it's so interesting that I was talking so much about dopamine brain in my last videos I think and then I listen to this talk by J Krishnamurti and David Bohm it was the 12th talk they had in 1975 and it's a really amazing bunch of conversations or dialogues and one could probably listen to it a million times over and get something different and I listened to it a number of months ago but when I listen to it this time everything they were talking about was exactly what I was saying with regard to the dopamine brain but they didn't say dopamine they said desire which is the same as pleasure and they are even talking about thought and thought is the same in a way as the ego but the ego sounds like an actual thing whereas thought is just individual thoughts which is one's voice and one's own head and they were basically talking about how that process is self-deception pretty much creating pleasure responses in order to deceive oneself because it's just getting pleasure from images so it's not really related to reality and i'll probably do a video soon about that because there were so many parallels but the one that was most incredible was at the end when Krishnamurti was talking about compassion he was talking about the word compassion and he was saying that word just really has effect on you like it's amazing but then what he was saying was that compassion is always different it's a mystery it's always different it's always a Infinite and he was really talking about that for not very long but it reminded me of what I was seeing about how I was talking about the inner human dimensions and how it might arise as play or as love or as spontaneity and then I went on to say that it's really always different each moment and that's sort of what he was saying about the word compassion that it's an unfolding and it's always different in that state of love Beauty truth is also compassion which is always different it's not a certain thing that was really interesting to me that that whole talk was sort of a mirror of what I was saying to myself in self dialogue and I think that endogenous biomolecules of the ego voice that are created when we're listening to our ego voice are different than when we're listening to the endo means of direct perception of actuality and interestingly enough I watched a Jason Silva video today on can we change the past and he was talking a lot about what it is I'm doing in a way because he was talking about if we reframe our story we actually changed the past because we're writing over that other store and we tele tell ourselves and i'll get to more of that later but he was pretty much describing exactly what it is that I'm doing so in a way it's becoming less congruent for me to work in mental health because I'm creating all this other context I'm trying to tell myself a different story and reframe and recontextualize even use the word recontextualize and that's what this is I'm recontextualizing this mental illness diagnosis based on what I perceived initially and I'm harvesting that and I've always had that held close to my heart but I've never spoken about it and I still don't have people to speak to about it so I'm just talking to myself and I was thinking about what is the quote unquote reward of the other state when we're not in a dopamine dominant brain state and I feel like it's actually the energy when we have direct perception we truly understand something we get energy we get a bit of a jolt of energy and we can't understand something when we're in our ego voice consciousness and it's wasting our energy so that waste of energy is preventing us from seeing which makes sense because we're meeting and that's preventing the eyes from actually directly perceiving something it's too busy creating impressions of past memories to take proper impressions of the reality all around so that other state is learning understanding creating playing and it would be always different each moment like the state of compassion and the unfolding of the inner human dimensions and in that way since it's always changing and always unfolding and we're not going back to past memory knowledge which is a waste of energy and interferes with the unfolding process then we're always regenerating that energy because we're not wasting it and when we're always learning and understanding in that way and getting energy we don't feel the need for pleasure pleasure is given its proper place and I think the manic consciousness experience gives us an imprint of something else to move toward and I wrote that and then when I looked at the Timothy Leary book he talks about imprints he talks about imprinting the Taoist experience by taking LSD well I don't think it's necessary to take LSD in order to have that imprinted I think the universe does it for us in a lot of circumstances and we can sometimes take different substances to get that imprint if we need it but it only gives us the imprint and it's like a map that we have to move towards creating that's our free well as human beings is to move towards creating the imprint from the universe or move towards recreating this society that has been created by thought and I think that's part of the harvest germania is to go back to that imprint and play the game of moving back towards that not play the game of trying to reintegrate into the game of society and I think both can be balanced and I think the thing with it too is to try to get back to that manic imprint there's probably infinite paths and there's no path at the same time it's just a big experiment it's not like well I'm going to