Raising boys is a unique and profound experience, one filled with love, hope and the unwavering belief in our son's potential. But as a black boy, it can also be a journey fraught with obstacles, stereotypes and systemic injustices that threaten to derail their dreams. Raising black boys in Britain comes off its own set of challenges and considerations. 

Joining us today to discuss this are Aaron Dale, father of two and podcast host of Raising Boys 2 Men and Andrez Harriott, singer in the chart-topping band Damage, a criminologist and the CEO of TLG, an organisation that works closely with disadvantaged and vulnerable children. 

We'll delve deep into the joys and triumphs of parenting black boys, celebrating their brilliance, creativity and resilience in the face of adversity. We’ll also confront the harsh realities and painful truths surrounding race, discrimination and inequalities that we as parents fear may shape their lived experiences. 

What is Covered: 

-How identity is seen and valued in Britain

-How to raise boys from Africa and the Caribbean within the British context 

-The power of popular culture and the community in creating a positive self-image of black boys

-Character before colour - how one’s character fights against structural issues

-“The Talk” that parents need to have with their children about the systemic obstacles they may encounter while growing up  

-The challenges of raising children in interracial relationships 

-How to build resilience within the community and help black boys thrive as children and young adults

-The need for safe spaces for men to be open, vulnerable and to work on handling their emotions

-How and where black boys can find positive role models for themselves     

Resources: 

-Listen to the Raising Boys 2 Men Podcast hosted by Aaron Dale https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raisingboys2men-podcast/id1625584737 

-Connect with Andrez Harriott https://www.instagram.com/andrezharriott/ 

-Let’s connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigchatsmalltalk/  

-Subscribe to be the first to know about new content https://linktr.ee/bigchatsmalltalk 

-Send a Voice Message to Big Chat Small Talk https://www.speakpipe.com/BigChatSmallTalk

We've all heard the saying that you don't marry the individual but the family. But how true is that in real life? In-laws come in all shapes and sizes, and Viola Fields from “Monster-in-Law” illustrates just what a nightmare it can be when all parties are not happy with the partnership that's about to take place. Likewise, it doesn't just stop at the mother-in-law, but the surrounding family members can also affect the smooth sailing relationship of a new couple. 

We’ll be discussing toxic in-laws, and are they really interfering and overbearing, or just initiating you into the family way?

What is Covered: 

-Different family norms and how families ‘advertise’ themselves to new members

-Cultural differences that can cause conflicts in the extended family

-In which situations the initiation into a new family can become toxic

-Is blood thicker than water? How to deal with the interference from your partner’s family

-The role of your partner in preventing toxic interference and setting boundaries

-Should you marry at all if you identify too many red flags with potential future in-laws?

-How conflicts with in-laws are prevented and navigated in arranged marriages

Resources: 

-Let’s connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigchatsmalltalk/  

-Subscribe to be the first to know about new content https://linktr.ee/bigchatsmalltalk 

-Send a Voice Message to Big Chat Small Talk https://www.speakpipe.com/BigChatSmallTalk

At the heart of the polyamorous versus monogamy debate lies the very fabric of human relationships, societal norms and individual freedoms. As we delve into this complex and multifaceted topic, it is imperative that we approach it with an open mind, a spirit of critical inquiry, and a deep respect for differing perspectives. 

On one hand, we have monogamy, a relationship structure deeply ingrained in many cultures and societies around the world. On the other hand, we have polyamory, a practice that challenges the conventional norms of a monogamous relationship by allowing individuals to have multiple partners simultaneously. So the question is, is polyamory on the rise and monogamy now taboo?

What is Covered: 

-How monogamy has changed over decades and why some people believe it’s now  more taboo

-The pros and cons of monogamy 

-Why polyamory is trending and what its pros and cons are

-Legal implications of monogamy and polyamory

-The issues of jealousy and trust in monogamy and polyamory

-The politics and expectations of monogamy and polyamory

-How today’s children view partnerships and what will happen when they are in their 50s and 60s

-Why weddings keep being popular

-The case for “reselling” monogamy

Resources: 

-Let’s connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigchatsmalltalk/  

-Subscribe to be the first to know about new content https://linktr.ee/bigchatsmalltalk 

-Send a Voice Message to Big Chat Small Talk https://www.speakpipe.com/BigChatSmallTalk

How does social media impact our kids? On a TV show, the U.S. surgeon general commented that 95% of teens ages 13 to 17 are using social media. Additionally, in recent months, Common Sense Media also found that 8% of 16-year-olds have their own smartphone. 

Although there are a lot of positives associated with connecting with friends online, there are also some very real dangers. With smartphones and social media here to stay, do parents need to be more vigilant?

What we Cover: 

-What stranger danger means in the context of social media

-The issues with having mobile phones such as lack of exercise and disturbed sleep 

-Dealing with cyberbullying, grooming and unrealistic ideas about physical appearance

-Social media restriction as a means to build character in children

-How to implement a “digital diet” and build a better relationship with social media

-The distinction between state censorship and state regulation of social media

-4 useful tips for parents seeking a healthier relationship with technology in their families 

Resources: 

-Let’s connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigchatsmalltalk/  

-Subscribe to be the first to know about new content https://linktr.ee/bigchatsmalltalk 

-Send a Voice Message to Big Chat Small Talk https://www.speakpipe.com/BigChatSmallTalk

This week, we will be exploring the highs, the lows and everything in between of parenthood specifically related to those nightmare playdates.

Most parents have experienced at least one tale of terror and we've searched the internet to bring you just a few of those tales today. We've all been there excited that our child is going to have a fun afternoon full of positive social interactions that spirals out of control and ends up with meltdowns and total mess. 

