BIRD PROTOCOL

What is good, homies?! Welcome to 2022! It’s the first episode of BIRD PROTOCOL of the year! Obviously, because both of us are film scholars, we decided to talk about a movie with substance… just kidding, we’re talking about the one where giant robots and inter-dimensional aliens beat the absolute snot out of each other. This week we’re tackling Guillermo Del Toro’s 2013 sci-fi action Kaiju film “Pacific Rim”. It’s a guilty pleasure for both of us and, although it isn’t a masterpiece, it delivers both visually and on its relatively simple but kick-ass premise. This is a film is a popcorn flick that does an awesome job delivering huge fights, awesome visuals/design, and top-notch world-building. It’s a Del Toro flick, so that is to be expected, but don’t dig too deep… in fact, we recommend that you don’t because it gets a little silly the harder that you look at it.

We break down the film and talk about what they should have done with the franchise, what kicks ass about the movie, the incredible Kaiju and Jaeger designs, the wild character names, Del Toro’s body of work and Spanish cinema’s obsession with monsters, Charlie Hunnam’s career and him screaming “Mako!” too much in this movie, Idris Elba going hard, the influence of Japanese media, the lore of “Pacific Rim”, that really good intro montage, a Latin rockabilly Elvis named Tendo Choi, Ron Perlman’s voice, redemption, self-sacrifice, and a whole lot more. It’s a movie about giant robots and aliens fighting. You get exactly what you want… Exactly what you need… Epic mechanized violence.

Plus, we break down the issues with the film that become far more apparent the more layers you pull back. How is everything being solved in the 25th hour? Why didn’t they use basic math to figure out the increasing speed of attacks sooner? Why aren’t the Jaegers improving over time? Did nobody think to put some lead in the Jaeger cockpits to stop radiation poisoning? Wouldn’t nations want to keep building Jaegers to consolidate their power after the war was over? Why didn’t they get some UFC fighters or Krav Maga black belts to really put the hurt on the Kaiju? I mean, the most realistic thing in the movie is that the government decided to stop spending money and build a useless wall in an attempt to stop the uh… giant alien kill machines from devastating humanity. Typical.

Today we’re canceling the apocalypse (for some tweets from 2009)! Let’s get to it.

Check out “Santa Slays” starring and scored by Otis!

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Ayo! We’ve arrived at the last episode of BIRD PROTOCOL for 2021! Can you believe it?! Thank you all so much for rocking with us this year. We’ve been growing, slowly and steadily, since we returned to the show in April and we are both so grateful to everyone who has tuned in. We have so much fun doing this every week and it’s become such a huge part of our lives... so thank you for taking the time to listen to us rant and rave about our favourite stuff. And, to all our guests and collaborators, thank you for being a part of the BIRD PROTOCOL family. We’re super proud of how far we’ve come. Let’s look back on the past year. It’s been a wild ride.

Welcome to the first annual Bird Report - a candid conversation about our favourite shows, movies, games, and albums of 2021. We’re doing our own version of “A Year In Review” which is not really a collection of objective lists but a more subjective exploration of our personal favourites and the things that we really loved from this year (good or bad). We also chat about the highs and lows of 2021 and share our hopes for 2022. It gets a little emotional at the end. We can’t help it, we’re sensitive guys.

Here are some rough timestamps:

Movies - 7:90

Thanks for an amazing year! Onwards and upwards in 2022. Happy New Year’s Eve!

Check out “Santa Slays” starring and scored by Otis!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZe4xpFB5Mc&ab_channel=MichaelMalko

STREAM “PRESSURE” BY PALMREADER:

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STREAM “CORPUS CHRISTI” by DR. MEATSSS:

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We’re back with a controversial pick this holiday season and the last film of 2021. Some people love it, some people hate it… some people REALLY hate it… but who cares! This week we’re diving into Adam Sandler’s 2002 animated film “Eight Crazy Nights.” What? You thought we were gonna talk about “Die Hard”? Get outta here.

