Between Us

He's telling the parking garage story again, to a table of six. She laughs about half a second after everybody else. Then June comes up, and he finds out about the lake house at the same time as the rest of the table.

This one is about lines. The things that were never about the house: being respected, treated fairly, feeling safe with the person you live with. Why "you're too sensitive" is never the answer, how to tell a real line from plain old control, and one sentence for tonight that you only have to say once. Nobody's in trouble here.

Between Us is for people who love each other and are still figuring it out.

A Key To Us podcast. keytous.com

Everybody knows it isn't what you say, it's how you say it, and that piece of advice has ended more evenings than it has ever saved.

"Have you got the forms?" Five words, a fair question, asked twice already that week, and in the hall on a Tuesday morning it came out sharp. This one is about tone: the sharpness on an ordinary sentence, why it starts more fights than any subject does, what the person hearing it is supposed to do with it, then one thing to say tonight that takes about ten seconds. Nobody's in trouble here.

Between Us is for people who love each other and are still figuring it out.

A Key To Us podcast. keytous.com

A wet towel on the bed, every morning for a week, until she can see the towel before she can see the man who left it there.

This one is about the small things. Why you stop seeing the good in somebody, which isn't the reason most people think. What the person leaving the towel owes you, because it isn't nothing. Three kinds of annoying, and only one of them is worth a conversation. Then one thing to say tonight that takes about four seconds. Nobody's in trouble here.

Between Us is for people who love each other and are still figuring it out.

A Key To Us podcast. keytous.com

A woman in a supermarket car park says she is fine, three times, into the phone.

This one is about the two most spoken words in any house, and what they mean, which isn't what either of you thinks. Why the person who says it isn't lying to you, why the person who hears it feels a door close anyway, and one sentence to try tonight that's about an inch long. Nobody's in trouble here.

Between Us is for people who love each other and are still figuring it out.

A Key To Us podcast. keytous.com

There's a woman on a sofa tonight, three feet from the person she loves, texting a friend about how lonely she is.

This one is about attention. Not phones exactly, although the phones are in this: what it costs to be in the same room as somebody and not be with them, where that starts, why the person who disappears into a screen isn't leaving you, and one small thing to try tonight that takes four minutes. Nobody's in trouble here.

Between Us is for people who love each other and are still figuring it out. Nobody has to put the phone down forever.

Follow so the next one finds you.

A Key To Us podcast.

There is a fifty-four-dollar sweater hiding in the trunk of a car right now, because hiding it is easier than having the conversation.

This is the money talk you keep postponing. Not budgets, not spreadsheets. What's underneath it: why you can't win a money argument with a calculator, where your money instincts actually come from, and one small thing to try tonight so the next money talk stays small.

Between Us is for people who love each other and are still figuring it out. Nobody's in trouble here.

A Key To Us podcast.

00:00 The sweater in the trunk

00:17 Welcome in

01:59 Why the calculator never wins

03:27 Savers and spenders

05:39 Where your side of it came from

07:25 The candle and the envelope

09:17 The chair move

10:27 One small thing to try tonight

12:07 One game before you go

The fight ended at nine. Nobody won. At quarter past ten he appeared in the doorway with two cups of tea, holding them like a white flag.

This is about the part afterwards. The silence, the two separate rooms, who goes first, and why the couples who last aren't the ones who argue less. They're just faster at the coming back part. Repair first, resolution later, and one small thing to agree on tonight while you still like each other.

Between Us is for people who love each other and are still figuring it out. Nobody has to apologise perfectly here.

A Key To Us podcast.

00:00 Two cups of tea, like a white flag

00:17 Welcome in

00:46 The house an hour after

02:02 Arguments don't end, distance does

03:08 The tea, the biscuit, the dog in a sock

04:31 Who goes first

05:36 Taking the tea at sixty percent

07:40 The apology in another language

08:25 The toast armistice

10:29 One small thing: pick your signal

11:26 One game before you go

"Just tell me what to do, and I'll do it." He was being kind. She started crying into the salad, because that kind sentence was the whole problem.

This is the one about who does what at home. Not chore charts, not laminated schedules. What's underneath it: why the dishes are never about the dishes, why splitting the tasks never fixes it, and one small thing to try tonight that costs nothing.

Between Us is for people who love each other and are still figuring it out. Nobody's in trouble here.

A Key To Us podcast.

00:00 The salad at the dinner party

00:19 Welcome in

00:47 The host who is quietly coming apart

02:18 The one that never starts with a sentence

04:07 The noticer and the other one

06:01 The machinery nobody warns you about

06:49 Stop dividing tasks, start handing over jobs

08:34 The note, and what he said back

10:03 One small thing to try tonight

11:47 One game before you go

A new podcast from Key To Us.

Money, the chores, the silence after a fight. The conversations couples keep postponing, and what's actually underneath them. No experts, no homework, no side taken. One small thing to try tonight, every time.

Between Us is for people who love each other and are still figuring it out. Nobody's in trouble here.

First three episodes on 8 September, then a new one every Tuesday.

Follow so the next one finds you.

A Key To Us podcast.