step 1 i'm going to do this step 2 i'm going to do this that's not going to get us back there it's going to get us back in the same cog in the machine of society that we're already trying to be funneled back into and i think it's still okay to be funneled back but also keep this other awareness in mind it's like having a dual awareness of what's happening and what's possible and so that imprint by embodying armenia we can move back to the imprint and i think it imprints it in our whole body organism in our brain in our nervous system in our neurology it's an it's a map it's a different map besides the ego map which is just the few associative memories and things we choose to remember about our experiences and repeat this gives us an entire map so we don't have to repeat anything and it's actually it's actually not supposed to be made into any sort of habit that's the thing with map consciousness that comes in and it breaks our habits and we're free society tries to make us into habits so then we're predictable thought is fear of uncertainty and that's why it it thinks it knows because it's afraid of uncertainty it doesn't know how to not know because thought innately is a pseudo mechanism of knowing but it's actually false it's actually delusion its self deception its pleasure seeking within the images in our memory banks in order to help us move through the present moment which actually makes us incongruent uncertainty is required for learning and the learning state is the only state where we're always learning something new and so it's always unfolding differently and in this way we get energy and we don't use the dopamine circuits to repeat old images to give us pleasure and avoid the painful memories and with that David Bowman Krishnamurti talk they said we don't know how to use our brains or how the brain should operate and that's so true and I think manic consciousness tries to show us a different way to use our minds and brains that were not used to and it takes a bit of getting used to and it could almost be that the only thing that needs getting used to is breaking from all of our habit structures it could just be that cold lingering habits structures are getting in the way and not that we're really struggling operating in that other mode that's usually when it gets scary when the ego starts to come in and mix with that process and it's pretty difficult to prevent that from happening because society is so based on the ego that it just starts to come back it's almost like with each entry way into the map consciousness it might actually get stronger within us the mental health system is loves to say Oh each time you go into that crisis state or psychosis or whatever is going to be worse and worse maybe it's better and better maybe it's like strength training I think Timothy Leary mentions in his book the term epistemology and epistemology definition is the theory of knowledge especially regarding its methods validity and scope and I feel like I'm creating new knowledge for myself by having self dialogue and the method is harvesting my mania and different map consciousness states that I've experienced and also by talking to myself self dialogue and the validity is subjective it's endo mimetic it's also I think I need a different term for endo means that are harvested versus endo memes that are perceived in the moment so I have some endo memes from considering my earlier states of map consciousness five and a half years ago and then I have endo means that I'm actually creating and seeing by unfolding and writing so some is it sums old sums nous sommes borrowed son's blew it seems like a different process when the memes come from endo memes I'm not sure what it is it's like this I can look at the original imprint from the map consciousness and and develop memes and then there's memes that come out of writing down those memes and then talking about them I'm not sure I also didn't consider how it's going to get dark I also looked up the term semantics which is the study of meaning and I think that I'm creating some manic semantics for myself it could even be semantics instead of semantics semantics structure and it also looked up pragmatics which is the study about the way in which context contributes to meaning so i think i'm creating through self dialogue at least with myself my own manic pragmatics or pragmatics i'm creating lots of context not to say it's factual per se but it's just contacts that's contributing to the meaning making process there's the context that is prevalent in society which is that it's pathological mental illness and I'm talking to myself about a different context because if I frame my experience within the context that is prevalent it has a completely different meaning than if I frame it within a context that I'm co-creating with myself by self dialogue and I don't even feel like I can frame my experience within mental illness pathology it's against my religion I listen to another Krishnamurti talk and he said meditation is unpremeditated art it's really interesting because that's why he says there's no path there's no system to meditation if you can't plan it you can't say oh I'm going to meditate and that's going to mean I'm in meditation by sitting there because if it's premeditated it's not meditation so it has to be unpremeditated art and he talks about how meditation is in daily life in daily actions it's not about sitting there quietly for 20 minutes to go on and be rude to people the rest of the day for example that serves no purpose it's more like being able to calm oneself