This movie is by no means a masterpiece and we will be the first to admit that. Yet, when it was released, it was eviscerated by critics and hailed as a” nauseating concoction" to be avoided like the plague. Yeah, of course, there are some things that haven’t aged well and some things that could be removed from it altogether, but is this movie really that bad? Upon retrospection (after almost twenty years), there are some things that actually kind of work and it is coded with the Sandler cinematic DNA in an honest, almost endearing, way. We pick through the film and dare to ask the question, “Is this really as bad as people say?” The answer is no. It’s not. Turn off your brain and laugh at some deer licking poop off a tiny frozen man. It’s an Adam Sandler movie from 2002. C’mon, you knew what you were in for when you started it up.

Crude, crass, and somehow kind of heartwarming… this film puts a spin on the holiday season as only the Sandman can. It touches on some real heavy stuff like alcoholism, the foster care system, redemption, and self-worth. It’s actually kinda deep. Of course, some of the stuff in this film is just plain ol’ potty humour but with films like “Superbad”, “Step Brothers”, “Sausage Party”, and “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” now being hailed as comedy classics, what more can be said about this film upon a revisit? Probably that Rob Schneider can easily be removed from most things. Still, this film has its moments.

We also talk about Sandler’s career, which is full of hits and misses, and why he deserves some respect put on his name. Plus, “Uncut Gems” and “Punch Drunk Love” are absolute BANGERS. We also have some in-depth talks about context, comedy, Holiday films, being evil, homophobic Michael Meyers, what constitutes a Christmas movie and Otis rants about “Love Actually”.

We’re back next week with the first-ever “Bird Report" - a look back on all the fun stuff we’ve watched/played/listened to in 2021. Plus, some of our good memories and hilarious antics.

Have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everybody!

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STREAM “CORPUS CHRISTI” by DR. MEATSSS:

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What’s good!? Welcome to another episode of BIRD PROTOCOL! This week the bird boys are talking about an amazing band from the UK known as IDLES. IDLES has quickly become one of our favourite new bands for so many reasons, most of which are explained in this pod, and we’re stoked to talk about them and share them with you. A mixture of guitar-driven post-punk, danceable grooves, incredible lyricism, and unique vocals… IDLES hasn’t missed yet. Every one of their albums slap. No lie.

In this episode, we chat about what makes IDLES so great - their history as a band, their lyrical and musical style, their live shows, the high-quality music videos they produce, the vulnerability, relatability and emotion in their songs, their mastery of guitar, their excellent songwriting. All of it. We cover all four of their albums, from “Brutalism” to “Joy As An Act Of Resistance” to “Ultra Mono” to the recently released “CRAWLER”, and break down what makes each of them so special and unique. Highly praised by critics, incredible live, and just so damn fun… IDLES rules. Plus, we explore their ethos as a band and their tendency to turn long-standing genre conventions on their head, challenging the listener to think differently. They’re a one-of-a-kind band and a prime example of a musical act growing and changing over time while still holding true to their sound (with “CRAWLER” being their most experimental release to date).

We also jumped at the chance to talk about one of our favourite producers and engineers Kenny Beats and how his collaboration with IDLES on “CRAWLER” elevated the album to new heights. He’s already known as an incredible hip-hop, rap, and pop producer and is constantly growing, proving himself to be one of the most impressive and prescient figures in modern music. Furthermore, the bird boys talk about music festivals, UK rock and punk bands, grime music, the upcoming “Bird Report”, and Otis gets a letter from his client DR. MEATSSS.

Tap in! This one is a good one!

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This week the bird boys link up across the border and chop it up about a flawed classic and what some call the “last of the great American epics”, Martin Scorsese’s “Gangs Of New York”. This movie took over 30 years to get made and, although flawed, features some really amazing work from Scorsese and his talented cast and crew. “Gangs Of New York” is a story of many things... revenge, democracy, religion, corruption, violence, immigration, crime, and many other things that would come make up the city of New York and America as a whole. It functions as both a straightforward narrative and a commentary on the founding of democracy in the new world. Plus, the cast is just incredible… Daniel Day-Lewis, Leonardo DiCaprio, John C. Reilly, Brendan Gleeson, and Liam Neeson (just to name a few). Unreal.

