big sister diaries

Before you listen, I want to be so clear: this isn’t just about hyping you up to do marathon or to take ice baths. Those are great, but they’re not the only hard things that change you.

There’s a lot of other things that nobody will notice (or cheer for!) at first: like going to therapy, or putting yourself out there when you might get rejected, or keeping your promises to yourself even though no one is watching. They’re not as aesthetic and you don’t walk away with a Strava score that you can post on socials - but the ways they change your life matter just as much.

This episode is about learning to rewire our brains so that we actively welcome hard things instead of just tolerate them, and of course the practical tools that have been helping a scaredy cat like me start craving hard things more x

links:

• Dopamine Nation - by Anna Lembke
• Stanford GSB "Last Lecture Series" - Graham Weaver
• Study Writeup - Alia Crum
• Study Writeup - Katy Milkman
• The Power of One More - Ed Mylett

♡ more links! 

• BSD on Instagram
• BSD on Substack
• Danielle on Instagram

Walking down memory lane today through my time as a full time yoga teacher but just know... this one is for anyone who is building something with their name on the door.

Because all the Instagram posts yelling "you are too creative for a 9-5" do have a point - but what they don't talk about is the unromantic side of being your own boss. It's a crash course in self-development, and it will test you more than you could ever have expected.

So today, I want to share seven things I wish someone had told me at the start of my wellness career - and most of them have nothing to do with yoga x

♡ more links! 

• BSD on Instagram
• BSD on Substack
• Danielle on Instagram

As we move through our 20s and into our 30s... I think we've all gone through specific moments when we've outgrowing our old self and we've left old version of ourselves behind. And often, it feels disorientating and awkward and really, really painful. 

But sometimes the hardest part of it is feeling guilty because you used to love your life!!! You used to be so driven to reach for the dreams that you now have... but you're in a place where it doesn't fit the way you thought, and you don't know what's next for you. 

So if you feel like you've outgrown the person you were but you're also not the person you want to be yet - you're not alone xo

Links:

Lady Lady by Olivia Dean

Messy Middle by Scott Belsky

How Emotions Are Made - Lisa Feldman Barrett

Rites of Passage by Arnold Van Gennep

Mountain is You by Brianna Wiest

♡ more links! 

• BSD on Instagram
• BSD on Substack
• Danielle on Instagram

If you've ever held back from something because you were scared of looking like you were trying too hard...this one's for you.

I made this episode because the fear of being cringe kept me small for a longggg time, and it took me most of my 20s to finally realise that the there will always, always be something to be afraid of. 

And at the end of the day... I can either be afraid of embarrassing myself or of wasting my life. 

So here we go!

♡ more links! 

• BSD on Instagram
• BSD on Substack
• Danielle on Instagram

If you were raised to be the good girl - the helpful one, the reliable one, the one who holds everything together - this episode is for you.

Today we're getting into why over-giving isn't the same as being generous, the difference between being nice and being self-abandoning, and the practical tips on setting clean boundaries without blowing up your relationships. 

Links:

• Too Much by Terri Cole
• Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown
• Boundary Boss Scripts by Terri Cole

♡ more links! 

• BSD on Instagram
• BSD on Substack
• Danielle on Instagram

Before you press play... this isn't another episode about motivation!!! Self-sabotage isn't laziness, it isn't a character flaw, and you can't think your way out of it.

It's taken me awhile to learn that self sabotage is the result of something called 'conflicting desires': a clashing between who you consciously want to become and what your subconscious currently believes is safe. Today we're getting into why we are so often our own worst enemy, four sneaky ways we get in our own way, and the concrete steps to start changing those patterns so we can live our best life... without toxic positivity or impractical mansplaining :)

Links:

The Mountain is You by Brianna Wiest

The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks

♡ more links! 

• BSD on Instagram
• BSD on Substack
• Danielle on Instagram

If you identify as a lazy perfectionist too, you're in the right place - because perfectionism always gets talked about like it's a discipline problem: just lock in, push through, stop overthinking, literally just do things! 

But if that advice worked... you'd have done the thing already.

The reality is: you're not lazy or undisciplined, your passions are just triggering your nervous system! And your brain is just doing its best to protect you from being disappointed - so the only way you're going to be able to start doing the things you're afraid of is to work with your subconscious instead of trying to fight it all the time - because the fact that you procrastinate is just proof you actually care x

♡ more links! 

• BSD on Instagram
• BSD on Substack
• Danielle on Instagram

If you've ever said yes when you meant no, changed yourself to match the room, or realised you don't actually know what you like anymore... this one's for you.

I spent wayyy too long trusting other people's opinions more than my own. For years, I stayed in a relationship where I had to constantly tip-toe around his moods. I ran myself ragged trying to please everyone around me, and I let pieces of myself be chipped away until I didn't even know who I was anymore. 

So today we're covering the subtle signs of people pleasing, the psychology behind why we let it happen, and four practical ways to start taking your power back and reminding yourself who tf you are x

Links: Untamed by Glennon Doyle

♡ more links! 

• BSD on Instagram
• BSD on Substack
• Danielle on Instagram