In this episode of Beyond Belief, Shalom speaks with Flatbush Girl, an Orthodox Jewish advocate working for change from inside the community. Rather than telling a story of leaving religion, she describes why she remains connected to Orthodox Judaism while openly criticizing systems she sees as harmful, especially around women’s rights, marriage, divorce, mikvah, niddah, and communal power structures.
The conversation explores the tension between allegiance and critique: how someone can love a community, believe in its spiritual framework, and still argue that “the whole thing needs a major app update.” Flatbush Girl reflects on growing up in Flatbush, the role of privilege in making the frum system work for some people, feminist readings of Torah and halakha, the agunah crisis, open relationships, and the deeply personal process of renegotiating one’s relationship with religion.
Timestamps
00:32 Episode Setup and Context
02:18 Meet Flatbush Girl
03:41 What Being Frum Means
04:23 Growing Up in Flatbush
06:34 Privilege and Rebellion
09:02 Systems That Need Updating
10:52 Can Jewish Law Change
13:11 Feminist Lens on Torah
17:18 Literal Text Pushback
19:24 What Indoctrination Mean
s22:18 Why Stay Orthodox
24:29 How Change Happens
27:07 Open Relationships and Halakha
31:15 Advice on Finding Your Path
33:35 Open Relationships and Religion
Glossary
Agunah — A “chained woman”; a woman unable to remarry because her husband refuses or is unable to give a Jewish divorce.
Bais Yaakov — Orthodox Jewish girls’ school system.
Bashert — Destined or meant to be.
Beis Hamikdash — The ancient Temple in Jerusalem.
Bnei Yisrael — The Children of Israel; the Jewish people.
Ezras Nashim — Literally “women’s section”; here, the name of an all-female Orthodox emergency medical service.
Flatbush — A Brooklyn neighborhood with a large Orthodox Jewish community.
Frum — Religiously observant Orthodox Jewish.
Frum Oilem / Olam — The frum world or Orthodox Jewish community.
Get / Gett — Jewish divorce document given by the husband to the wife.
Gittin — Jewish divorce documents/laws.
Halakha — Jewish law.
Has v’Shalom — “God forbid”; used to reject or recoil from something considered bad or improper.
Hashem — Literally “the Name”; a common Orthodox way to refer to God.
Hashgacha Pratis — Divine providence; the idea that events are personally guided by God.
Kashrus — Jewish dietary laws; what is kosher.
Ketubah / Ksuba — Jewish marriage contract.
Kiddushin — Jewish betrothal/marriage laws.
Kiruv — Orthodox Jewish outreach aimed at bringing less-observant Jews toward greater observance.
Lakewood — A major American Haredi/yeshivish Orthodox community in New Jersey.
Mephorshim / Meforshim — Classical Jewish commentators.
Mikvah — Ritual bath used for religious purification, including in family purity laws.
Minhag — Jewish custom.
Mizbeach — Altar, especially the Temple altar.
Neder — A vow.
Nekuda — A vowel point or small textual mark in Hebrew.
Netilat Yadayim — Ritual handwashing.
Nida — Jewish laws around menstruation and marital intimacy.
Passuk / Pasuk — A biblical verse.
Pesach — Passover.
Refuah kodem l’makah — “The cure comes before the wound”; the idea that a remedy exists before the problem appears.
Seforim — Jewish religious books.
Seforim shrank/shrank — Yiddish/English term for a bookcase or cabinet holding Jewish religious books.
Shabbos — Sabbath; the Jewish day of rest from Friday evening to Saturday night.
Shalom Bayis — Literally “peace in the home”; often means marital harmony.
Shiva — Seven-day Jewish mourning period after the death of a close relative.
Tehillim — Psalms, often recited as prayer.
Torah — The foundational Jewish sacred text, especially the Five Books of Moses.
Yeshiva — Orthodox Jewish religious school, often focused on Torah and Talmud study.
Yeshivish — A more traditional Orthodox Jewish cultural/religious style, often associated with yeshiva communities.
Yiddishkeit — Jewishness; Jewish religious and cultural life.