From a mile-long recreation of 1800s New York built in Rome to Daniel Day-Lewis’ insane method acting and his role as the ruthless William “Bill The Butcher” Cutting to the technical prowess of Scorsese to early DiCaprio breaking from the expectations of his career… this movie has tons of stuff to love. No, it’s not the best Scorsese film, but it features some of the best parts of Scorsese’s cinematic DNA and is worth a rewatch. Plus, white on white racism, Brendan Gleeson’s turn as Monk and his tragic death on screen, the killer supporting cast, the struggles of immigrants and the violence against those who make up the backbone of American society throughout history, that incredible opening sequence, Bill the Butcher being one of the most memorable and most evil characters ever, Leo’s meteoric rise in the aughts and his many collaborations with amazing directors over the years, the historical inaccuracies in the film and the surprising stuff that is actually true, Amsterdam and McGloin’s bar fight and New York’s predisposition to gambling, a Daniel Day-Lewis character face-off, the power of a Scorsese montage, and a whole lot more.

But, as we said before, this film definitely has its flaws, so we talk about the pacing issues in the last couple acts of the film, Cameron Diaz being pretty boring and lackluster in this movie, her horrible Irish accent, that stupidly slow “chase” scene between Leo and Diaz in uptown, all the extra political/class-related stuff that pops up during and just before the Draft Riots and the end of the film, why the first two-thirds of this film are so much more enjoyable to watch, and more. Plus, we ask would this movie work better as a limited series? Can we recast Cameron Diaz? Did we get the emotional payoff we deserved in the story of Amsterdam and Bill Cutting? Is Scorsese too focused on the bigger picture and too heavy-handed at the end of the movie? Or does it ultimately work really well as an extended allegory?

Plus, Otis didn’t get the right record in the mail twice in a row now but might still be able to game the system and win, PALMREADER waking up to gunshots in Pennsylvania, crossing the U.S. border, a surprising interaction with the border agent, figuring out how to get a free COVID test to come home, Otis might be shadowbanned, and a couple more ravings from the bird boys.

Prepare to receive the true Lord!

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Here’s the teaser:

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The bird boys are back for another Lazy Bird episode after a refreshing week off! We invite you to join us once again for an evening of stimulating conversion along with a healthy dose of ranting and raving. As usual, we touch on what’s been going on in our lives, what we are watching/playing, and ramble about whatever else is on our minds.

This week, Otis’ talks about his strange experience at a comedy show in the twilight zone known as Guelph, PALMREADER discusses going on a trip for the first time in two years and the odd anxieties around traveling in this stage of the pandemic, the price of COVID testing in the USA, life slowly returning to normal, our trip to Fear Farm, pandemic brain fog, writing stupid music as a palette cleanser, Ric Flair and a bunch of drunk wrestlers wreaking havoc on a private jet, the inevitable Netflix show on the Brian Laundrie case and other true crime documentaries, Brock Lesnar’s daughter being able to beat up both of us, “Tiger King” season one and two, and more.

Plus, PALMREADER breaks down his latest obsession, “Jurassic World Evolution 2”, and why he enjoys it more than the first. Plus, other park management games, bugs being unnecessarily ugly, wasps being creatures of pure evil, “The Time Machine”, Guy Pearce as an enigma, Jamie Foxx being crazy talented, the new “Spider-Man: No Way Home trailer” and the various mistakes the studio is making in regards to the worst kept secret (the return of Tobey and Andrew), PS5 loading times, Otis gives us an update on the “Ghost Of Tsushima” DLC, “Until Dawn”, the new “Battlefield” game and a look back on “Battlefield 1” and Battlefield V”.

