I just found out that Abba is doing some kind of reunion I think this proves that there is a God for sure but anyways I want to talk a little bit more about flow and then I might be over it for now I was just thinking about the comparison of somebody achieving achieving flow through say extreme adventure sports and that would take say a number of hours to get to the point where a person would be in flow while they're doing the activity and even to the point where they they master it and I even feel like a person would have to ride bigger and bigger waves to achieve that flow state so it would be a flow state but it would still be a state of sort of seeking that experience and doing a particular experience to get there and I feel like the manic flow that's induced by the universe no particular experience is needed wanting a particular experience actually gets in the way and a person can be so in flow in daily life that one is brought to tears by the beauty of a flower and that is seeing the flower beyond the ego so to me that's spending all this time getting to the point where one can get in flow in some kind of particular sport is missing the point as well it's not really a state that we need to try to get to to think that we need to try to get to it is actually getting in the way of us being the air we don't really have to do anything in particular I think there's a little bit of a difference of say being in a flow state naturally say embodying one's mania and practicing one's mania to actually be able to contain the flow that's what I feel like with the manic consciousness it's more about practicing to be that elite athlete version of oneself in daily life to actually be able to contain the extreme energy of flow this dream energy the extreme energy of flow that is the manic consciousness is like a huge wave that one needs to ride in daily life and one doesn't even have a choice the power of the universe just brings it in and it's up to us to sort of embody that and be able to ride that wave in daily life and all that extra energy is for the good of the world it's not for one's particular pleasure and if it gets turned into that it disappears so it's interesting how people in extreme adventure sports turn it into sort of like a particular pleasure and they have to keep repeating it in order to get it back there's not that much difference from doing that and say taking MDMA and having one's ego erased it's sort of relying on external circumstances to produce that oneness state with the universe that state is how it is we don't have to do anything to produce it in my mind it would be much more powerful for people to just practice these spontaneous social behaviors and and break up the habits of the normal ego consciousness and do random acts of kindness and and change the social fabric that way which would actually maybe create the preconditions for this natural wave of energy to to infuse one's being because it's always there is just being blocked by our habits in our regular thinking process so it's more about breaking up that thinking process and using extreme sports is one way to do it look if a person starts to get flowy and then decides they want to get into some kind of sport well that's fine once one is in that sort of flow consciousness it's a different state of seeing and being from which to make decisions or to notice what one wants to participate with it's a learning by playing and one is actually playing with one's life and life energy and is an instrument of play and I thought of the question is this a playful universe as opposed to is this friendly universe and if it's playful it means we can play again and we can learn again and I also thought of this idea about how a person that goes into manic consciousness their energy is a different level their consciousness is a different level and if you think of Rupert Sheldrake more of a genetic field it's almost like the morphic genetic field level of one society is say here and one's trying to pop into this higher consciousness but the morphogen etic field the gravity of that brings a person down eventually but I feel like these people popping into this higher state of consciousness over and over slightly alters the more for genetic field over time and it's trying to alter the more of a genetic field and its trying to create the preconditions for more people to see and be that way unfortunately it's misinterpreted we're not actually seeing people that go through these states of consciousness as people who pop into extreme flow States and actually embody something really spectacular and then unfortunately when a person comes back the process of coming back is difficult it be likened to somebody falling off the wave and breaking all their bones it you wouldn't say that person is like mentally ill you would just say that person really injured themselves and it's almost like a self injurious process because it actually injures the ego it scrambles the ego in the process of one's ego sort of Rico Lessing to come back down to the level of society's morpho genetic field is almost like one breaking ones all of one's bones and having to retail again but it's misinterpreted and then it's seen as some kind of like long-term thing that needs may be permanent medication and that's not really how it is a person just needs love and care and acceptance and to be kept safe and fed well while they reestablish connection with this dis ease of the collective this next bit I want to talk about is not really very mysterious and none of it really is a couple of weeks ago I created a long list of questions and I don't really look at it very much but what I randomly feel like it or randomly sort of go to it in my consciousness I sometimes look at a little bit of it I talked about in a different video how questions are perhaps well in the context of flow questions are perhaps a way for one to get a little bit flowy because instead of putting one's precious attention on the repetitive story than me the ego questions naturally get the brain to wonder and wondering is sort of like not knowing and the story is the known it's going on about the same old thing it's stuff that we already