so I'm reading an article written by Tom Wooten about how there are advantages in bipolar and it's no longer about if their advantage is but why their advantages and how there are advantages and if you've been watching any of my videos I've talked quite a bit already about my own personal experience and how I feel that a lot of it is advantageous and and also why that is so for me it's not a question of if personally so it's only been recent in actual scientific inquiry that there are advantages and I guess maybe it's not that recent because there's that book called a first-rate madness and one of the people featured in this article actually wrote that book and I have that book and I've never read it I'm not sure why I think it just seems so wordy and I guess all books are actually birdie but just the formatting and everything it just didn't jive with my brain so I never got that interested in it Tom wrote an article about these distinguished panelists who gave a presentation in their research about the research into why people with bipolar disorder tend to exhibit advantages in some parts of their life so the fact of the matter is that they do exhibit advantages in some parts of their life and they're trying to figure out why if they want to look for some possible hypotheses they can watch my videos or I might actually contact them tell them the first lady cherie johnson says people with bipolar disorder tend to work harder towards their goals and refuse to give up long after normal people do and will why could this be one thing I can think of off the top of my head is that maybe people with so called bipolar disorder have goals that are more in alignment with the actual universe and not just personal greedy little goals and even if their goals are maybe a bit more self-centered they might actually have very positive intentions with their goals so it could be the intentions as well because there's no point in working super hard towards complete meaninglessness so I feel people with bipolar disorder often have a connection to a meaning greater than their own personal ego gratification or maybe they do connect with meaning towards their ego personal gratification but they actually feel meaning in that versus most people have just a sense of meaninglessness in their lives so I feel people with the bipolar disorder connect with meaning some kind of meaning and then you think well why do they connect with meaning well to me there's an ego scrambling process of some sort it weakens the ego it can actually manifest as apparently appearing as a stronger ego but to me that's actually just connecting with passion behind the meaning of something even if it's maybe a personal thing but a person becomes way more passionate because they've connected with something in themselves that's beyond the ego fear defense mechanisms that think so I can't do this or I shouldn't do this so one also connects with that ability that energy because that ego structure has lost its hold and it's grab and since a person I've talked about before isn't thinking in this self-reflexive destructive circular way it's not wasting that energy it's like if a person was thinking that way you know the water just goes around the paddles and sort of spreads everywhere and it's a waste of energy it dissipates energy and a person is able to channel energy in a certain way perhaps because there's more meaning and passion behind that so a person might actually seem more like they have more of an ego but they don't necessarily it could be whatever the energy is that is driving them is creating that manifestation of themselves as passionate and you know not going to put up with someone's crap and they're just going to go about doing what they know they need to do and a lot of people they say with bipolar disorder succeed in say management because they don't have that ego sense so much and they are sensitive to other people so they know what they need to do in order to empower people and get them to to be motivated and and or and do the work so it's a sensitivity to that and this lady also is wondering like why people are more successful well I again the energy that's driving the success is something beyond personal ego success it's usually for a grade or something it might not even be the person might not even have the intention of the great or something but their energy is from that perspective so it naturally gets channeled in that way which can then be perceived as success and they talk about it in terms of impulsivity as well and for some reason people that take immediate action are seen as impulsive just because they don't have this noise in their prefrontal cortex blocking them from actually taking immediate action they're seen as impulsive and I wouldn't necessarily say that they're just not abstracting about reality as much as they are acting in the field of reality which would also lead to more so-called success the next person Terrance keter studies the link between creativity and bipolar disorder and I've already talked about how to me a person in mania is restored to their childlike energetic learning consciousness state and so it's just naturally creative and we're born naturally creative and then it's programmed out of us and then certain people go in and out of that state and then it said to be some mysterious thing when we have this innate capacity within us people with us so called mood disorder are are the ones that have it even more so because what happens is when the ego gets scrambled by this energy when the ego scrambled were naturally more creative or when the ego is temporarily suspended then we're naturally more creative and then a person is said to have a mood disorder because when they're coming down from that or when the ego is sort of Rima T realizing and getting in the way one can be kind of grumpy because they're losing that that state so I don't think a person necessarily has a disordered mood as much as one's going in and out of this creative state and it's it's a little bit disorienting if you were in the middle of painting some amazing work and then all of a sudden that that was going away and then somebody comes in and says he'll