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What happens when a Muay Thai champion decides the real fight isn't in the ring—it's saving boys from the stereotypes that are killing them?

Richie Hardcore knows exactly what happens when boys grow up watching men solve problems with fists and bottles. His father's severe alcoholism and the family violence that came with it could have destroyed him. Instead, it became his mission.

Now, as a White Ribbon ambassador and TEDx speaker, Richie walks into schools across Australia and New Zealand having the conversations most adults are too scared to have. He tells teenage boys it's okay to cry, to feel confused, to not have it all figured out. He works with incarcerated young men through The Rise Above Charitable Trust, showing them the violence can stop with them.

But here's what's keeping me up at night after this conversation: our boys are struggling more than we realize. They're ordering hard drugs via Uber. They're learning about sex from pornography that teaches the opposite of intimacy. They're consuming manosphere content that's gone mainstream—not Andrew Tate anymore (he's "cringe now") but gym influencers and self-help bros peddling the same dangerous messages about what it means to be a man.

And they're desperate for someone to tell them it's okay to take off the mask.

This is essential listening if you're:

• Raising or teaching boys and watching them shut down emotionally
• Worried about gender violence in your community
• Trying to understand what healthy masculinity actually looks like in practice
• Concerned about online radicalization and manosphere influence on young men
• Looking for actual conversations to have with the boys in your life

CONTENT WARNING

This episode contains frank discussions of family violence, alcoholism, substance abuse, sexual violence, domestic abuse, and the impact of pornography on young people. Listener discretion advised.

Resources mentioned - 

• Jess Hill - "⁠See What You Made Me Do" ⁠(book on domestic violence and gender violence)
• Jess Hill -⁠ "Asking For It" ⁠(SBS documentary on consent culture)
• ⁠The Rise Above Charitable Trust ⁠- Richie's organization working with incarcerated youth
• ⁠Our Watch (Australia)⁠ - Gender violence prevention resources

CONNECT WITH RICHIE HARDCORE

⁠On Instagram⁠

⁠On Website⁠

If you enjoyed this episode, please share with just one person. 

Connect with Danielle at [email protected] or on ⁠Instagram⁠

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What happens when a tipsy joke about not being fun anymore cracks a marriage wide open?

A few weeks ago, I sat across from my husband at a café and told him he could leave. Not in anger - in complete pragmatic calm. These are my kids, this is my circus, you don't have to be here. If you want long lunches, freedom, a life without constant teenage conflict - you can have it. I won't hate you. I won't f#ck you over financially.

He laughed awkwardly. Then we both realised I was deadly serious.

This episode is about what led to that conversation - a flippant comment that stung because it was true, two external stories that reframed how I think about relationships ending, and what happened when we stripped away all the obligation and ownership and just asked: are we actively choosing this, or are we just existing in it out of habit?

It's messy. It's vulnerable. It's about grief and boredom and what it means to consciously choose your relationship every single day instead of white-knuckling through the hard bits hoping there's something left at the end.

And it's about rage rooms, sunset picnics, and whether "I'm bored and I don't want this anymore" is actually a valid reason to leave - or to stay and rebuild on purpose.

Key Timestamps

0:00 - Cold open: "You can leave. I won't hate you."
3:08 - The joke that wasn't funny
5:15 - The 30-year marriage that ended over boredom
7:25 - The couple who chose each other in 10-year increments
10:45 - Stripping away the "till death do us part" narrative
12:15 - The get out of jail free card conversation
14:30 - What happened when we talked again
15:45 - Date night reimagined (rage rooms > wine bars)
17:15 - The dinner table tinderbox
19:30 - Three entities: you, them, and the relationship
21:00 - "I don't know if we'll always choose each other"
22:45 - Two thinking points for you

Thinking Points

1. Are you in your relationships because you're actively choosing them - or because you're on autopilot?Romantic, platonic, family - are you there out of desire or habit? What would change if you gave yourself (and them) genuine permission to choose differently?
2. Where in your life are you actively, mindfully choosing to put your energy - and where are you just habitually existing? This applies to relationships, yes, but also careers, thinking patterns, daily routines. What needs conscious choice instead of default mode?

Mentioned in This Episode

• "Less" by Andrew Sean Greer
• Rage rooms as date night activity (highly recommend)

Connect

Find me at daniellecolley.com.au
Share this episode with someone navigating their own relationship crossroads
Drop a comment - I'd love to hear your thoughts on conscious choice vs. default mode in relationships

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Looking for love makes you vulnerable. And vulnerability? That's where shame lives.