know and it's a very very limited domain whereas the rest of that which is not known is unlimited and I feel that questions are perhaps a way that a person can get flowy because of the way they sort of disarm the ego and even if they don't necessarily consciously they perhaps do subconsciously which is where some of that precognition stuff could happen so it's like planting seeds of it's like planting seeds so the mind and the brain can sort of look for something else I read a book psycho cybernetics and I can't really remember it but I remember that talks about how the brain is like a servomechanism which means it's sort of seeking what we're focusing on and thinking about so if we're always thinking about our little story we're not really going to see much beyond that and it's actually getting in the way with seeing what's right in front of us so by asking questions I i feel it's part of that servo mechanism process and it also makes something else more salient I remember having a discussion with a friend years ago before i had a manic consciousness experience about how if you hear about something for the first time and then you're driving down the road the next day and you see a sign that says that exact thing that you've just learned about now how did that happen and she mentioned it was about salience things become salient to our brain because of that discovery so by asking questions we make other things salient to our brain so we will just look there and see it and in that case with the sign maybe we drove by it a hundred times and never saw it so there could be a lot of things that we've been going by a hundred times and we don't see because we don't have that context we haven't asked that question we haven't it's not something we have considered so it invites us to consider something else so I encourage you to make a list of your own questions and maybe a long list and you know you can ponder over them or you can just look over them quickly and it's a way to get one's brain to start looking for something else and and we have to look outward a little bit for more information and it's not even about finding the answer it's just about asking the question and so some of my questions are and they're not really that exciting but where is the beauty so that's just a question to remind me that when I'm in a state of consciousness maybe in retrospect what I notice is in certain states of consciousness I'll notice beauty so if I'm noticing beauty i'm in that state and i might not be noticing that I'm noticing beauty but if I'm in a state where I want to consult the questions then again I can consider the concept of noticing beauty now the concept of noticing beauty is not the noticing of beauty itself and so all of these are just concepts and I'm I'm thinking one day that I would want to let go of concepts and writing things down and stuff and just not consult things that I've written down in the past and I'm not yet they're partly because I want to share some of the stuff or at least talk to myself about it and what am i grateful for that's a pretty obvious one what can I share and what can I give and that's a world centricity question and the question i got from tony robbins is what were today's magic moments and usually for me those are very simple things like observing someone to people smile at each other and a question I thought of that could be just the only question i would ask myself if i could pick one question and i might have talked about it before it's how are you contagious and that really brings everything that I feel that I've considered in terms of thematic consciousness and embodying one's mania and the posture and the and the gestures towards others and the world centricity in the sharing and the giving and all of that it's really acknowledging the ripple I'm putting out there in the resonance and what I'm creating with each beat of my heart it's how I contagious and it's taking responsibility thinking that every single electrical impulse in electromagnetic field of my body's is having an effect on reality larger than I could ever be aware of and if that were true how am i contagious how am i showing up not about what I want or or what the world can give me or what I need and all this ego stuff in this desire or how much TV can i watch tonight or oh I can't wait to watch this favorite show it's how my contagious how am i showing up in the world and the interesting thing is is that when one really gets with that what one needs and what one wants actually is right there because what one needs and what one wants is actually just to be one's best self and then it's just who you are and when you are who you are and you're capable of learning and thinking for yourself you don't really need very much else than that and a lot of these supposed needs that we have come out of this fundamental lack of being in that place where we're actually learning if we would have never stopped learning as children by being crammed with all that useless information and and told how to memorize and we already knew how to learn and then they said sit down in this desk and we're going to teach you how to learn and you'll be learning and that actually stopped the learning process but if that would have never been stopped over time we would all be freaking geniuses living in utopia but we were programmed and trained into very narrow bands of existence and you know being a professional which is just memorizing more and more stuff in a very small area and we think that is learning when it's not at all because if we were learning and always learning we could look at something and understand nearly everything about it without ever cramming knowledge into our head about it we would just understand and we just get it it would be self-evident a lot of things are and there's definitely needed for knowledge and specialization and a lot of things but there's a lot that we don't and by educating people in just a very limited way and then getting certain band of people to become professionals because they have managed to cram and learn that way and then the people the other people who don't learn that way because that's not learning