was time for dinner you might get kind of grumpy the book of first-rate madness written by Monsieur gamay talks about the surprising link between mental illnesses and leadership you got to be kind of crazy to think you can lead people to do something so that's one of the benefits of crazy and maybe being a little bit delusional in thinking that you can actually change the world now the ego mind doesn't think oh I can change the world it's just thinking about what's for dinner so something else has to come into play which is the weakening of the ego which is usually attributed to a mental illness because one is no longer just thinking in linear terms of being a functional cog in the machine of society one is looking at different ways of being in different ways of expressing oneself in different ways of thinking and possibilities the ego mind doesn't think in possibility so I really don't feel that mental illnesses are illnesses per se as much as they just appear like illnesses because one isn't functioning the way that we've been conditioned to function it's just like being impotently maladjusted dr. Martin Luther King talked about being creatively maladjusted well if we aren't able to be creatively maladjusted sometimes we get maladjusted by the universe and if we don't understand what's happening and don't know how to harvest it and harness it and move toward it and get in alignment with it and surf the wave of the universe if the universe energy is coming in and directing us and guiding us in animating us and we're used to our little ego consciousness animating us well that's like that's like going from learning to drive a car to being expected to take a rocket to the moon without any lessons so it's quite difficult just because somebody sits inside a rocket ship doesn't make them an astronaut and just because a person who is in touch with that energy the universe and doesn't know how to navigate doesn't make them mentally ill it's just not knowing how to operate that way and then unfortunately usually we have funneled into a chemical prison or a chemical ego band-aid when the ego is losing its hold on us and that's one of the purpose of this energy coming in as for the ego to lose hold on us so we will look around so we will do things differently so we will alter the structure of society because it's not fair and it's not just and there are so many people suffering and we don't realize that the people that are suffering r us and he also asks why bipolar is associated with so many positive outcomes while at the same time causing such devastation well if you think about it bipolar again is a suspended ego state so when one's in that state one is not thinking about the consequences to oneself it's all or nothing it's like how Steven Kotler talks about somebody riding a huge wave and surfing and if they make just the slightest error they could die well when this energy wave of the universe comes in through somebody and is animating them it's not animating them as in the normal consciousness as in oh well I better think about this and ponder about this for 10 years before I do it no it's action now and each little micro decision leads to the next and it's not a decision made by the ego consciousness it's made by the universe and it's almost like the universe is making us surf its wave in daily life and some of us surf it even though we've never done it before and some of us fall flat on her face and some of us died and some of us break into a million pieces and have to be put back together again and and that's a thing is it is a catastrophic thing it's it's not it's not this safe little thing and we've created these little safe lifes for ourselves with our little ego mind directing us and keeping us safe and that energy comes in through us and channels through us and we don't have a choice it's going to make us surf that wave and it's kind of I don't know if it's luck of the draw or what but it's just a wave it doesn't that wave doesn't necessarily care about if it devastates our ego life it's actually trying to break up our ego life so even if it is a catastrophic failure it's still a success for the universe because it's broken up an ego into a million pieces and it's unfortunate that so many of us just end up medicalized for the rest of our lives but you know if we could really see what was happening even if we did crash into a million pieces we would begin the process of putting ourselves back together again just like Humpty Dumpty bipolar is kind of like Humpty Dumpty syndrome and Tom works on the how aspect of how to create positive outcomes for people with bipolar and he offers a course and he does some really great work and what I would like to work on and I already am working on it and I happened for quite some time is I feel there is a universal energy behind the process and I say that because when a person starts experiencing these waves of energy and this cycle from up to down it's not something a person can necessarily[Music] control and Tom talks about that and he talks about how we can't control it so we may as well learn how to understand it and work with it and so in that way it's a process of the universe it's something like we're all a part of the universe we're not separate from it we're in it we are it and so this energy comes in and animates us in different ways it doesn't change us into some other species no it animates us as human beings in ways that human beings act at one time or another in their life so it doesn't really add anything necessarily new to the spectrum of possible behaviors per se you know maybe the delusion stuff but that's definitely part of the learning process because even children have so called delusions and and aren't quite sure about how reality works and have unfounded fears just like that happens again in bipolar disorder in in mania and psychosis and to me that kind of proves the whole not proofs but it's just another element that the ego is suspended or kind of deleted or totally messed because a person goes back to thinking there's monsters in the closet which is sort of the pre ego state of a young child so it's reality testing all over again and it's like