I just ate a bit of lunch and I was thinking about synesthesia where the brain gives the sensation that isn't correct for example someone might be eating a carrot and it tastes like cotton candy and I have this sense that synesthesia has something to do with the fact that we're all one consciousness so sometimes we have that sort of experience that's not congruent and I was thinking about how when I've had an experience called dissociation in the past I feel like I'm homeless man and I was thinking that that's actually in a way related to synesthesia it's like experiencing a different consciousness as my own not just thinking I'm eating cotton candy when I'm eating a carrot it's actually feeling like I am somebody else while I am me and I don't know if that's because I'm quantumly entangled with a homeless man or or something to do with holographic consciousness sometimes I feel like a very conscious person whatever that means it might mean higher on the scale of consciousness by dr. David Hawkins he talks about how one person at a certain level balances out 10,000 at a certain level below and in a way I think we're almost like additive in a way so say there's 10 people of 10 consciousness that equals to one person at a thousand consciousness just in this example in a way in a way those 10 people are that one person at the higher consciousness it's almost like if we're thinking about it in terms of just additive consciousness and not in terms of bodies those ten consciousnesses that add up to make that one consciousness in effect are equal so it's like one person sometimes I feel like that's partly how this quantum entanglement or holographic consciousness akathisia a reaction dissociation happens in that if the one consciousness at a thousand or whatever divides in a way then it sort of feels like it's somebody else because there is somebody else at that level so when the consciousness goes to that level it can almost have an a ksiva reaction equated with that consciousness as opposed to the higher level of consciousness it could also have something to do with being called to do something in particular like I feel called to help homeless people and then when I go into that state of consciousness I feel like I am homeless and maybe that's why I feel called to help them so it could be giving me a clue it could be an actual happening could be a kiss it could be synesthesia I think i mighta just said akathisia which is different so synesthesia to me shows that consciousness is holographic and it's also non-local so that would mean that our consciousness how it is now is affecting the whole it has an effect on the whole it could be partly to if a consciousness experiences being a homeless person that's going to give that consciousness more empathy for that situation for that experience in humanity so one will be more understanding and empathetic and then not be judgmental and all that energy that goes along with that so there's a lot of different levels I can see there I was also thinking that I might be having an akathisia reaction to this job I've had akathisia before when I'm put on long-term antipsychotics and feel sort of the same I wrote down that we choose things that won't satisfy us and are not right for us because of marketing so marketing changes our focus and our attention on to something else because we've been programmed that way so normal life is like this grand marketing scheme to keep us away from our natural innate flowering that would be an unfolding and we would be satisfied because we would be who we are not searching for something else and I think whatever we're searching for will find but we've been programmed into searching for the wrong things and more on the algorithm of synchronicity which is something I will be exploring for sure it has something to do with the present moment and with not seeking and it's sort of a movement of the present moment as eternity whereas thought is sort of a movement of the brain cells which tries to give some sort of representation of what's going on but it's not quite that it's a movement away from actuality in a way it's sort of like a reflex away from what's actually right now and and the ego was like a muscle spasm that doesn't actually contribute to forward propulsion to the movement forward I was thinking about how this self dialogue process is kind of like sweating when we exercise and what I mean by that is when we exercise we sweat and that helps to eliminate toxins and in a way when we do this self dialogue process it's sort of like a sweating we release missed through our mouth and the mystery is revealed and that energy goes out with the water partly as well as the energy just like the energy of physical movement creates the sweat which releases the toxins the energy of the movement of one's voice and dialogue and moving that energy through the body releases whatever toxins that need to be released through the voice through the lungs sweating and the algorithm of the ego voice talking to itself and loops is tied into the dopamine reflex so that algorithm is a program that will get us addicted to the dopamine reflex which is the ego which is programming which is a false structure so we're lost in egocentric nests which is since the voice is going in a loop it creates this Center it creates this structure through which the voice circles around in a way and it makes it feel like this me and then this me needs pleasures so it goes to this thought and this thought and this thought this thought and it's constantly enclosing itself in this radius and I don't feel we would need to be supported in recovery from mental illness if we were never pushed away from our original childlike trajectory of who we were born as and I think this trans consciousness experience as well as other experiences of consciousness are actually immunity to being turned into artificial intelligent bio robots and it seems we by reality with what we pay attention to and it's not just pay attention as in focus its pay with our attention instead of paying with our attention can we create with our intention and attention and I think in map consciousness the transformation moves us towards quantum computation because dopamine is a linear computation reflex between good bad positive negative and when one