anyways they maybe go off in this other direction and then you got the professionals and the ones that need the professionals because of this divide in the learning and then we call the other people you will they just don't get it and blah blah blah but that's not true it's just their learning process was stopped and they weren't able to cram like the ones that are able to be programmed in that way and then the ones that are programmed and in society in that way or said you have the knowledge let's help these other people and it creates the whole haves and have-nots and the the smart people and the not as smart people and you know now they're starting to talk about multiple lines of intelligence and all that but society is still designed to reward a certain kind of learning and and that learning is actually perpetuating the design of society as it is which creates this big divide of people know keeping way too much than they actually need blah blah blah the list goes on but anyway I think that we're programmed into being dull and not being able to learn for ourselves so we look to professionals for the answers when if our brains were clear we could actually quite easily understand it ourselves another thing that goes along with the tre in the body awakening method and the rebounding and so as exercise in the bedroom yoga and the role thing is coherence breathing that's another way to get ones physiology to sort of get back into proper alignment with nature with one's natural flow and there's apps for that and stuff and I've done it in the past but I haven't done it lately there's an app called stress doctor and then there's an app available through complete coherence calm but you need a chest strap or something to sync with the app the other one you just put your finger on it and I don't know if one is more accurate than the other but both seem pretty good in dr. Daniel seagulls google talk about mine site and interpersonal neurobiology he talked about an experiment where people were blindfolded for a given period of time it was a couple weeks and in those couple of weeks the brain actually changed its structure to make more neural connections for the fingertips and the hands because a person was using their hands more to feel around in society and it happened over a pretty short period of time and it took over quite a large region of the brain so he was saying how fluid the brain really is and how it changes the brain map to map the world and he actually said the mind changes the brain where the mind creates the brain which boggled some people's minds in the audience when he said that but in that same way I feel mania is sort of the energy of the universal mind and it's changing our brains it's remapping our brains and I also feel like what is it that we need to become blind to what parts of ourselves do we just need to put a blindfold over so that part of our brain can be taken over by something else and we have this ego drone going on in our brain our prefrontal cortex all the time now if there was a blindfold put on that process and it stopped maybe something else gets mapped in that area of the brain maybe we think that the prefrontal cortex is actually supposed to be for that blah blah blah but maybe it's that blah blah blah that's actually preventing the prefrontal cortex from being utilized by something else and to me I think it's more like a big garbage heap that's in the way and it's almost like the hands of the universe would be mapped through our prefrontal cortex and that precognition that happening without having to think about it needing to abstract about it first if we're walking around in life and there's billions of bits of information around us and we're moving about space yet we have this sort of binary I'm going to choose between this and this going on so maybe two bits of information what are those two bits have anything to do with the totality nothing whatsoever yet we think we need this little decision-making process to guide us when there's the totality there's the energy and I think that when we don't have this little thing going on in our prefrontal cortex that's what's comes in and and takes over it's like we have this little it's like we have this little man in our head and he's like a piece of Lego and he's the one steering this entire complex human organism and we think that this little piece of Lego is actually running the show when really it's the entire universe it's the entire Earth it's the entire Gaius sphere it's everything and we're part of that we're in that and it's not different from us we close our eyes we open the eye our eyes and we create what we see because our brains are mapped and adapted to show us that if we had a different brain we would see something different and if we weren't perfectly adapted to this we wouldn't see it and interact with it in the way that we do and in the same way we can change things and we can we need to help reality to level up because what we have created with just our little binary decision making process is not what we would have created if we are actually in our creative state which is our natural flow state I don't think this is what we would have imagined for ourselves we created our own prison of work and meaninglessness and now we're trying to get back to this meaningful flow state within the field of meaninglessness but we don't question the meaninglessness from which we operate in the first place I have a question can i think in only questions today and I've talked before in another video somewhere that my brain doesn't really have a linear thought process at least I don't hear it I don't hear my own voice in my own head but I guess it's more amusing just to consult questions sometimes I only have a few times really but just to sort of look at them it's more a game it's more it's not really thinking oh I need to consult the questions or I won't be in flow it's more like I'm in flow and I can consult questions or not consult questions it doesn't really matter either way i was listening to matt khan and a lot of what he says is nice and i was enjoying it and stuff and he he he's had a really cool question actually he said who would