wanting us to learn this energy wants us to learn it is learning itself is learning about itself it is itself it's a self learning process about itself and so it sort of throws everything one knows for a loop everything from gravity to you know should I just pee on the floor to anything so it just opens up that entire spectrum of possibilities of degrees of freedom of human behavior and possibility and unfortunately not always does that lead us to do the best things but sometimes it does lead us to do to do good things but the same with the ego consciousness people in ego consciousness can do bad things or they can do good things so this other state of consciousness isn't necessarily different in that it can produce so-called bad or so-called good which is actually an ego judgment in that state if there was nobody to really look on and judge I don't know if you wouldn't necessarily say kid peeing on the floor is bad like it's it's annoying you have to clean it up but kids pee on the floor well maybe adults who forget about that rule pee on the floor too and they forget about a lot of rules and maybe we do need to forget the rules of society and create some new ones from scratch I think that's what this energy is getting out a little bit and and that's the part that I am curious about focusing on is more about the root more about the relational aspect of these states of consciousness how it's trying to get us to be animated in certain ways and what could that mean so it's one thing to say Oh a person a personal person is successful and they have bipolar temperament bipolar consciousness and look how successful they are well you can look at it as personal success and I feel this energy is coming on in order to animate a person to be relationally successful so to bring out the success and others to to have certain spontaneous social behaviors that will alter the fabric of society so a person that's a leader and there happen to be bipolar and they're successful well they're not successful in a vacuum necessarily if they're leading a company or something like that they're having effect on the people that are working for them and with them so to me that's relational so they must have somehow harnessed this energy and I feel that the energy the purpose of it is to make it relational so somebody's leading company that's actually making it relational so that would be to me in alignment with what the energy is trying to achieve so if that energy is animating somebody as bipolar with that temperament and then they're able to lead a company that energy was successful it's not about necessarily that person being successful that might be a byproduct and maybe a person at certain states in their consciousness cycle feels I'm personally successful and then maybe other times the person feels like I'm doing good for the world and that's what matters so we don't necessarily know what the driving force and the intention is behind that person and the thing too is that that energy when it comes is so powerful it has to go somewhere and if a person is able and in a position in their life already where they can channel it into it being relational in a company then then that's great that's amazing because that's going to create channels places for that energy to go you know if a person has an idea and an insight and they're working in a company where they can share and utilize that insight in order for it to be spread in the company to actually make that idea come alive with them not having to do it themselves because that's the thing bipolar 2 is a person will have a lot of ideas and insights so if they have a place to utilize them they're not going to feel like they're getting squashed and crushed by all the ideas and not able to utilize them whereas if they're in a place where they can throw that out there and the thing too is a lot of the ideas are really good so if they have a bunch of employees who can mirror back like oh yeah that's a good idea no that's not great and then a person can work on that project that the successful leader thought of then they're actually bringing out the best and other people and getting them to sort of level up to the the level of the idea and the innovation and it's just I can see how it would create quite a buzz so to me it actually is important for a person to to have that and the trouble is when it happens really young a person doesn't have that yet or if it happens when a person still in school then maybe it's a bit difficult to get back on track yeah I don't know I think that's the thing with my ideas my suppose it ideas i don't i don't have a company yet i think i'm going to start one but even if i do start one I don't necessarily have employees that can help create some of the ideas that I'm having but maybe I will one day but I feel I have a lot I feel like I have a lot of ideas and something that something that I thought of the other day was along the lines of maybe making some videos on my process of whatever it is that I want to create as a business because maybe it would help more people that have bipolar channel something towards creating a business or also if I talk about bunch of my ideas then somebody else can actually start a business on that idea instead of me actually having to have my own company with a million employees what's more exciting to me is actually talking about ideas and harvesting ideas and co-creating some kind of vision it's almost like having say a hundred people that experienced this type of consciousness bouncing ideas off each other and then maybe an idea somebody else resonates more with me doing than my own idea and vice versa really to me it's about some kind of open business project talking about business even though I'm not really in business yet and in that way changing business from this like oh I got this good idea and I got a hoard it and and and plan it for the next ten years and then just talking and just thinking together on stuff just to make the world better because that's really what matters in the end is is the world and so this is more in alignment with with my feelings about this energy and how this energy is to be made relational and it's for the