Kylee Dennis knows this better than most. When her mum got love scammed after 25 years of being single, the thing that hurt more than the money lost was watching her carry the shame of it—too embarrassed to ask for help, too mortified to admit she'd wanted connection badly enough to believe someone who wasn't real.

Kylee spent nearly 14 years as a detective doing intelligence ops, undercover work, and crisis negotiations. She knew how predators operated. But what she didn't know until her mum's scam was how powerfully shame protects the criminals.

So she went undercover herself—creating fake profiles as a 67-year-old man and a 62-year-old woman to see exactly how scammers weaponize our longing for connection. What she found? Scams aren't about intelligence. They're about manipulation. And the vulnerability that comes with wanting love makes all of us targets.

This isn't just about romance scams. It's about shame, vulnerability, and the cost of staying silent.

Timestamps & Chapters

00:00 - Intro: The Vulnerability of Looking for Love
02:45 - When Kylee's Mum Got Scammed
07:30 - "I Just Feel Stupid": The Language of Shame
12:15 - Going Undercover on Dating Apps
18:40 - What Scammers Really Do (and How They Share Tactics)
24:20 - Life as a Female Detective in the 1980s
32:50 - "Men, Police Dogs, Then Police Women"
38:15 - The Pawn Shop Undercover Operation
43:00 - Identity Loss: From Detective to Stay-at-Home Mum
48:30 - "I Was Just a Plus Guest"
52:10 - Finding Purpose Through Two Face Investigations
56:20 - The Power of Helping Just One Person
58:45 - TikTok Scammer Universities & Dark Rituals
63:15 - Human Trafficking & Scam Compounds in Myanmar
66:40 - "Where Is the Money Going?"
68:30 - How to Stay Safe: Pause, Check, Ask
70:15 - Final Wisdom on Shame & the Vault

Connect with Kylee:

• Instagram: @twofaceinvestigations
• Website: twofaceinvestigations.au

Dating Safety Tips:

1. PAUSE - Look at the profile carefully
2. CHECK - Verify photos using reverse image search
3. ASK - Get a trusted friend or family member to review the profile
4. MEET - Always meet in person in a safe, public location
5. TELL SOMEONE - Keep people in the loop about who you're talking to

If You've Been Scammed:

• Contact your bank immediately
• Report to Scamwatch (Australia): scamwatch.gov.au
• Tell someone you trust—shame thrives in silence

Support the Show

If this episode resonated with you, please:

• Share it with someone who needs to hear it
• Leave a rating and review
• Subscribe so you never miss an episode

Connect with Danielle:

• Website: daniellecolley.com.au
• Instagram: @iamdaniellecolley
• Email: [email protected]

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text

Your body's keeping secrets from you. Not because it wants to hide things, but because you've been taught to ignore, shove down, and repress experiences, thoughts, and feelings you haven't had the time or resources to handle. That knot in your stomach when you say yes but mean no? Your body remembers. The exhaustion you can't explain? Your body is screaming. The anxiety that shows up for "no reason"? Your body has reasons - you're just not listening.

In this Big Stuff summer series episode, host Danielle Colley explores the concept that our bodies don't just keep the score of trauma - they keep the story. Drawing from Bessel van der Kolk's groundbreaking work and somatic psychologist Ailey Jolie's research on women's nervous systems, Danielle weaves together three powerful stories of bodies that refused to be ignored any longer.

Carolyn's hair fell out in clumps, forcing her to redefine identity beyond appearance in an industry obsessed with looks. Danielle shares her own crash at 47 - perimenopause stripping away the coping mechanisms that had hidden undiagnosed ADHD for decades. And Preston O'Brien's body held childhood sexual abuse and decades of shame until he learned that healing wasn't about stopping behaviours - it was about learning to feel again.

This isn't about fixing your body. It's about finally hearing what it's been trying to tell you.

Chapters:

• [00:00] Introduction - Your Body's Keeping Secrets
• [03:40] Carolyn Ozkoseoglu - When Your Hair Falls Out in Clumps
• [08:25] Autoimmune Diseases and the Stress Connection
• [11:30] The Betrayal of Changing Bodies (Pregnancy, Aging, Illness)
• [15:20] Danielle's Panic Attack - Body Keeping Score After Mum's Death
• [18:45] The Crash at 47 - Not Wanting to Get Out of Bed
• [22:30] Perimenopause Unmasking ADHD After 47 Years
• [26:15] Preston O'Brien - Pinky the Teddy Bear and Childhood Trauma
• [30:40] How the Body Stores Trauma (Whiskey, Tobacco, Sensory Memories)
• [34:20] Women's Bodies Keep the Story, Not Just the Score
• [37:50] Learning to Listen - What Is Your Body Trying to Tell You?