you be if no one needed you and in a way that suspends the EO of it because it's like well all that is kind of false nobody needed me who would I be and I think I like that question I like because I still definitely participate in stuff the thinking it seems like it implies that somebody needs me if I'm working saying in the mental health field it's kind of like oh I can help with mental health so it implies that need so I like the question of who would I be Eve no one needed me if nobody needed me I probably i don't know if i would work in mental health i feel i work in it mostly just because that's the paradigm I was sort of put into it's like the more for genetic field of where how I was burst back into this reality I was birthed back into this reality by by going through the mental health paradigm and I surrendered to it and I just went through it when really I wanted to say screw these meds I'm taking off to California by and I probably would have never seen anybody again but I decided to stay here and just go through it so it's just the trajectory of of all of that and I feel like I could I could take it or leave it for now I'm working in it but if nobody needed me I if I felt no one needed me and that then maybe I wouldn't work in mental health but so I like that question but then i

n the talk about an hour in he started getting people to repeat stuff and I don't know I just found it really lame like it went on for like a long time I skipped ahead and it was still happening and it seemed like 10 minutes and it just seemed very pacifying I don't know like people were just getting lulled to sleep and I don't know I didn't like it gave me the heebie-jeebies actually but I do like a lot of what he has to say another question is how can I have more energy and if you think about how the ego wastes energy one thing is to not get caught in one story that's a way to not waste energy and have more energy or if I'm about to eat some kind of food that might not give me as much energy it's going to make me a little bit more aware if I'm thinking in terms of having more energy I've actually started going to bed so early lately I've been going to bed between seven-thirty and 8 30 p.m. and I've been waking up between like four and six a.m. so I still sleep a lot but it's interesting instead of going to bed like 11 and waking up at nine by going to bed at seven and waking up at five I actually feel like the days are nearly twice as long I'm not sure why but I feel like I get a lot done I feel like I have time to do the few sort of physiology practices to keep my body healthy and then shower and be ready and have lots of time and energy in the day not only that if i go to bed really early i can always make sure i get enough sleep because whether i wake up at five seven six I've had a lot of sleep and so I always have lots of energy through the whole day it's not like I wake up tired and then have to barely make it through the day the whole day and then go to bed late and repeat the same thing over and over and I find I am tired between seven-thirty and 8 30 and instead of having those sort of like lame-o hours and just sitting around doing kind of nothing at night and being tired because i was tired all day anyway i just go to bed and I sleep during that time and then it just feels like the day is so much longer it's really weird to him I've been doing it for probably about three or four weeks now and I just really I'm liking it his instead I have all these hours in the morning where I'm energetic it's just it's good i've seen stuff on the internet about people who are early risers and they're more productive and stuff and i never really tried it i only happened upon it because i had to wake up early for work for a number of days and then i had i happen to go to bed really early one night then i woke up early the next day and felt really good and so I just kept on that schedule so what happened by accident and I'm I'm liking it like right now it's five o'clock and I feel like even if I went to sleep right now for some reason I feel like I've done a lot today but and maybe it just feels like I've done a lot just because I was alive I had energy I wasn't thinking about myself and how I was suffering because I didn't have energy and if that happens all day long that's kind of a tiresome day so even if I was doing stuff I liked and I'm tired that that sucks another question I have is what would a manic person do or what would I do if I was manic it's a spontaneous state it's a fun state it's a playful state so it's just another way to sort of direct me towards embodying my mania and one of the things I've been a lot more consciously aware of in the last month or two is really about how I'm showing up somewhere and seems so obvious but just really being consciously aware of what it is I'm doing next so if I'm facilitating a group almost just consciously adjusting my energy before I get to the group so I show up exactly as I need to be for the group and that's pretty obvious but I've really been more consciously aware of that and it's had a good effect I think another one is how can I master my reality or how can I master my life and I've in the past studied a bit about mastery and self-mastery in the path to enlightenment and I feel like a person that has that manic consciousness can also work towards self mastery like mastering mania and and part of my experience in the last number of months since I was hospitalized made me really realize that I need to master myself and master this energy because I can't let it come in and say get too high or too out there and and really this is about monitoring my own energy levels you know making sure i get enough sleep just really taking care of myself in in different ways that i might have been a little bit lazy with before i guess i guess it's just being really really watchful of myself because with that energy it can turn into something else really quick so if i have that energy that extra energy and things arise in my consciousness I don't like think about them but say something arises in terms of like a past memory that's not so great if I sort of am not being attentive to that it