world and it's to create the spontaneous social behavior so this behavior would be talking openly about my ideas I don't really I'm not saying they're the greatest ideas in the world I'm just saying this idea is about talking about idea instead of waiting and sort of creating a business it's like creating now like this very second and not delaying and and I even thought I'm just going to start a business and I'm not even going to have a plan and it's just I'm my business I don't know what I'm doing you know how can I help you or whatever and just go from there like I do have visions of what I want to create actually I saw this piece of paper and I'm not going to show you a dress stuff but I have his address and i met this guy named shane and he was nearly homeless and he told me to create the dream center which was a place for homeless people to go to get sober whatever and restore their dignity and find meaningful work and I don't know how I would go about that but I feel like it could be for almost anyone who needs it even say people that were diagnosed with mental illness I'd like to see people diagnosed with mental illness who don't really think that's their paradigm to be restored to learning and moving towards their dreams that maybe they saw in some of their altered states of consciousness and I don't know I was thinking about this dream center project and I was thinking that besides the whole building aspect where each a dream center we reach of Center of dreams we each have visions we each have dreams and so the first step in the dream center project for me it would just be a Dream Center myself and have my visions in my heart and bring out the best in people so the best of my ability in the moment and and maybe reconnect them with their dreams and reconnect them with their vision just being able to see with their heart as opposed to just seeing with their ego eyes which is mostly lies so I gotta go find Shane and maybe I'll do video trying to find Shane and I don't know I'm not sure about that it's been a while because I mentioned before in other videos how when i dissociate and disconnect from reality i often feel like I'm a homeless man and so I feel like that's either my next life or it's a parallel life or you know we're all just one consciousness and it's just sort of connecting me with another conscious experience because our brains can tap into anything especially when our ego is dissociated from so I often go to that place and not often but I've been there a few times where I feel like I'm a homeless man and I felt the pain of it only for a brief period of time was very intense and so I feel like that's giving me a reminder it's like trying to remind me that I am that too and I'm out there suffering right now even though you know I don't feel it most of the time but sometimes I connect with that suffering and it's difficult to know what to do and that's part of embodying my mania is actually moving towards just being action being action-oriented and not sitting here thinking about stuff and I do sit here and think about stuff for sure but I feel I feel helpless I feel like I need some sort of vehicle like like a business or something and I'm thinking of starting my business on january first just so it's a new tax year and it's less to think about for this year and today is November is November fourth so I've about two months to just keep making videos which are more theoretical in a way and thinking I'll get up to about 100 hours of video and I don't know I could put it on youtube or offer it as some kind of online course I have no idea but but basically my main thing is making this manic energy relational it's one thing to think okay I have this manic energy how can i make my life successful and in doing that a lot of times especially with that energy and from that perspective of a bipolar which usually connects one with their heart at some point and some sense of altruism that's the thing to like I could get connected with altruism and then devise some kind of scheme in my mind to make it make me really really wealthy yet it's very altruistic so and then I would be seen as successful personally successful but at the same time my motivation wasn't personal success at all and that's one of my things as I keep thinking more and more stuff and I'm like where to start and so maybe come January first I'm just going to start I'm just going to take action I'm just going to start at the business and I'm just going to do the whole life coach thing and just start being a spontaneous social behavior in a positive social contagion and a cognitive dissonance heart resonance and I feel that is the success of the energy of mania is in making it relational and I'm actually quite interested in the work of patch Adams so if I had a chance i would probably go to one of his classes because what he does is kind of its super altruistic and and I feel like sort of the principles of clowning and improv are in alignment with with mania and I actually don't feel like oh I need to study improv and clowning because when that energy comes I'm just naturally that way and I think people are naturally that way but perhaps having a few different ways to channel that energy might be beneficial or even just ways to to compare it so a person could practice clowning for ten years and and look kind of like someone that's in mania perhaps or someone could be in mania for five minutes for the first time and be like a clown so some of the human constructs are actually quite congruent with this energy so you know the concept of flow or maybe the practice of clowning or practice of improv now I would stink it improv and I could probably take a class for a long time and learn it but I feel like in daily life I am mostly in improv state and it's not thinking oh I'm improvising but it's just being in the moment so in that way I feel like I kind of have improv and daily life a little bit probably could be better with the yes and and things like that and that is a lens that could be adopted as well for this purpose and so yeah there's lots there but that's the bid I'd like to add to what Tom's doing I think tom is doing a great thing is really