down so one can go out again and be an ass and that's why I struggle with even certain programs about bipolar being like well let's learn to behave so we can fit in in the COG of machine to society which is the problem in the first place when this transformative consciousness is trying to get us to transform so we can transform the world I found a little light I wonder how long it takes before sitting at a park in one's car generates suspiciousness I started to listen to the Krishnamurti and David Bohm talk and they were talking about how the knowledge of good and evil was sort of the fall of Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden now singing myself it wasn't necessarily that they chose evil which is generally implied in the knowledge of good and evil I think it's actually that they know good and evil they know right and wrong they know good from bad which was probably their own personal measure of what was right and wrong what's good and bad which is the whole dopamine reflex so I feel like it's actually the dopamine reflex that they chose which is the measure of the mind which is programmed by the ego and society which I guess there was no ego to program it but it was like that was the first move of society versus oneness and it's also related to making judgments and I was thinking about what I said before how the brain is like a spaceship it's like a time travel device it moves us through space and time and our inner space and inner time is created by the ego and so when the universe gives us map consciousness or sort of like a psychedelic experience we're going into uncharted territories but at the same time we're charting that territory we're mapping it we're creating that imprint within ourselves and I was thinking too that the ego creates inner space and time and is always moving us away from now through its remembrances of the past and in dopamine and I feel like map consciousness it leads us all over the place in a way in inner space and time even to the collective unconscious in human history to actually get us back to the present moment it's almost like all of those seconds of one's life which is most one's life going astray one has to go through all this other territory to actually get back to the present moment and Timothy Leary mentioned in this book that phrase domestication of consciousness and not really resonated with me in terms of what it's like when a person when I was medicated it's like to read domesticate me to consensus reality and that's why I say these medications help me stay grounded in consensus reality they prevent my consciousness from going into map consciousness and trying to make new maps of reality in order to act and embody and create a different reality and he also mentioned too that there's a strong taboo against brain change and he was speaking about in terms of people that say want to take substances to change their consciousness what about the people that their consciousness changes without taking substances and then medical system comes in and says I'll give you a substance to keep you from changing your brain state without you changing it without you doing anything mania is a brain change and that's almost implied in what they say with mental illness like something's change in the brain and now it's diseased well it's a brain change but I don't think it needs to be turned into a disease and I wonder too with the universe imprinting so many of our brains and our brains being imprinted by people that take substances that imprint is sort of like the imprint of how things are it's kind of like wondering are we going to get with the imprint program Timothy Leary talks about how our brain has like eight different dimensions of God or something and one of them is that there's a neurological engineer and we can rebuild new neural realities well I think this energy of map consciousness when it comes in is helping us to build different neural realities a person that takes a substance might stay in an altered state for four hours but when the universe puts this energy through one's consciousness one can stay in the other states for longer periods of time so that is going to actually build that imprint stronger and build those neural realities stronger than just a very temporary drug and he says he talks about the psychopharmacology to tune one's own brain and I think that's due to epi genetics and epi mimetics and endo mimetics and gestures because we if we rely on chemical means to get those states it's going to create the imprint it's going to create it temporarily it's going to create a very weak neural reality but it's how do we have to be as human beings in order for that reality to exist for us as us what gestures and what ways of being create that inner psychopharmacology that those endogenous bio molecules that we need in order for those feelings states to actually create the neural networks so releasing a bit of those neurotransmitters is going to help slowly build those neural realities and those neural networks just as the dopamine reflex and the dopamine neural networks have been very strongly active dated producing dopamine dopamine and those associated neurons other ways of being other other indigenous biomolecules are going to create different neural circuits and different neural realities I think that's what the map consciousness state is trying to do but it's being hijacked and I think it's perhaps happening that as I create new semantics and semantics and pragmatics I can further explore these other ways and I wonder actually now that I'm saying it