This episode is also available as a blog post: http://fureverbeach.com/2021/09/18/beyond-lady-pandora-episode-10-a-in-my-head/

Screaming. When I sit still in the quiet, there is a memory of screaming. My grandmother, she is screaming. It's a primal scream, the kind of scream that chills your blood and freezes you in place, like they are being murdered. Then me screaming and blinding pain, screaming as if the sound itself could be a weapon, formed physically in the air above me, coming out of my mouth. Just screaming and pain. Sometimes, bits and pieces, sometimes moments flow through and it's as if I'm right there, yet not. Like I'm dream walking through my life. Everything is foggy then crystal clear and then foggy once more. What does it mean? It's frightening. I do not know myself at times. It's not me. It's not happening to me, I'm just watching, sliding along through life. 

The voices in my head. It's hard to listen to others, to hold conversations, to focus. I'm already listening to what is going on in my head. Opinions, so many opinions on everything, so many different perspectives and ideas. Do this, do that. It is exhausting at times. People think I'm not listening but I am or at least, I'm trying to. I just get distracted and interrupted while talking and listening by a group of people no one can see. That doesn't sound at all crazy, does it? I wonder why I've tried to hide it for so long.