mitochondria (your body's energy factories) drive far more than energy — including sexual function
• The "cell danger response": how toxins, infections, and even emotional trauma can all trigger the same cellular dysfunction
• Why sexual arousal requires high energy output and a calm nervous system — and what happens when your body doesn't have either
• Why hormone replacement alone sometimes "stops working" over time if root causes aren't addressed
• The connection between long COVID, chronic fatigue, and sexual dysfunction in both men and women
• Simple, practical steps for supporting cellular health: liposomal vitamins, gut health, digestive enzymes, and more
• Why treating the whole picture (hormones + nervous system + immune system + cellular energy) gets better results than treating one lab value in isolation

If you've been doing "everything right" and still don't feel like yourself, this episode explains what might actually be missing.

🎙️ Guest: Dr. Jess Armine, functional medicine practitioner
 🔗 Website: DrJessarmine.com | YouTube: @DrJessarmine | Instagram: @DrJessearmine724

Work with Dr. Stephanie

www.reviveish.com
[email protected]


Connect with Between the Sheets:

IG: @ReviveISH

Email: [email protected]

#podmatch

Want to be a guest on Between the Sheets: Exploring Sexual Health & Wellness? Send Stephanie a message on PodMatch here: https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreviews/btswithdrz

Episode is sponsored by Boston Scientific and EDCure. For more information click here:
www.EDCure.com/BTS 

Send us Fan Mail

What if the biggest thing standing between you and great sex isn't chemistry — it's honesty?

In this episode of Between the Sheets with Dr. Z, Dr. Stephanie Zwonitzer, DNP sits down with Jocelyn Silva, a sexual empowerment and intimacy coach whose work centers on what she calls "relentless authenticity." After surviving the fallout of her own infidelity and rebuilding her life through SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) recovery, Jocelyn has spent over 15 years helping thousands of people release sexual shame, rediscover desire, and build relationships grounded in truth.

What you'll learn in this episode:

• Why intimacy cannot exist without authenticity — and how to tell if you're holding back
• How growing up in a shame-based household shapes adult sexuality, and how to unlearn it
• The real reason couples avoid talking about sex (hint: it's not lack of desire)
• Jocelyn's "playground" framework for setting clear boundaries so sex feels safe, not stressful
• Why you should be having "state of the union" conversations about your sex life every 6–12 months
• How aging, health changes, and life stages (kids, illness, caregiving) constantly reshape intimacy — and why the conversation is never "one and done"
• A simple way to give and receive feedback about sex without shame or hurt feelings

This conversation is a masterclass in communication — for anyone who's ever avoided a hard conversation with their partner because it felt easier not to have it.

🎙️ Guest: Jocelyn Silva, sexual empowerment & intimacy coach
 🔗 Instagram: @iamjocelynsilva | Website: jocelynsilva.com

Work with Dr. Stephanie

www.reviveish.com
[email protected]


Connect with Between the Sheets:

IG: @ReviveISH

Email: [email protected]

#podmatch

Want to be a guest on Between the Sheets: Exploring Sexual Health & Wellness? Send Stephanie a message on PodMatch here: https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreviews/btswithdrz

Episode is sponsored by Boston Scientific and EDCure. For more information click here:
www.EDCure.com/BTS 

Send us Fan Mail

She was one of the first reproductive acupuncturists in North America. She worked with over 10,000 infertile couples. And then she built an AI that beat her by 6%.

In this episode of Between the Sheets with Dr. Z, Dr. Stephanie Zwonitzer, DNP sits down with Kirsten Karchmer — reproductive health pioneer, author of Seeing Red, and founder of Conceivable — for a conversation that will make you rethink everything you know about your period, your hormones, and what fertility really means. Kirsten spent 20 years in clinic before a single statistic changed everything: less than 3% of couples can afford fertility treatment. So she built something better, and it works.

In a pilot of 105 women, with zero human interaction and no IVF, her AI app increased the likelihood of natural conception by 150 to 260% in just four months — for $15 a month.

What you'll learn in this episode:

• Why tracking ovulation with a fertility monitor may actually increase your miscarriage risk — and what to do instead
• What a "conceivable cycle" looks like (most women have never had one and don't know it)
• Why 80% of the 16,000 women Kirsten surveyed had energy levels of 6 or below — and why that matters enormously for fertility
• The connection between fatigue, exhaustion, and miscarriage that almost nobody is talking about
• How PMS is not normal — and how 85% of women can have almost none of it within 90 days
• What your menstrual blood is actually telling you about your liver, hormones, and overall health
• Why the app uses a virtual AI care team (nutritionist, therapist, data analyst, and more) to address fertility from every angle simultaneously
• The forever chemicals in your skincare products that are quietly disrupting your hormones
• Heart rate variability, the vagus nerve, and why getting out of fight-or-flight is the missing piece for so many women
• What happened when Kirsten got accidentally pregnant at 47 with an FSH of 23 (yes, really)

Find Kirsten and Conceivable:

• 🌐 conceivable.com — sign up for early access and the personalized supplement quiz
• 📖 Seeing Red — available wherever books are sold

📅 Navigating perimenopause, hormone imbalances, or sexual health concerns? Let's talk. Book a consult at reviveish.com

Work with Dr. Stephanie

www.reviveish.com
[email protected]

Episode is sponsored by Boston Scientific and EDCure. For more information click here:
www.EDCure.com/BTS 

Connect with Between the Sheets:

IG: @ReviveISH

Email: [email protected]

#podmatch

Want to be a guest on Between the Sheets: Exploring Sexual Health & Wellness? Send Stephanie a message on PodMatch here: https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreviews/btswithdrz

Send us Fan Mail

Here's something nobody told you: boys come into the world with a broader range of emotional expression than girls do. And then we spend the next 18 years systematically shutting it down.