I'm sort of learning and I'm learning something new and I'm learning something new and it's not necessarily true as in something that was written in a scientific paper but it's true for me subjectively or it's at least something i'm curious about we're wandering about so what I'm saying is this is like a never-ending learning process that I've initiated with myself and that is giving me the energy that i was talking about and perhaps that energy and this always learning is creating different circuits in my brain and maybe it's creating lots and lots of different circuits because I'm not necessarily strengthening any one thing and this is me just talking about some talking talking talking creating context may be creating contextual neurons and contextual biomolecules and pathways so hopefully when I get to the point of epi gesture etics which I don't know if I said that it's gesturing in order to change genetics I want to get there it'll be more powerful within the context that I've created by self dialogue so it could just be a brain change that happens and it's not necessarily mental illness the brain changing since we're so addicted to consistency we find it quite disturbing and our brains are no longer logical in the classic sense of logic I feel like they're trans logical or or trans rational and with time we can actually rien clewd rationality as part of it and give rationality its proper place it's almost like we have all this rationality written over our hearts and map consciousness comes in and gets rid of all of it in order for us to develop a bit of a new rationality and the thing with when one can see with one's heart in that empathetic state and read patterns it makes it easier to discern that but the trouble is we feel the pain of it so instead of being in that sort of dopamine reward pleasure circuit we're actually in a circuit of perceiving reality which sometimes can be painful and that's one of the reasons why people prefer to be stuck in the dopamine circuit to avoid what it is that they're really seeing and doing and what's really going on out there so it becomes a more rich experience but it can also be more trying and it can be difficult and scary because one can get really angry and upset over something and maybe look like they're overreacting when it's not necessarily an overreaction when one considers the implications of what it is that someone is perceiving and extrapolates the full context and meaning behind it which could go back say 2000 years so one could be having a bit of a cow over something that is a distant memory but one can see that in the action and that's why it's difficult for me to work in the mental health system is its I don't just see the logical rational little bit of information in front of me I see all the implications of it I see all the implications and extrapolations and and it can be like information overload I feel like there is a manic ethics there's ethics of society but mania and psychosis as it's called map consciousness connects us with a different ethics and it's an ethics more related to present moment so that's why one can be more active in the present moment I don't want to say reactive because it's actually action it's seeing something and acting immediately to what is happening now in the moment versus reaction being reacting to one's own memories and unconsciously and this is actually this action is about being super present to the actuality of what is going on other people see it as over reaction because they can't feel it and they might think oh that's good and I'm lucky that I can't feel it but why is it happening that so many people are getting to the point where they're losing their mind and say dementia something probably to do with dopamine and not actually being in the present moment so eventually one is not in not even present at all it's just probably a natural progression of dopamine consciousness and Timothy Leary talked about cosmology and it's related to galactic evolution I think mania has a cosmological level to it and maybe that's why a lot of what I talk about with myself has to do with something beyond just individual stuff like individual goals or individual this or individual mental illness I don't really see it that way and it's probably because map consciousness has changed my consciousness in such a way that I don't see it that way and maybe that's part of it is that Gaia needs us to have a different vantage point to be able to see things from so many different angles I don't just see things from my own personal angle I see it from many different angles and I think that gestures build on the imprint brain circuits so with that initial imprint in manic consciousness certain gestures will actually build on that imprint and it could be pretty infinite in terms of that and I think it is because each of us needs to be infinitely non-consistent and if each one of us were that way we would be building a different reality because right now we're building one based on our imprint programming of society and we're each doing that and we're just repeating things so in that way it's a very limited map a very limited compass so this is trying to actually I think it creates an encompassing map so right now we have this ego compass of limited thought structures and thinking about oneself and then the matted consciousness comes in and encompass is acid it it makes a huge infinite context for which to explore and experience and understand ourselves and create actuality versus recreate reality

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