could that energy caught up with that sort of mind virus can spin into something so I've been more watchful to not allow things to to spin into something and it's just it's just actually as simple as being aware of it and seeing it and it's not about oh that was bad it was just actually seeing it so it doesn't actually gain any momentum at all and the reason why the ego has so much momentum is we don't actually see it we don't see it as from the perspective of the seer beyond the ego the witness so we can witness it as we witness said it loses power so i just picked my finger for example and if blood right so if i thought like oh my gosh i'm bleeding and then I think of that time where there was blood on the red pepper and then I like kind of scare myself and I I get into some kind of fear mode then maybe I would be my energy would be different and that if the other energy comes in its going to feed whatever kind of energetic state that I'm in that's why it's important to really have my physiology in order and I haven't actually been eating that healthy lately and it's not really seeming to bother me at all I do want to actually eat healthier at some point one of the reasons I haven't been eating so healthy is because I did manage to accumulate a bit of debt because I was in the hospital and then I was traumatized in the hospital and then I was like keeping my stress solo because I was afraid to go back to the hospital and be traumatized again but then now i have my representation agreement and my advance directive so I feel safer so now I've definitely upped my level of work and activity so I'm paying and so when I get out of debt hopefully by the end of this year I'm then going to maybe focus again on eating a little bit healthier I haven't been eating tons of crap but I've just been eating a lot of rice with like packaged Indian food goop on it which is really delicious I would just like to eat a lot more vegetables I have been in places in my life where I eat a ton of raw food I I was a hundred percent raw vegan I was juicing every morning I was making smoothies I was making zucchini pasta I was super healthy I was 105 pounds I felt really really good and that's how i was eating actually before I went into my first manic consciousness my first extreme flow state so that's another way actually I feel to get into flow if one once again into flow is be a hundred percent raw vegan for a long period of time at least 10 months a lady victoria boot anko she's really great at explaining why raw foods are very beneficial she is a DVD called 12 steps to raw food and she talks about how cooked food is an addiction and it is in a way when I was on one hundred percent raw I didn't think about cooked food at all after a certain period of time and I had no desire to eat it whatsoever now it would probably be difficult for the first bit for me to go one hundred percent raw again and I used to be quite attached to the whole one hundred percent raw thing but now I feel like I'm not that attached to it because it's one of those things if I was one-hundred-percent raw I would be spending probably six to seven hundred dollars a month on groceries I'd be spending an hour to a day on food prep if I was juicing I could do it pretty fast so maybe like an hour and a half and just stuff like that and to me if I'm super attached to it it's kind of like reinforcing my ego too it's it's great to do it for the body but I feel like if one isn't in one's ego consciousness and super attached to things that ego consciousness being attached to things and trying an effort and force and just basically abusing oneself to force oneself into a way of being because one thinks that's the best way that's actually counterproductive because it wastes energy I talked about before how the ego wastes energy and it also changes the energy field of the body by creating the neuropeptides of sadness anger judgment self-hate and all these things and so what I'm saying is if one can sort of let go of all of that and the judgment and the one doesn't have the ego consciousness so much with all that stuff one's not wasting the energy at one's not needing perfect food nutrition in order to have energy because the energy of the universe is way more powerful if matic consciousness energy comes in I could be up for days I've never done that but if I wanted to I could be up for days I could be running a marathon all that stuff so energy doesn't necessarily come from food when we're in our ego consciousness and we need we need all that nutrition and stuff to counteract what the thinking process is doing to us so we're actually just we're literally killing ourselves with our own thoughts feelings and actions because that is just reinforcing the ego than me protecting oneself from oneself and trying to protect oneself from society which we're all apart of and we all co-created and so that's why I'm not really attached to the raw food thing anymore because it can become just another ego thing now if I just thought if I got some kind of physical health diagnosis for some reason I would probably go raw because i feel that would give my body the chance to get rid of some of the accumulated stuff but i feel when the ego is not the primary operator there's not that much more really accumulating in a way it's maybe like a freeze frame for the body so it buys a person time and that's the thing i like about just eating the rice and the indian food stuff because I just make a couple days worth of rice and i buy a couple days worth of the Indian packaged food and I just put the rice from the fridge in a pot and put the indie and stuff and stir it up I don't use the microwave I don't I can't remember the last time I use a microwave so it's really fast and right now it could be because I'm in this I've actually I'm in the state where it's really difficult to take care of myself like I can't actually imagine going to the store buying all this food prepping it up making it all nice for myself I don't know it seems weird like I don't actually remember how I did that I don't it I don't have that sense to do that if I had a lot of money I'd probably go to different places and buy their raw