So we put together a list of eight rules to help you prevent nightmare playdates and spend enjoyable or productive time while the kids are playing. 

What is covered: 

-The benefits of playdates for both children and parents 

-What playdate politics is

-How to deal with one-sided playdates

-The pros and cons of the parent staying on a playdate

-How to deal with badly behaved kids or parents

-Why some kids may behave totally different when they’re not in school 

-Big Chat Small Talk 8 rules for successful playdates

Resources: 

-Let’s connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigchatsmalltalk/  

-Subscribe to be the first to know about new content https://linktr.ee/bigchatsmalltalk 

-Send a Voice Message to Big Chat Small Talk https://www.speakpipe.com/BigChatSmallTalk

Birth order theory suggests that our place among siblings can leave a lasting imprint on our personalities and behaviour. You've probably heard people joke about how the eldest child is the boss you want, the middle child is the peacemaker and the youngest child is the responsible rebel. Whilst each birth order position comes with its own set of characteristics and challenges, does the order of your child's have really determined their personality?

In this episode, we’re going to discuss siblings' order, and share our experiences and insights into how the order of birth might affect our children’s personalities. 

What is Covered: 

-How we experienced the siblings order as we were growing up

-How the number of children and whether they are boys or girls affect their expression in a family

-The role of the eldest sibling and how age gap between siblings plays into birth order theory

-Grouping of children when there are many in the family, and why parental styles differ from the oldest to the youngest child

-The characteristics of a firstborn, a secondborn, a lastborn, and the only child

-How the expected gender roles in a family affect the conflicts between siblings

-How the order of birth in our primary family later affects our parenting style 

-What is the magic number of children?  

Resources: 

-Let’s connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigchatsmalltalk/  

-Subscribe to be the first to know about new content https://linktr.ee/bigchatsmalltalk 

-Send a Voice Message to Big Chat Small Talk https://www.speakpipe.com/BigChatSmallTalk

Pregnancy and childbirth are incredible experiences filled with joy, anticipation, and a fair share of challenges, whether you are a first-time parent-to-be or a seasoned pro preparing for another addition to the family.

So is the challenge of having a baby or family worth it? 

That’s what we are going to discuss in this episode. We’ll also share the voice messages we received from our lovely listeners sharing their experiences with conception, pregnancy or delivery. 

What is Covered: 

-The pros and cons of being an older mum

-The pros and cons of being a young mum

-Conception experiences and issues, and different technologies that can help

-Our experiences with pregnancy with each of our children

-Delivery experiences and why it’s different for everyone

-How our partners can help with the whole process of pregnancy and birth 

Resources: 

-Let’s connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigchatsmalltalk/  

-Subscribe to be the first to know about new content https://linktr.ee/bigchatsmalltalk 

-Send a Voice Message to Big Chat Small Talk https://www.speakpipe.com/BigChatSmallTalk

In today's society, where governmental intervention into family life has become more frequent occurrence, are children overly protected by this, empowering a nanny's state, or has moving away from the types of traditional discipline, outlawed in places like Scotland, seen the growth of empowered youth?

In this episode, we’re looking into how we discipline our children. There is no right way or wrong way, obviously, but have our children grown into society the way that we want them to grow? 

What is Covered: 

-Our experiences with being disciplined when we were growing up

-Our definition of disciplining a child

-Why unruly children are on the rise in schools

-Does corporal punishment work and should parents be allowed to discipline their children that way? 

-The importance of positive follow through after any form of disciplining

-Should parents be friends with their children? 

-How to find the right balance in implementing discipline in the home   

Resources: 

-Let’s connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigchatsmalltalk/  

-Subscribe to be the first to know about new content https://linktr.ee/bigchatsmalltalk 

-Send a Voice Message to Big Chat Small Talk https://www.speakpipe.com/BigChatSmallTalk

It can be argued that today's parents are being urged to encourage their sons to be more emotional and sensitive to the needs of others. When we think of femininity, traits include particular roles in society, stereotypes, behaviours and appearances that are associated with women and girls. The less dominant a boy is deemed to be, the more acceptable he is viewed in society.

The question is: are we encouraging our boys to embrace traits and behaviours traditionally associated with femininity, and can this actually be beneficial to their development?

What is Covered: 

-The changing societal norms for boys and men

-What are the skill sets that make man a man

-The pressure on boys and men to be physically strong

-How emotional openness can benefit men

-Psychological challenges for men in today’s world

-Towards diverse representation of masculinity and femininity in media

-Why challenging rigid gender roles is good for men 

Resources:

-Let’s connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigchatsmalltalk/  

-Subscribe to be the first to know about new content https://linktr.ee/bigchatsmalltalk 

-Send a Voice Message to Big Chat Small Talk https://www.speakpipe.com/BigChatSmallTalk

When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. They will paint a picture of themselves as being the victim in every situation, and make you question truth and reality between your interactions, whilst they seek to boost their ego and perception of self in public. While it can be frightening to be the target of their gaslighting, we live in the belief that what is done in the dark will always come to light.

So this week, we’re talking about the narcissist - with the caveat that we don’t have any specialist knowledge to talk about narcissism, but we’re covering it from a personal and fun perspective. 

What is Covered: 

-Google’s definition of a narcissist

-Narcissistic traits that we all have to some degree

-Why narcissists tend to often appear in the corporate world

-Our experiences with being gaslighted

-How you can recognise and expose a narcissist

-How you can effectively deal with a narcissist

Resources:

-Let’s connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigchatsmalltalk/  

-Subscribe to be the first to know about new content https://linktr.ee/bigchatsmalltalk 

-Send a Voice Message to Big Chat Small Talk https://www.speakpipe.com/BigChatSmallTalk