We also chat about paid subscriptions in games and where we think they work and where they don’t, why we’re still not playing any “Call Of Duty” games, the price of video games now, “Elden Ring”, “Vikings”, “Hell’s Kitchen”, “Invasion”, “Red Notice”, The Rock always being The Rock in movies, “You” seasons one and two, “Dexter” is back, some rambling about horror films post-Halloween, and more.

We’ll be back next week with a regular episode. In the meantime…

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Here’s the teaser:

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This week, the bird boys are closing out the Halloween season with an absolute banger of a movie and a stellar third bird (that’s what we call our guest co-hosts now, get with it). This is probably the longest episode of BP but it is 1000% worth the listen. In this episode, we are joined by rapper/producer/all-around dope human being STEVEDAVE to talk about Stanley Kubrick’s 1980 masterpiece “The Shining” and quickly dive off the deep end. This movie is so complex, well-done, and important that keeping this episode from going on forever was no easy task. This is one hell of a way to close out BIRD PROTOCOL’s spooktacular series. Tap in.

In this episode, we talk about the film’s themes, narrative and tone, the incredible set design, the cinematography and shot framing, the lore and mythology that surround it, the various conspiracies attached to it, the cultural significance and cinematic legacy of the film, Kubrick’s technical genius and his methodical, detailed and insane filmmaking style, Jack Nicholson firing on all cylinders at all times, Shelley Duvall being deeply horrified on screen and in real life during the making of this film, the mythical 127 take stairway scene, Stephen King, the iconography and seemingly endless reworks of elements from “The Shining” in pop culture, the use of sound and sound design, the ambiguity of space in the Overlook Hotel, Kubrick’s version of the story and why it works better as a film (as opposed to King’s version), and a whole lot more.

Plus, a lively discussion on the film being an allegory for various darker ideas (addiction, abuse, genocide), the “shine”, Jack Nicholson not blinking being absolutely terrifying, Kubrick’s view of art and filmmaking, the existence of ghosts and evil, Kubrick going too far as a filmmaker or “artistic sociopathy”, auteurism, stories from the set of “Eyes Wide Shut”, a look at other amazing Kubrick films, horror themes earning their payoff, certain horror tropes that have been played out, Mike Flanagan’s “Doctor Sleep” film, Kubrick faking the moon landing, Tom Cruise having little dick syndrome, Jack Torrence being insane from the jump, Rob Zombie, and a lot more insanity.

This was such a fun episode. Huge thanks to the homie STEVEDAVE for being a part of it.

Follow STEVEDAVE and check out his tunes by searching @stevedave4lyfe on IG, TikTok, and Twitter.

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The bird boys are locked, loaded, and ready to face a horde of the undead. This week, we’re talking about Turtle Rock Studios’ stellar “Left 4 Dead” video game series and the rebirth of zombie slaying madness in their most recent release, “Back 4 Blood” on next-gen consoles. This series has been hugely present in both of our lives so you can be sure we’re going extra hard this week. Stock up on ammo and med-packs and be sure not to startle the witch... It’s zombie killing time. Welcome to part three of BIRD PROTOCOL’s Halloween spooktacular series!

In this episode, we reminisce about our experience with the series and chat about our current playthrough of B4B, praise the multiplayer aspect of the games, revisit our favourite levels and discuss which special infected freaks them out the most, unpack why the director AI makes this game so damn replayable, share their memories of the hours upon hours spent with the “Left 4 Dead” games, and dive deep on all three games and their legacy.

It’s easy to see that these games have constantly improved upon a killer foundation which makes them so much fun to play. The “Left 4 Dead” series was, and still is, so so dope, and everyone should be stoked that we finally got a spiritual sequel in “Back 4 Blood”. We chat about all the new additions (perk cards, corruption cards, and weapon customization), the new special infected, the changes the studio made to the zombie killing structure and narrative, the fidelity to the original series that makes “Back 4 Blood” a perfect successor to L4D, and (for fairness) suggest some ways the game could be improved in the coming updates.

Whether you’re out there facing waves of undead infected with the green flu or the alien devil worm… the bird boys got you covered. Happy Halloween!