important and I feel like I wouldn't do the same thing he's doing because that would be pointless he's already doing it what i would do is really what I've been talking about in all these videos until I recently read his article that made me realize that he's actually one of the people out there that really sees that there are benefits to being bipolar and he even says I am bipolar then people say oh you're stigmatizing yourself but he's saying well I see it as a benefit as a good thing so for you to say I should be upset about that is actually stigmatizing so people are if people were able to learn to function as bipolar then they wouldn't self stigmatized and so they wouldn't get offended if somebody says you are bipolar versus thing you have bipolar disorder because tom saying if you say I have bipolar disorder you're saying you have an illness or you have a disorder or eat something's wrong whereas if you are bipolar and you own it and you can operate as that and use the advantages and and work so the disadvantages are very very very minimal that then it's not really a bad thing and and I like the way he talks about that so i would i would like to go back to saying i am bipolar when before I've been saying oh I not sure if I have a mental illness I'm not sure if I bipolar disorder but I could say I am bipolar I have that up and down perspective I have that consciousness and and for the most part I have it in order and so I I see it more as an advantage than a disadvantage there are things sometimes that it's gotten out of control for me so I haven't I haven't been able to get it completely in order but it's never been even if I go into the disorder and the awfulness which i have several times I'm able to bounce out of it pretty quick and when I'm able to do that I soon forget the disadvantage I move on I don't live in fear of it even though it can be pretty bad and I have had some hints of the disadvantage coming up recently but I've been able to really be watchful of them and be mindful and and talk to people and make sure that I'm able to stay in order as Tom would say so he says bipolar in order and i would say bipolar in order for what in order for what i would say in order to connect with one's altruism and make it relational that energy has to go somewhere it can't be kept to oneself and it's so powerful that the more one channels it somewhere the better and so I would say tom is already doing this because he's created this great program called bipolar in order and he's teaching and he's doing so many things with his life so he's got it in order and he's channeling that energy he's talking to people he's helping people so what I'm saying is what he's doing is part of what I'm saying is a missing piece I'm not saying it's a missing piece in his program because you might talk about it I don't know I don't remember but once a person is able to maintain their personal safety one has to realize that one is going to be riding the wave of the universe as the universe for the universe and so the more one can connect with one's altruism with ones cause with what one saw what one got passionate about so you know it's called a mood disorder while you get moody because you get passionate about stuff and if you get mad about stuff personally it's because the person's getting in the way of you being passionate about something and you know maybe it's being channeled in in ways that aren't healthy or and the thing is the first time somebody connects with that it's it's hard to to be in an ordered state and I don't think it's actually a disordered state I just think it's not the order of the ego so that's another thing that is thing different to it's bipolar in order well it's the order of the universe it's it's an order that is scrambling the ego so it's the ego is disorder itself but we don't realize that and then this energy of the universe this order of the universe comes in and scrambles that up but yet we're bumping up against the reality of ego thought which is the collective society that we're usually a prison of and it's trying to break us out of that prison and it appears as disorder so I wouldn't say that the energy of a person even when they're in the disordered state is an energy of disorder it's not it just appears as disorder because this whole reality is designed in a way that's not congruent with the universe and the universe energy comes in and and shows that and so you know that's why person will be like I got to get rid of all this stuff and I got to buy all this new stuff and it's just as trying to create something totally different a person is in the creative state and it might not manifest in all these healthy ways because a person will be like I'm going to buy everything and because a person feels so abundant that how can one ever be in a state of lack like all is here and now so and that's the truth as as the universe would say but that's not the truth necessarily in the ego reality so it's a it's a difficult lesson the first time for sure but one can definitely get in some semblance of order and that's the part that it's important to to get into oneself in order in order to function in this society that we've created but I also believe that this energy part of the point of it is to start to change society so to only get back into order in order to appease everyone around us and please everyone around us and function again in society even though our energy is like tearing us apart inside yet we're able to smile and nod and go about our day I think that's missing the point a little bit too that's kind of like building up Hercule and strength in order to walk across the street it's it's it's missing the point a little bit so there's a few things in there that I've said that are different the energy is the order of the universe it appears is disordered when one's ego is being blown apart when one's false structures are being blown apart it appears as disorder and it's going to reorder that person's life and or even if a person falls flat on their face because they're in disorder if one was just to create one's life again in the exact same disorder it's going to create the exact same thing because