gets beyond that duality there is a much more rich experience there's a different algorithm and I wrote down that action in the moment heals the implications meaning if a person see something and all of its implications in the extrapolation and then actually acts it sort of heels that in the moment plus all of the implications of that that one saw it's really interesting and mania is a word for a bunch of fun cool different new stuff happening and I wonder if we can just do that do find new different cool stuff and do we need that energy in order to do that we didn't we were young realize about Tom Wooten's bipolar in order how he teaches us to find the value in depression which is a way of saying take the good and bad out of it take the right and wrong take the pleasure take the dopamine out of it in that we think well this doesn't feel good so it's bad but doesn't necessarily mean it's bad just because it doesn't feel good could have something to do with dopamine withdrawal depression might and we might need to decouple from that before we get reattached to the other reward system which isn't tied to dopamine and the personal gains and personal pleasures it's tied to oxytocin and the the gain of the whole the gain of we and I think that's important and that's tied into altruism and it's the natural reward and oppression is also showing that the ego compass of dopamine isn't it it doesn't lead us to sustained happiness with life it's more and more isolating which actually leads us to be less and less happy so it's also showing that we've gone too far down that road and laughter is a different reward system that gives us oxytocin as well I actually thought of an idea for an app or something tied into the Apple watch or something if they could actually measure how much we laugh in a day apparently a 40 year old laughs four times laughter is very healing and it's very good for the body so it could actually be a measure of health to measure how much one laughs in one day I was also thinking that it's probably one of the reasons why farts sound so funny is because they make us laugh I think farting might actually be more to do with social bonding than anything else it gets rid of gas in the body too but evolution could have made it silent it could have made it never make a funny sound because it would make sense that it stays silent because if we think about back to predatory days if somebody farted then they might get eaten by a lion or something but the social benefits actually outweighed the costs of getting caught by Tiger just to make a really funny sound on purpose and laugh about it and also like why is it so funny to see somebody get so offended by smelly fart so some people let smelly ones out on purpose just to see somebody react and then that is funny even if it doesn't make a sound so I think the bacteria in our guts are on our side when it creates that and we notice motion and contrast and dopamine is our main motion and contrast of like dislike good bad yes no and that's very binary and it misses everything else because it's always judging and relating to whether it likes or dislikes something which gives somebody dopamine so this ego judging process and processing everything according to itself and what it thinks is the dopamine reflex it's like these thoughts are just dopamine yes yay no oh yes and that's all it is all day long just getting dopamine and we seem to use our ego voice in our own head to block us from gesturing and receiving gestures and what I mean by that is if we're talking and rationalizing in our mind we we block ourselves from say reaching out to touch someone's shoulder or smiling because we're thinking and and all of this thinking in our voice that prevents these gestures these natural gestures that we have makes us more rigid into this conforming version of ourself as someone who never reaches out to touch someone's arm or won't even give someone a handshake or whatever it is so our voice makes us more consistent as our ego self and blocks gestures and blocks our degrees of freedom and it blocks us from looking to gesture which activates other people's mirror neurons which causes bonding and oxytocin we're so busy judging that we're not gesturing and in school we're trained to be rewarded for remembering so I think this has been internalized in the ego process and that we're always remembering recalling old memories and we're getting a reward dopamine so we've mirrored that on the inside so we mistake remembering for intelligence so then we have this ego always remembering things and the ego thinks it's this intelligent entity and the EPI gestures of the universe in manic consciousness come into seed new neural pathways and neural realities and I think language has replaced unconditional love because languages judgmental it's judging all the time and so children that develop supposedly normally they they get words early on and then they're looking to words to judge whether they're loved in a way and then so words replace unconditional love and that's the process we've used but that doesn't work with children on the autism spectrum they need unconditional love a lot longer because it can't be replaced it can't be contingent on the words seems that learning creates DNA and maybe that's how organisms evolved they learned by perceiving something they learned what it is they need to create a mirror of what it is they perceived and the mirror isn't exactly what they perceive but it's the compliment in terms of the interface of whatever organism that is so in a way the organism shapes the environment the environment shapes the organism perception creates DNA the need for something creates DNA it creates that something so through trans consciousness the body the whole organism becomes the compass instead of the ego I've had all sorts of interesting experiences when I go into that other consciousness and one of them was I was working at a farmers market and there was a vegetable vendor there who I known for probably two years or three years three different seasons of farmers markets and he came up to me he SAT me down and he said to me don't have any children because of the autism or something is what he said and he might have told me about somebody he knew with autism or something but it was just strange