food and stuff and support the people out there that are trying to make him more available that would definitely be cool but right now I feel a lot more resonant with just putting stuff in a pot and stirring it up and eating it be cuz it's like this its food I'm eating I'm grateful and it doesn't need to be more than that and I feel less worried about its effect on me as I was before and it seems like the last time I was really worried about the effect on me and I was doing the completely raw diet then manic consciousness came in and I ended up in the psych ward eating psych ward food and I was no longer raw vegan and since then I haven't been a hundred percent Ravi again I did quite a bit of it for a while I know again was in good shape and and my body was good and I might go back to that but what I'm saying is is that that doesn't necessarily have much to do with one's energy so I'm more concerned about being energetic in the day with my new sleep pattern I'm energetic and the food it does zapped my energy a little bit but not huge and another thing is to I'm more susceptible to going into extreme manic consciousness so if Roth vegan food actually augments that I don't necessarily need that to be augmented I have pretty good energy and I have to watch to not have too much energy so I don't feel I need to eat super healthy because I do actually need some things to keep me grounded in reality like I do take one medication in a relatively small dose and I feel that keeps me grounded in this reality and if I didn't take it I would probably see a lot more than I already see and I'd probably get kind of upset about it and I'd also feel I want to take action on it and then I just would be a ping pong ball and this is not a ping-pong ball society it's a consider the day and schedule stuff and all that so so keeps me more resonant with that and it's interesting what I take is a heavy metal and you know it's kind of like the opposite of lightness which is kind of how one is in the mounted consciousness and it's also like a capacitor in a way because it has a positive charge and if I think that I might have extra energy going through me which is electrons which is negative charge it's kind of like keeping the electrons it's like I'm more of a capacitor than just like diffusing all the energy all the time so I don't know if that's true what can I create today oh that's the other thing is today I had breakfast and I'm hungry but I've been drinking juice from costco all day because tomorrow i'm going to write the Mensa test I think it's just more funny than anything else and I don't think I'm going to pass but I figured since digestion takes up like seventy percent of energy if I don't eat the rest of today as well as tomorrow up until the test maybe I'll be a little bit more clear and I would just think it's funny if I passed and I don't think I will maybe one day I will but never tried it's just one of those things that of like i'll try and they have their like friends and family discount on or something so it's like 30 bucks which isn't that much so little thing is kind of funny that's all because the Mensa test is actually kind of opposite to what I'm saying with this whole manic consciousness Mensa IQ is sort of the way of thinking of the training of society and and I don't think my brain really works like that anymore would be interesting to think of like intelligence as this like vast expanse of possibilities and then the Mensa IQ is like this one little thing and I'd like to imagine that my brain maybe encompasses all of it including the little Mensa thing but if I don't pass then it might mean that Mensa is just too narrow-minded and maybe my brain can't really focus in on that and either way I don't give a crap what can I create today what is my contribution what is my gift what is my service these most of these questions are about how I need to be or what can I give what can I share what can I help with how can I be of service it's not about you know how do I get this little pleasure met that's so boring what can I do to help another today how do I share where I'm at and lead by example how do I be my best self in service of humanity is my service to humanity to be my best self and that might be true and that's the thing is the questions are kind of warped but because I feel like to be ones best self is one service and you don't have to do anything and that's the thing in the manic consciousness state just being that version of oneself is the doing there's no conscious thinking of trying to do something other than what one is in the moment responding to the moment exactly as the moment needs and so these questions are kind of weird because they're almost like I need to do something but they're not about okay I'm going to go do that it's just about opening up the brain cells of awareness it's more about scrambling the ego with something else utilizing words in a different way than the repetitive inner critic it's using words to maybe break up the words of the inner critic because we're being used by our words we're being used by words in general and I might have said that's in a different video that we're being sent in to a life sentence of other people's sentences most of the things that we think we got from somebody else like somebody said oh you're too fat or too thin or your to this and that sticks in our brain it goes on repeat so it's just from somebody else a lot of it we didn't actually think of ourselves and then we're poisoning ourselves with it literally these thoughts are actually changing our physiology and they're literally killing us and then as we walk around in this I'm killing myself state we are killing other people at the same time another question is what can I see what is possible to see what else can I see and we're so used to seeing the same thing every day that we don't see anything at all we've become habituated to it and it's there but it's not there and it disappears so we're actually making things disappear until we're living a life where we don't even really like years will go by and be like what has even happened like nothing's really happened in these years but it's just because