Bird Call Review

Jeremy and Michael review the Northern Mockingbird and discuss Cal Worthington’s pussy-cow, decision trees for shooting animals vs children, products we love, clothes we hate, Dr. Dick & Co’s penis transplants, Dr. Heimlich’s maneuvering, gross children, birth control ads, lose-lose disciplinary action, Elmer the Grunch®, fictional cookie backstories, white male action movie strippers, Making America Mic-Drop Again, and asian spaghetti.

Jeremy and Michael review the Mexican Whip-poor-will and discuss nature’s cold indifference, drinking games for children, Channing Taitum’s football career, Missing Missy, asshole doppelgängers, asshole GoPros, chinks and redskins, being a literal pussy, attractive scientists, burning children and friends, stabbing and sex, knowing Adolf, adopting Pluto, getting the job done, and all the long ways always takes.

Jeremy and Michael review the Tufted Titmouse and discuss TurboTax-shaming guilt, ornithological songwriting, nostalgia peer-pressure, glacial humblebrags of glacial proportions, the $2 not-having-to-do-math-with-your-friends tax, the statical relationship of money and problems, and glass punting. Michael uses a bunch of jargon to ask absolutely nothing about taste and Jeremy has a clarifying moment that leads him to retract his criticism of the Vegetti.

Jeremy and Michael review the Carolina Wren and discuss scattered Chalet servers, Crossfit cults, pre-tipping, APM shaming, Italian margins and French Toast, pallets of butter and at-cost corndogs, why old comedians suck, puppies, sunsets, and sex.

Jeremy and Michael review the Mourning Dove and discuss mass cat breeding, Jeremy’s NRA cap and ass-boots, bulk dildos on Amazon Prime, grammar pleasures, Nike-swooped fifth wheels, “h” phoenetics, Lego APR, and self-aware salesman.

Jeremy and Michael review the Great Blue Heron and discuss keeping clean with Vegetti, Orga*ms, testicular discovery, tasteful drowning, Bane, M. Night Shyamalan’s achilles heel, break-ins, punching John Mayer in the throat, The Tesla Goldwing, who The Queen is, and Will tells us why Bane has tube-face-thingies.

Jeremy and Michael review the Wood Thrush and discuss dial-up pornography, Board Sauce, the science of barefoot filth, Bro-rock Obama, bigotry futures, twin futures, and beating ass in prison.

Jeremy, Michael, and Zack review the Limpkin and discuss shoe discoveries, seal deaths, Seal, bi-standards, talking about sex with children, Seal, duck sex, rib sandwiches, Disneyland’s corndogs, “the first road to recovery,” Seal, pluck preauthorizations, UX, and Seal. Things get fuzzy, then Seal.

Jeremy and Michael review the Montezuma Oropendola and discuss social media gaggles, wagging the dick, that quesalupa ad with the asian Star Trek guy and the memes, space travel, AI, how many Rhode Islands fit in Texas, sword-wielding strippers, polyps, and uvulas.

Jeremy and Michael review the northern pygmy-owl and discuss how to battle a cold, the centaurs of Wikipedia, house flies, aioli, the horror of listening to yourself speak, why we see movies in groups, the sociology of running, death of The Onion, selling out, insufferable human qualities, apologizing, and car accidents.