Total Episode Time: 41:15

Guests Featured:

• Carolyn Ozkoseoglu (Alopecia journey)
• ⁠Preston O'Brien⁠ (⁠The Triumphant Man⁠ -Men's mental health advocate, trauma survivor)

Resources Mentioned:

• "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk
• Ailey Jolie (British somatic psychologist on women's nervous systems)
• ACE Test (Adverse Childhood Experiences)
• The Chocolate Bar Life by Danielle Colley

Connect: If your body has been screaming and you've been ignoring it, reach out to a trusted friend, or seek professional advice to get a plan for next steps. 

Contact Danielle to learn about the work she does and see if it's right for you. 

[email protected]

or ⁠@iamdaniellecolle⁠y

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"Everything happens for a reason" - sometimes those words feel like a punch in the gut when you're drowning in grief, fear, or anger. But what if there's a different way to look at life's hardest moments that doesn't feel like toxic positivity?

In this Big Stuff summer series episode, host Danielle Colley weaves together four powerful stories that explore whether life happens TO us or FOR us. From comedian Jordana Borensztajn bombing so badly on a cruise ship she called it "the floating prison of shame," to Imogen Carn losing her mum to suicide and channeling her rage into The Grief Files podcast that's helped hundreds of thousands, to Vashti Whitfield losing her husband Andy at 39 and reframing tragedy, to Preston O'Brien's rock bottom becoming his greatest gift.

This isn't about pretending everything is fine or denying pain. It's about trust. About redirects versus failures. About the difference between giving up and letting go. It's about asking "what can I create from this?" instead of "why is this happening to me?"

Danielle also shares her own journey through her father's death that redirected her entire career, and her current navigation of her mother's recent death - the wreckage, the gifts hidden in grief, and learning to trust the redirect even when you can't see where it's going.

Chapters:

• [00:00] Introduction - The Problem With "Everything Happens For A Reason"
• [02:45] Jordana's Floating Prison of Shame
• [07:20] Creativity as Resilience - What's the Next Best Thing?
• [10:15] Imogen Carn - Losing Mum to Suicide
• [14:30] The Investigation and The Light
• [16:45] "It's Something You Have to Find For Yourself"
• [18:20] Danielle's Wreckage After Dad's Death
• [21:40] Vashti Whitfield - This Is Happening TO Us AND FOR Us
• [25:10] Can We Say Mum's Death Is Happening FOR Me?
• [28:35] Preston O'Brien - Becoming the Inspiration He Was Looking For
• [30:50] Four Redirects - What Can You Create From This?
• [33:20] Final Reflection - Trust the Redirect

Guests Featured:

• ⁠Jordana Borensztajn (Communications expert, author of The Little Book of Influence)⁠
• ⁠Imogen Carn (Co-host of Good Mourning podcast)⁠
• ⁠Vashti Whitfield (Transformational facilitator, co-creator of Be Here Now documentary)⁠
• ⁠Preston O'Brien (Men's mental health advocate, founder Triumphant Man)⁠

Connect: If this episode helped you see your challenges differently, share it with someone navigating their own redirect. Tell us about a time something you thought was happening TO you turned out to be happening FOR you.

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text

A listener wrote in feeling completely torn apart by the weight of expectations. Family expectations, societal expectations, and the brutal “shoulds” we place on ourselves.

In this How Are You Really? episode of Big Stuff, Danielle unpacks what it costs us when we say yes to someone else’s vision… and no to our own. Whether your dream is travelling the world, changing careers, choosing not to have kids, leaving a relationship, studying later in life, or stepping out of the role everyone assigned you, this episode is about reclaiming your one big, bold, beautiful life.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why expectations are often rooted in love (and still feel suffocating)
• The difference between aligned choices vs paying the imaginary debt of expectation
• Why you’re not choosing between two options — you’re choosing between two identities
• The #1 regret of the dying (from The Five Regrets of the Dying by Bonnie Ware)
• How to share your truth with love, ask people to trust you, and stop abandoning yourself
  
  

If you’ve been feeling “confused,” this might be the truth:
You’re not confused about what you want, you’re questioning whether you’re allowed to want it.