it was out of nowhere he's never SAT me down and talked to me in that way in four or five years except for that one time and I was in a different state of consciousness I was more on the ecstatic extraordinary side of things and the person that I worked with at the farmers market was like what was that all about and so I told her and she's like that is just bizarre this is not like he said old you have children or whatever he didn't ask he's never asked and this man he doesn't speak English very well he's different ethnicity he had no reason to just set me down like that and say that and to me it's sort of like in those other states of consciousness sometimes other people are turned into messengers and they're sitting down saying it not as themselves it's like almost like they went into that other state of consciousness and because they have a relationship like I have a relationship with this person I I like this person maybe I'll listen to that person so it's kind of bizarre and I've had more experiences like that than just that one and so when that happened I could think what does this person know me or why are they saying that but I'm just like wow that was an experience of sort of messenger consciousness I'm not sure why it happened that way but so I guess I'm not really supposed to have children and it seems like in that first experience everyone was a messenger whether I knew them or not they were giving me messages all the time and it became a little bit much I wrote this long thing on something to do with burning my hand when I was straightening my hair and I really I don't even remember if I talked about this already that's the trouble if I don't owe an order of stuff I wrote down like did I talk about this or did I just write this I have no idea I don't know maybe I'll just read it because it's a bit long and I want to finish this video before I go bowling I just extrapolated that when I was straightening my hair and burnt my hand on my hot hair I immediately shook my hand it was a way to disperse the concentrated heat waving my hand might be to cool it down we also shake our hand if we bump it on something or get a paper cut is this a way to dissipate the pattern of pain a reflex it is a behavior that is not necessarily logical its biological do we also shake our hand so that people will notice we've been injured or hurt by way of that gesture so if I shake my hand somebody might look over and be like oh are you okay whereas if I don't even move then maybe people won't notice i extrapolate this to how some people start behaving in supposed awed behaviors in crisis it's like a reflex to signal to others we need help if it was logical we would just logically and rationally ask for help in supposed psychosis is this kind of a reflex we are lost in a world of words as our ego scrambles its gesture of inconsistent behavior like an undulation like the wave of a hand it signals we've been burned by an emotion or hit by our ego likely by being struck like a billiard ball of another ego or burned by a gesture or action of an other this hit by action of another strikes are solid ego story structure and breaks it up in the meantime as we scramble to create a new story to call ourselves and calm ourselves our behavior is different by virtue of our broken up story as the story tries to recreate itself it delves into past memories if it needs more to go on it dives into the collective story book of the collective human unconscious accessing these stories is seen as delusion and hallucination when it's just trying to find material to complete the story this is often interfered with and the story is written over it's put together by chemical band-aids instead of being integrated by the gentle touch of love by listening air being cared about heels it heals those biomolecules of distressed perception love cannot be replaced by pharmaceuticals also i extrapolate that certain people are accumulating the allostatic load due to egocentricity we need more world centricity more professionals call for more professionals as the divide widens could tre help shake off some of the energy instead of the behaviors the ego is that which concentrates the energy by identifying and this accumulates allostatic load which must then be dissipated in behavior so many good people doing bad things map experience is to shake off all of that not just the personal but all the collective implied in each concentrated ego and extrapolated back to infinity it's difficult to shake this off recovery is going against the universal shaking off process it's universal distress not just in that distress as universal but also in that the distress of the entire universe in subtle ways added up to that moment in the time space as the individual accumulated in action when you add this up across individuals many are ready to act out as they don't know how to act to solve this distress of the universe how does one save the universe one universe at a time universal distress is universal because we're each a universe a verse of a song that unites us the ego sang songs that separate us we act in personal disorder because we are not acting in person all order I was thinking to this training I took about how emotion can erupt into behavior an emotion is sort of the accumulation of the allostatic load and then eventually it can erupt into behavior well this is sort of what happens with someone who goes into map consciousness all of this behavior comes out that is a result of accumulated emotion and I think it's not just personal emotion because if it was just personal it wouldn't really be enough to make that happen what can happen is that a person gets more into hyper perception into the highly sensitive person aspects of oneself that one was conditioned out of feeling and when one does all of a sudden all the implications of all the built up emotions now are stacked up in that person's consciousness it's not just the emotions of what one logically sort of thought was the troubles but everything everything that one didn't know one was participating with actually is there it's like the accumulated Karma it's actually going over one's life karma and past lives karma in this life now and and navigating that is resolving that karma

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