we're in this habituated process then people say oh 30 days to create a new habit the process of habit itself is flawed work we turned ourselves into a bunch of habits and we think we just need to create new habits we don't ever see beyond the habit we don't say what else can I see what else is there and the answer is everything else besides this but we just don't see it because we don't know there's something else to see and actually in the DVD masks of madness by dr. Abrams offer he talks about how he said I camera but it wasn't and say seventy or eighty percent of mental illness is a perceptual disorder it's a disease or a trouble of seeing and and we usually see with our thoughts but we're not really that's not true seeing and when when I think about the states that I've been in where where I'm kind of in a psychosis and stuff its thoughts and its images so though my brain doesn't normally operate that way it can come in and take me over and nearly kill me and that's when I really see how dangerous that stuff is it's really so dangerous but we don't see it that way and so that's the thing I've been more aware of and not humoring like I might have before and that's if something comes into my mind arises in my consciousness that even resembles that I just kind of like not now that's not happening now that's not what's happening right now and and not allowing that to spiral at all not even 21 Association not even one Association at all another question I have is is it that people just want to be heard and I've another thing I've been sort of noticing recently is that a lot of times I have the urge to speak and like and share and everything and and I feel like I have a lot to say but I've been erring on the side of really listening to people and giving other people the opportunity to speak not that I didn't before but now I'm erring on the side of I will say nothing and if there's if I'm facilitating a group or something and I could share an example or I could say what do you think I say what do you think and give other people a chance to be heard because I can speak on videos to myself and and by doing that I'm sort of releasing that energy of speaking and then in my daily reality where I'm in the relational mind aspect of myself I'm I'm being more receptive and I feel like that's changing my energy from having you know the urge to speak and this isn't even an urge like my ego this is that energy in that that flow it's it's changing the flow slightly to to just receiving then flowing with others so being so empty that I have nothing to say and maybe I do have stuff to say but it's n

ot it's not pre-planned at all in that I have no intention going into the interaction and that gives more space for whatever to arise that needs to arise and that's not to say I never speak and say stuff I do but I'm people want to be heard I've wanted to be heard because of some of the things that I've gone through with the system and stuff but i guess i'm translating that to video by talking to myself and then just going about being with people in a little bit different way have a question what pitches can i throw to the universe today and I heard that first said in a documentary called maybe it was called thoughts or things or something I can't remember what it was it was something about thoughts and the guy talked about how do you sort of throw pitches to the universe you know eventually you'll sort of hit a home run or something and and it's just kind of like putting things out there and and you know that's more like whoa if I thought of sending an email to somebody to open a line of communication I could do that and who knows what that'll lead to another concept of kept with me for years is the concept of having the universe on my side and so something kind of goes downhill I think well I need to get the universe on my side so that means i have to up my game and do a bit better in reality and the universe will be back on my side and I'm not saying that's true but it's kind of a fun game it's more fun than oh the world owes me something and I'm gonna whine and cry about stuff it's more okay I got to do something so i might even do something like donate twenty dollars to a charity online just to be like to put that intention out there okay universe like yeah and and it kind of goes in line with what i was talking about boat and body and ones mania and worldcentric consciousness and we're all one sort of like acknowledging that we're all one so it doesn't matter if i give away twenty dollars to a charity it's the same as giving it to myself i have a question about how can I motivate others to be their best self and I have no idea if these videos are gonna do anything like that but I'm not trying to actually teach anything per se or say oh you have to do this or you have to do that I just feel like creating a lot of dialogue with myself is just creating contexts it's sort of the context is sort of the place from which we see things and the content is the particular stuff in which we see and I'm not talking about the content the particular step I'm talking more about the context and actually maybe changing the way we see a little bit not saying see this way but by saying look at sort of the look at how we normally define seeing and thinking and talking about it in so many different ways that it might open us up to see it in a slightly different way I don't know if that's true but there's a quote by wayne dyer that says when you change the way you look at things the things you look at change and there's another quote by somebody it's saying it's not in some something but it's in having new eyes and there's another quote about how something will kaleidoscope of our mind and the world's the ever adjusting picture of our moving thoughts or something so there's a lot of quotes about the seeing itself and and just having new eyes and that's the thing it's not about oh do this step one step two step three we love that we love yeah just tell me what to do and I'll do it it's about seeing just changing the way one actually sees and experiences life like do we see it through the ego process or do we see it as we are it and we're just seeing