People will be okay if you live your own life… but will you be okay if you don’t?

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

00:15 Listener's Dilemma: The Weight of Expectations

03:53 Unpacking Family and Societal Expectations

08:19 The Importance of Self-Permission

11:30 Living True to Yourself: Lessons from the Dying

15:06 Navigating Personal Choices and Expectations

22:26 The Role of Self-Worth and Success

30:26 Final Thoughts and Season Wrap-Up

Connect with Danielle:

See her website - https://daniellecolley.com.au/

But the Chocolate Bar Life book - https://www.thechocolatebarlife.com.au/buy-book

Find her on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/iamdaniellecolley/ 

Connect on Facebook - https://web.facebook.com/IAmDanielleColley/?_rdc=1&_rdr#

Watch on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@iamdaniellecolley 

Check out her substack - https://substack.com/@iamdaniellecolley?utm_source=user-menu 

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text

Jordana Borensztajn, a comedian, communication expert and mentalist, joins the show to share how her most humiliating moments became the fuel for her career. From bombing so badly on a cruise ship that an elderly passenger told her to get off while she was still at sea, to being escorted off Facebook’s campus in a giant Like costume, Jordana reveals how comedy, curiosity and creativity helped her transform embarrassment into influence and resilience.

In this episode, we explore the surprising psychology behind stage presence, why humor can be healing and the grounding techniques that help calm nerves before high-stakes moments. Jordana also breaks down mentalism’s insights on human connection, the 4-2-4 breathing method and how following joy, not perfection, is the secret to authentic communication. This conversation is a must-listen for anyone facing fear of judgment, imposter syndrome or the pressure to perform.

Connect with Jordana Borensztajn:

Website: jordanab.com.au

Instagram: @jordanaborensztajn

Book Website: littlebooks.biz

00:00 Introduction to the Floating Prison of Shame

00:30 Meet Jordana Borensztajn: From Journalist to Comedian

02:06 The Challenge of Standup Comedy

03:49 The Worst Date Ever: A Comedy Catalyst

05:22 The Healing Power of Laughter

07:58 The Floating Prison of Shame: A Cruise Ship Disaster

12:07 Lessons from Bombing on Stage

14:27 The Importance of Authentic Connection

16:46 Embracing the Messy and Chaotic

17:19 The Power of Imagination and Play

23:16 Discovering Mentalism During Lockdown

25:09 The Magic of Mentalism and Human Connection

32:30 The Quest to Meet Mark Zuckerberg

33:42 The Giant Costume Quest Begins

34:24 Meeting Tech Icons at Dallas Digital Summit

35:01 The Facebook Headquarters Adventure

35:25 Facing Fear and Embracing the Experience

38:12 The Aftermath and Realizations

40:45 Grounding Techniques for Public Speaking

48:17 Resilience and Creativity in Comedy

52:49 Visionaries and Overcoming Fear

56:50 The Power of Joy and Embracing Mistakes

59:59 Concluding Thoughts and Future Plans

01:02:18 Final Reflections and Podcast Outro

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text

In this deeply personal episode recorded only weeks after her mother’s death through voluntary assisted dying, Danielle shares the raw reality of grief, far beyond the familiar sadness people expect. She opens up about dissociation at work events, emotional numbness, and the biological impact of loss on the brain and body, from the amygdala to the mitochondria. This conversation explores what grief actually feels like, why it isn’t linear, and why “being strong” can sometimes do more harm than good.

Whether you’re grieving yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode offers a compassionate blend of science, lived experience, and practical tools for navigating loss. Danielle unpacks cultural discomfort around sadness, the truth behind emotional “rewiring,” and the idea that grief is a form of love.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

00:46 Dealing with Grief: Personal Experiences

01:49 The Science of Grief

05:01 Navigating Life Amidst Grief

08:50 Coping Mechanisms and Support

12:14 The Emotional Rollercoaster of Grief

26:45 Public Displays of Grief and Cultural Perspectives

29:23 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Connect with Danielle: 

See her website - https://daniellecolley.com.au/

But the Chocolate Bar Life book - https://www.thechocolatebarlife.com.au/buy-book

Find her on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/iamdaniellecolley/ 

Connect on Facebook - https://web.facebook.com/IAmDanielleColley/?_rdc=1&_rdr#

Watch on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@iamdaniellecolley 

Check out her substack - https://substack.com/@iamdaniellecolley?utm_source=user-menu 

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text

In this powerful episode divorce coach and founder of Women's Divorce Academy, Carolyn Tate, shares the heartbreaking yet inspiring journey of supporting her son Connor through a life-threatening crisis that ultimately revealed his truth which changed their lives forever. 

