When your partner speaks to you or asks something of you, what percentage of the time would you say you are attentive? Or do you respond at all? Surprisingly, how often we honor these “bids for attention” (or don’t) reveals if our relationship will be satisfying, chronically unhappy, or if it will last.

In episode 19, The Matts discuss the Gottman Theory called, “Bids for Attention.” A bid for attention is a request from your partner for any type of positive connection; a simple request for help, the sharing of a funny meme, asking how your day was, etc.

This Gottman study determines that in order to have a successful and fulfilling relationship, we must understand how our partner is seeking to gain our attention, affection, and/or acceptance, and learn how to better fulfill these bids for emotional connection.