one in one's life situation was what was the precondition for that to happen and that's trying to break it apart it's trying to free the person so to just plunk one's self down in the same old prison in the same away and then just try to manage is it's good it's a good point to do but at the same time it's also about what is that she trying to get me to change what is that energy trying to get me to be in alignment with with my own ego and with the society and I'm not saying that I'm saying it's actually really valuable to be able to you know control oneself no matter the state one is in that's very beneficial but then from that strength what was it that that energy initially wanted you to do still go back to what I was trying to create and what I'm going to create which is harvest germania so for me I was talking about Shane and how I met Shane and he said create the Dream Center well I could be completely readapted and in order in my life and in society as it's designed comfortable again you know managing my states and behaviors and just again be a cog in the machine or i could think well now that i'm an order and now that I'm strong and now that I've you know spent two years getting myself able to still behave properly when this energy overcomes me so I don't rip someone's head off and that is of no advantage at all well now I can think back to what it was that the universe wants me to do and even though I'm not having the wonderful reward of hi pleasure response thinking about it or moving towards it i'm still going to move towards in i'm still going to create it i'm still going to do whatever i can do those ways that mania was trying to animate me in that universe of the energy the spontaneous social behaviors i'm still going to move towards that i'm going to practice that I'm not just going to practice you know making myself feel better and sort of move back and forth in this energy and ride that wave I'm also going to practice moving with it and moving as it and not just thinking oh I'm getting a bit more energy so it's time to nip it in the butt thinking I'm going to have a bit more energy so i'm going to go downtown and give sandwiches to the homeless which is something i would probably do in mania so what would a manic person do can I still do that without that energy can i embody that can I make that relational can I make that energy relational even when I don't have the energy and I think that's part of the you know test in a way because it's easy to do it when the energies there when that huge wave is there it's easy to do it it makes us do it and we are it and we're enjoying it and we're in the state of joy by being that and doing that now can we do that still without the energy without the reward do we have to be a salivating dog in order to do that stuff and I don't think so so to become in order just to be cozy again again defeats the purpose because the initial wave of energy was anything but cozy and it was saying get off your butt and do something I don't care what it is do something because sitting and thinking about something is zero power compared to the infinite power of a simple smile so here I'm here I am sitting on my butt talking about this but that's why I'm not going to release this until I've done something that would just be silly and so I've already experienced the process of being overtaken and animated by the energy and I was out there doing stuff every day but it was disordered so it was I was in the order the energy was the order of the universe but I was disordered in my being able to make it relational and act it out and share it so back to these people who are successful they're able to embody it make it relational share it I would bet that they wouldn't say that people with bipolar are like successful chess players probably not i don't think that energy would let us just sit and play chess it's going to make us go and relate and i would think that a lot of the successful leaders are the type that have to relate and some way and it's that that energy that that charisma of the universe that makes them successful and makes people maybe follow them in a certain way or or want to work for them and with them and it could be even the energy that people could be diagnosed as bipolar if they if they faltered in some way but maybe when the energy first came they were always able to be that and just go with it and never like if you're always channeling it is it going to is it going to destroy you and make you fall I'm not sure and that's why I really feel it's important for me to get with the relational program and and I was saying before when I was first in you know recovery I was just having fun and laughing and I was very relational I wasn't thinking I'm trying to be altruistic or whatever I was just being happy silly ridiculous playful fun talking smiling laughing and I never had any issues and then I switched into you know helping other people and peer support and and I definitely went downhill and I have had more struggles since and when I think about it it just might not be in alignment with that energy that energy maybe I had it still when I was in recovery but I was always making it relational I was always laughing and having fun with people and then when i started in in the other capacity I wasn't working with very many people at all very few just supporting a few people so I was in that relational space a lot less and so I think there's something with that two people that go into that consciousness we're not meant to sit at home and and do not anything even if we go out and just talk to people in our silly and have fun we're doing something and and that's why I was talking about random acts of kindness and it's and how it's a way to embody mania and make that energy relational and invite that energy to come back and and fill us and we're already doing that and where we are actually saying yes to the energy because we're doing what it would want us to do or animate us as without the reward of the energy being there as that bliss so it may be there it might not be there and do we need it to be there in order to do that

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