In this episode of Between the Sheets with Dr. Z, Dr. Stephanie Zwonitzer, DNP sits down with Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst — psychotherapist with over 50 years of experience and author of Read, Reflect, Respond: The Three Rs of Growth and Change — for a conversation that reframes everything you thought you knew about men and emotions. Dr. Vanderhorst has spent decades working with boys from preschool through adulthood and has watched the same pattern play out: a child with a full emotional range gets shamed, shut down, and trained out of vulnerability. Then he grows up, gets married, and his partner wonders why he won't open up.

The answer isn't that he can't. It's that we taught him not to.

What you'll learn in this episode:

• Why boys are born more emotionally expressive than girls — and what happens to that capacity over time
• How shame and social conditioning box away emotions without erasing them — and why that means it's never too late
• The free feelings word list Dr. Vanderhorst swears by — and exactly where to put it in your house so it actually gets used
• Why women say they want emotionally available men, then unconsciously shut them down when they try
• The car, the dark room, and the bedtime cuddle — why side-by-side conversations unlock what face-to-face conversations can't
• How unexpressed emotion ends up stored in the body as physical pain and illness
• Why men's deepest friendships often involve zero emotional vulnerability — and what that costs them
• The connection between emotional intelligence and problem-solving that most people never make
• When to stop trying to fix it yourself and get outside help — and why earlier is always better

Dr. Vanderhorst's free feelings word list and blog resources are available at drvandherhorst.com. Her book Read, Reflect, Respond is available on Amazon and at bookstores everywhere.

📅 Hormonal shifts affecting mood, connection, or desire in your relationship? We can help. Book a consult at reviveish.com

Work with Dr. Stephanie

www.reviveish.com
[email protected]

Episode is sponsored by Boston Scientific and EDCure. For more information click here:
www.EDCure.com/BTS 

Connect with Between the Sheets:

IG: @ReviveISH

Email: [email protected]

#podmatch

Want to be a guest on Between the Sheets: Exploring Sexual Health & Wellness? Send Stephanie a message on PodMatch here: https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreviews/btswithdrz

Send us Fan Mail

At 50, after 26 years in a sexless marriage, Xanet Pailet found herself single, living in New York City, and facing an uncomfortable truth: she had never enjoyed sex. Not once. Her imaginary dating profile read: "Smart, successful, cute — I just really hate sex."

That was the wake-up call that changed everything.

In this episode of Between the Sheets with Dr. Z, Dr. Stephanie Zwonitzer, DNP sits down with Xanet Pailet — bestselling author of Living an Orgasmic Life and the brand new Sex and Intimacy Repair Kit, and founder of Passionate Intimacy Retreats — for one of the most candid, practical, and genuinely hopeful conversations this podcast has ever had. Xanet has now led over 100 couples retreats, holds certifications in Somatica sex and intimacy training and somatic trauma work, and yes — she enjoys sex now. (She mentioned it was Saturday morning. We love that for her.)

What you'll learn in this episode:

• Why sexless marriages often have nothing to do with not loving your partner — and everything to do with unhealed childhood wounds and sexual shame
• What tantra actually is, why it's one of the most powerful tools for couples who feel disconnected, and how breathwork alone can begin to rebuild intimacy
• Why you cannot experience pleasure when your nervous system is in fight-or-flight — and how to change that
• The erotic blueprints framework and why your blueprint shifts over time (what worked at 30 won't necessarily work at 45)
• The concept of core desires — the emotions underneath your fantasies — and why getting those met makes sex dramatically hotter and more consistent
• Why faking orgasms is a trap, how women end up in it, and how to get out without blowing up your relationship
• How to start the sexless marriage conversation with your partner without opening a bomb
• What four days at an intimacy retreat actually looks like — and why Xanet insists on being in the room with couples in person

Take Xanet's free intimacy style quiz at howtoimprovemylovelife.com. Find her books Living an Orgasmic Life and The Sex and Intimacy Repair Kit on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Learn about retreats at passionateintimacyretreats.com.

📅 Hormonal changes, pain with sex, or low desire making intimacy harder? Let's address the physical side. Book a consult at reviveish.com

Work with Dr. Stephanie

www.reviveish.com
[email protected]

Episode is sponsored by Boston Scientific and EDCure. For more information click here:
www.EDCure.com/BTS 

Connect with Between the Sheets:

IG: @ReviveISH

Email: [email protected]

#podmatch

Want to be a guest on Between the Sheets: Exploring Sexual Health & Wellness? Send Stephanie a message on PodMatch here: https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreviews/btswithdrz