Carolyn and host, Danielle Colley, explore the reality of parenting through fear, confusion, and impossible choices where trusting your child matters more than fully understanding them. The conversation also explores on the emotional toll of divorce, co-parenting challenges, and the loneliness of navigating crisis in silence.

Carolyn explains how her darkest chapters became the foundation for the Women’s Divorce Academy, helping hundreds of women through one of life's other huge transitions - separation and divorce. 

Together, she and Danielle discuss medical support for transgender youth, practical survival tools like 'grey-rocking' and the Perspex box visualization, and the transformative power of choosing belief, compassion, and community. This episode is a reminder that the hardest moments of life can become the wisdom someone else needs.

Connect with Carolyn:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/womensdivorceacademy/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/womensdivorceacademy
Website: www.womensdivorceacademy.com

00:00 A Mother's Nightmare Begins

00:26 Introducing Carolyn Tate

02:18 The Turning Point: Connor's Revelation

02:34 A Conversation on the Big Green Couch

03:19 The Perfect Storm: Carolyn's Struggles

04:06 Connor's Mental Health Battle

08:28 The Journey of Acceptance

16:48 The Transition Process

21:07 Support Systems and Challenges

26:44 Life After Top Surgery

35:03 Turning Pain into Purpose

38:03 Embracing a Clean Slate

38:37 Navigating Post-Breakup Challenges

39:06 Rebuilding and Finding Optimism

40:02 Support Networks and Positivity

41:27 Dealing with Difficult Exes

48:42 The Power of Community

50:34 Reflecting on Personal Growth

55:09 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text

What happens when you stop apologising for your choices with one tiny word? 

Lisa Schweighoffer went from saying "I'm just a stay-at-home mom" to co-founding Boost Lab, the irreverent skincare brand that's disrupting beauty by refusing to take itself too seriously.

In this raw conversation, Lisa shares how just one single word was shrinking her presence and what it was like to build an international business after 10 years at home with kids. 

And we go deeper than this, as a busy and successful mum, Lisa also dives deep into the reason her medical hysterectomy at 48 came with zero menopause information, and the ultimate partnership secret that makes 30+ year marriages actually thrive. 

From testing products on speedboats to dancing on Instagram and building a very successful business, Lisa proves that the most confident founders aren't those who take everything seriously, they're those who know exactly what deserves their attention, leaving them free to approach everything else with humour and joy.

Resource List - Books:

• Dr. Mary Claire Haver - "The New Menopause" (Lisa says it "literally changed my life")
• Dr. Michael Mosley - "Just One Thing"

Podcast:

• Brené Brown - "Unlocking Us" (episode with Dr. Mary Claire Haver on perimenopause and bone health)

Where to find Lisa -

Instagram - ⁠@lisaschway⁠ and ⁠@boostlabco⁠

Website -⁠ Boost Lab⁠

0:00 - Introduction: The power of removing "just" from your vocabulary

4:00 - The New Zealand leap: Moving countries with three kids under four

10:00 - The reality of stay-at-home motherhood: isolation, sacrifice, and chosen family

17:00 - The "never just" breakthrough: Removing one word that was making her smaller

22:00 - "You're choosing what you don't change": Life philosophy on making empowered choices

26:00 - From hammers to beauty: The unexpected entrepreneurial journey

30:00 - Why Boost Lab does skincare differently: Concern-led, not ingredient-led

35:00 - 15 years of bleeding: The health journey no one talks about

38:00 - Medical gaslighting: When doctors fail women in perimenopause

40:00 - Self-advocacy: How Lisa armed herself with information and changed everything

43:00 - The HRT conversation: "If your doctor doesn't listen, find another one"

44:00 - Partnership gold: How she and Craig work as a true team

48:00 - Being "just the fun face" and learning to own your value

51:00 - Practical wisdom: Bone health, heavy lifting, and preparing for the next chapter

52:00 - Stop watching the news: Protecting your nervous system

54:00 - Lisa's tips for happy living: HRT, lift heavy, laugh at yourself, whiskey