In this episode, we welcome therapist Dani Fee back to Big Little Lessons for a new conversation about burnout—both in adults and in children—before revisiting our earlier episode with her about navigating big feelings.
Dani helps us broaden our understanding of burnout beyond the workplace. Children can experience burnout too, particularly when they are trying hard to hold everything together, meet expectations, please others, or manage feelings they may not yet know how to express.
We explore why childhood burnout can be easy to overlook. A child may appear responsible, successful, agreeable, or “fine” on the outside while carrying a great deal internally.
Dani discusses how some of the patterns we develop in childhood—perfectionism, people-pleasing, over-functioning, or putting other people’s needs first—can follow us into adulthood.
A recurring theme is the importance of learning to include ourselves: noticing our own needs, limits, emotions, and capacity rather than continually pushing through.
Our conversation naturally connects to Dani’s original Big Little Lessons episode, “Navigating Big Feelings,” where we discussed making room for difficult emotions instead of immediately trying to fix, dismiss, or avoid them.
Revisiting that conversation reminds us that feelings are not problems to eliminate. Learning to notice, name, tolerate, and move through emotions is an important skill for children and adults.
Burnout and emotional regulation are closely connected: when we continually ignore what our bodies and emotions are telling us, eventually something has to give.
Dani encourages parents and adults to become curious about what may be underneath a child’s behavior—and to extend that same curiosity and compassion toward themselves.
We also hear about Dani’s newer Instagram account, @navigatewithdanielle, where she shares reflections on emotional well-being, relationships, burnout, and the patterns we carry with us from childhood.We welcome your feedback. Please email us at [email protected]
Out of respect for our students, we want to note that while the stories we share are real, names have been changed for anonymity. In fact, every student we mention is named “Charlie.” We use that name as a way to honor privacy while still sharing authentic classroom experiences.
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