Choosing Chaos: Solo Motherhood by Choice

Beyond Every Expectation: Melissa Whalen on Gratitude, Special Needs and Motherhood


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What happens when motherhood begins in the unexpected?

In this episode of Choosing Chaos, we sit down with Melissa Whalen, whose journey into motherhood started when her daughter was born at just 29 weeks and six days. After developing preeclampsia that escalated into HELLP syndrome, Melissa faced an early delivery and the challenges of the NICU.

Now, she’s raising her neurodivergent daughter—who is making incredible strides with her skills—with endless love, advocacy, and determination. Melissa shares how she continues to seek out the support her daughter needs to thrive, while navigating the ups and downs of motherhood with honesty and strength.

Melissa's Recommended Resources: 

Medicaid Waiver Programs – Some states provide Medicaid for kids with special needs regardless of parent income. Find your state’s info here: Kids Waivers

Service Coordination – State/county coordinators can connect families to resources and waitlists.

Early Intervention – Early services are available in every state for infants/toddlers with developmental delays.

ABA Therapy – While controversial, neurodiversity-affirming ABA can be helpful for some families.

Education Supports – Explore IEPs and 504 Plans to ensure schools provide needed tools. Advocates are available if schools aren’t meeting a child’s needs.

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Choosing Chaos: Solo Motherhood by ChoiceBy Laura Nave

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