Next week, we’re closing out our Halloween run with a bang. Tune in.

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The bird boys are back for round two of our Halloween spooktacular! This week the boys decided to take on one of PALMREADER’s favourite horror-adjacent comedy films, Mel Brooks' “Dracula: Dead And Loving It”. This film… is… well, let’s be real here, the critics didn’t like it much but WE CERTAINLY DO. Can you believe Rotten Tomatoes gave it an 11%?! Unreal. Criminal. Uncalled for. Illegal, almost. We take some time to unpack the legacy, context, and release of this film and compare the audience reviews to what the critics had to say. If you listened to last week’s episode you’d already know that for some reason “critics” didn’t take comedy and horror seriously for a long time. Does it really deserve that rating? We say no. Not at all.

If you’re a fan of Mel Brooks and/or Leslie Nielsen and you like a good laugh, you will definitely enjoy this film. “Dracula: Dead And Loving It” is a slapstick satirical comedy based around the story of Bram Stoker’s Dracula. This film is just so much fun... full of laughs, gags, and witty writing. Super easy to watch and very silly. In this episode, we discuss some of our favourite scenes, hilarious lines, and what makes this movie really work. Plus, we talk about Mel Brooks, his status as a titan of comedy, muse on some of his other amazing works, and praise him for being so damn good at what he does. We also explore Leslie Nielsen’s career. may he rest in power, and chat about some of our favourite roles and movies. There’s also some Mel Brooks' Van Helsing impersonations, talk of voluptuous women, blood-sucking, hypnosis, and a bunch more. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

We also chat about vampires/vampire movies in general (there are so many) and try to rank our favourites, PALMREADER gushes about the new Netflix series “Midnight Mass” by Mike Flanagan (it’s so damn good), John Constantine, tulpas, Mahershala Ali as Blade, Marvel’s coming exploration of their darker characters, vampire and zombie fatigue, Max Brooks' novel “World War Z”, give an update on Otis’ various film projects, and a bunch more random stuff.

Next week? It’s a surprise! Tune in to find out.

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Here’s the teaser:

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This week the bird boys kick off their selection of spooky flicks for the Halloween season by revisiting an influential cult classic that was hated when it dropped but has quietly become one of the most important and best sci-fi horror films. Get your flamethrowers ready and step out into the cold… it’s John Carpenter’s “The Thing”. Based on the 1938 John W. Campbell Jr. novella “Who Goes There?”, this movie centers around a group of researchers facing off against an alien enemy that can assimilate and become any form. This film is a masterclass in disgusting alien body horror.

In this episode, we talk about the movie’s cultural impact, the amazing use of practical effects, body horror, the palpable tension and psychological aspects of the film, Kurt Russell being a badass, John Carpenter, flamethrowers, whiskey, proper dynamite and flare holding etiquette, dogs dying in horror movies, the uncanny other, the amazing ending, the film’s reception when it was released, how it holds up almost 40 years later, and a whole lot more.

Plus, we dive into the horror genre as a whole, what makes us love certain types of horror films, the useless idea of high and low art, the importance cultural impact has on a film's longevity, the first “Saw” movie, “His Girl Friday”, “Dumb And Dumber”, “Blade Runner”, the film’s amazing soundtrack by Ennio Morricone, and mid-episode we realize that “The Thing” is basically just a Western (kind of). 

We also rant about how dumb the critics were to dismiss this as the “quintessential moron movie of the 80’s” because… c’mon, dude. Really?! Also, we ask if the broad idea of “Classic Hollywood Cinema” is really the benchmark that we should be using in criticism today? Or at all? With cinema being an ever-evolving medium, should it ever have been something that you compare to movies after the New Hollywood movement? Hmmm. Much to think about.

“The Thing” is an incredible film. What else can we say? Go watch it if you haven't.

Next week? A horror/comedy from the master Mel Brooks and the incredible Leslie Neilson, “Dracula: Dead And Loving It”.

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Here’s the teaser:

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