and and in if there's that shift there's nothing to do what random acts of kindness can I do today I'm big on random acts of kindness and the thing with these videos too is that at some point I think when I I start working a little bit less I need to I want to move into actually doing more of these things instead of like seeing them and and and seeing and understanding them but it's another thing to to move into that way of being and I'm wondering if that will make me go into manic consciousness because partly having my little habitual routine keeps me habituated to this more of a genetic field of society and I'm wondering if I go out and I'm actually in the relational mind if I'm you know changing things by being a bit of a positive social contagion with spontaneous social behaviors a pattern interrupt a cognitive dissonance creator a heart resonator I'm not sure what that will do so I'm being a bit cautious about that but I'm hoping by the time I actually put these videos out there if I do at all that I will be embodying my mania that i will have created a mattock lifestyle design at least a couple of days per week and and perhaps even be having some of these dialogues with people out and maybe recording them as well and and going from there so yeah it's it's kind of it's kind of funny to put all this video stuff together and then just be kind of sitting here like a lump on the couch but that's not to say I don't do stuff during the day I do but it's a little mechanical how much can I smile today I can't remember where I heard it but somebody said that one of the therapies for bipolar disorder is just to smile for 20 minutes a day and that again is how the physiology and our posture and her gesture even the gestures of our face how we hold our face actually changes things inside ourselves so smiling is important it may be helps and there's more to it with that whole laughter yoga thing I tried it once it was kind of funny and I think it would help people for sure and one thing I would like to create more of my life is laughter when I lived in a mental health community and I worked at an office after that it was like a four year probably three year period of time that I was laughing my butt off every day no merous times and that produces oxytocin which creates epigenetic changes which changes the physiology of the body and it's healing so just as the flow state was healing for Stephen coulter i think the laughter state and the oxytocin state is very powerful for healing as well especially for being healing sort of mentally and living on my own and stuff it's not as funny how can I positively impact others I love positively impacting others if I have some kind of little thing that I do and it comes up in conversation and they take it on and then like wow I just love that I just want people to be healthy and happy I actually just get so thrilled when people make positive changes in their life I don't have that whole like envy or jealousy thing going on it's such a waste and a poison to oneself and another thing is what are my possibilities and my potentialities that's really important because mounted consciousness is a state of seeing possibility everywhere and the possible becomes probable and once these possibilities everywhere one looks so many possibilities one can predict the future of every path one sees because one just extrapolates to infinite possibility and so by again asking the brain to open up the possibilities it's opening the brain up to that extra energy to that manic consciousness which is the power of the universe which animates us and directs us and moves us in the ways that it has designed us to be naturally and that energy takes us over and it dissolves temporarily the false ego structures and the ego structures that that reside in our cellular memory in our muscle memory and our muscle tension in our contortions of how we hold ourselves and that just comes in and breaks it all up and shows us all of what's possible and then poof would come back to this regular state of consciousness with a huge hangover and think how can I ever get back to that it was so powerful and so huge it was so immense and there's nothing we can do to get back there except for everything or nothing but just by being open to possibility and the ego is the known it's collapsed wave function it's it's not even what's happening it's illusion but the ego prevents us from seeing our possibilities you know the deepest depression I've experienced that is like no possibilities can't see anything possible for one's life ever can't even see the possibility of getting off the couch not even knowing what to do it's so impossible and the opposite end is mania where everything's possible and everything's possible for everyone and one sees that so again it's about seeing depression we see nothing and mania we see everything and so it's about that from that level that we're seeing and so asking about possibilities how can I be unconditionally loving that one's easy and difficult it's easy to not be judgmental but it's easy also to spot the ego and and seeing its falseness feels like a judgment and seeing how it makes people suffer feels like a judgment and it's I don't know about that one krishnamurthy s question is is there a totally different way of living and that to me is manic consciousness and spontaneous social behaviors what would it take to get the world to shift from competition to cooperation and collaboration how do I invite more synchronicity into my life and I feel synchronicity is somewhat synonymous with mania as well and the thing with synchronicity is one has to be prepared to follow it to act on it if one sees synchronicity was like a I'll get to it later it's over so I guess part of me once I do venture out and I and I more in synchronicity I feel like I'll be in more flow with the universe in my actual daily living as opposed to sort of in it and out of it at the same time so so perhaps I'm I'm preparing myself to enter back into synchronicity and and just making a little bit of effort to again be effortless because the effortless is when we don't feel ourselves

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