Your words create your reality — does this apply in the birth space?

This week on Birth: The Middle Way we are joined again by the wise and wonderful Catalina Clark, mother, midwife, and sister to birthing women.

Our conversation begins with unravelling the phrase “a woman’s birth is a mirror to her inner world”; the truths woven within these words as well as the potentially problematic layers that are present when we articulate birth in such a way.

Catalina shares an idea that: How you do one thing, is how you do everything — or phrased in an alternative way: How you relate to one thing, is how you relate to everything.

Beyond belief, this is a curious contemplation between three women, 3 mothers, 3 women who care deeply about birth. This opens a door to choosing to challenge our perspectives and perceptions which can ultimately expand our awarenesses to hold polarities with reverence.

Is there a way to honour spiritual concepts and humanness in birth as well as death spaces?

Amongst many other threads, we ultimately explore the current state of consciousness surrounding birth held by humanity and how that relates to the (true and untrue) history of childbirth.

This episode is sure to get you reflecting and contemplating. So grab yourself a cup of tea (perhaps a pen and paper), a cozy blanket, and settle in for a deeply thought provoking conversation.

In reverence,

Emma Cardinal & Sami Love

Reference materials mentioned in todays episode

The Healers Calling - A Spirituality for Physicians and Other Care ProfessionalsBy: Daniel P. Sulmasy

Witches, Midwives, & Nurses - A History of Women HealersBy: Barbara Ehrenreich & Deirdre English

Dr. Nathan Riley on the Born Free Method Podcast Note-worthy episodes speaking on the history of birth:

If you have any other reference material that you feel could be important to the conversation, please share in the comments.

Well, Kelsey doesn’t have to imagine it — this is the miracle story how her daughter, Willow, came earth-side.

Hello everyone and welcome back to Birth: The Middle Way.

Today we’ve got a truly wild and beautiful story to offer —

Let us introduce to you: Kelsey & Willow.

On this episode Kelsey shares her daughters miracle home/free-birth story at just 28 weeks without the knowledge that she was pregnant.Kelsey and Willow live in British Columbia, Canada.

One night in mid-October 2021 Kelsey found herself giving birth at home without the knowledge she was pregnant. Aided and supported by Radium’s volunteer firefighters, she found herself and her new daughter being taken by ambulance to receive life-saving medical care. This is a story of unexpected love and miracles.

Today’s episode speaks for itself, and we know you will be as awe-struck as we were receiving her story.

With reverence,

Emma Cardinal & Sami Love

—

Kelsey has a background as a Registered Nurse and is currently not practicing. For the past two years she has been facilitating women’s retreats as well as hosting regular full moon women’s circles. Kelsey welcomes the medicine of ceremonial space holding, sound journeys, Cacao, breath-work, and meditation. With studies in Acutonics levels 1 & 2 and continuing education in Integrative Wellness Coaching; she hopes to continue to serve her community with a vast array of modalities and medicines. If you would love to connect you can find out more instagram @sovereignhealing4444 or via email at [email protected].“Thank you for listening. My prayer and intention in sharing our story is to call upon our shared humanity and inspire hope, showing what is possible when the journey does not go according to plan. If you are a woman with a birth story, reach out. If you are a woman who did not know she was pregnant, I would love to hear from you. If you have had a NICU journey of any kind, I honour you. All is welcome here.”

— Kelsey Baker

We talk a lot about birth trauma and problematic protocols in the birth space on this podcast — but what about the positive stories?

Is there room for positive birth outcomes in the presence of a woman who has experienced birth trauma?

In this episode of Birth: The Middle Way we explore the nuance of women feeling shame for sharing positive birth stories in spaces where mothers who have experienced trauma in the birth portal also exist.

Is staying silent the answer or can we find a way to allow both to have space in sisterhood?

Do grief and sorrow need to be kept separate from joy and celebration?

How do we navigate life in community when one woman is nursing her newborn and another is cremating her beloved baby?

There are no easy, clean, or black and white answers —

And still, here we sit, meeting one another with a deeply complex topic.

Two women,

two mothers…

One mourning her son —

The other chasing after her daughters.

Learning from each other,

growing together, laughing, crying, and sitting in the mystery of it all.

So what do you think?

Can grief and joy coexist in women’s spaces?

Have you felt silenced in your joy or positive birth story in the wake of another women’s traumatic journey through the portal?

Or on the other side of the coin: have you felt unmet, unseen, or unacknowledged in your grief in women’s spaces?

Do you have an experience navigating the difficult path of grief juxtaposed joy, or sorrow standing next to celebration? How did you hold that? Was their room for both or space to allow triggers to exist?

Please share your journey in the comments section.

We would LOVE to hear from you.

In reverence,

Emma Cardinal & Sami Love

You’ve heard the phrase “birth is a mirror to a woman’s consciousness” — or maybe, “birth reflects where a woman is at”… but what if those statements were not entirely true?

Beyond that — what if they were harmful?

Imagine this:

A woman who has shown up time and time again to therapy, meditates every day, sits in ceremony, practices radical self responsibility, is intentional with what she eats… doing all the things… and yet in spite of all that, still ends up with a traumatic birth, walking away from the portal now having to navigate a negative outcome. Does this mean she didn’t do enough inner work? What her ego in the way? Is it a reflection of her wrong doing? Is it karmic? Did she not face her fears throughout her pregnancy?

Is it black and white, or is it more nuanced?

** To be clear: a negative birth outcome does not necessarily mean a dead child — birth trauma can be many things with examples like (but not limited to): birth complications, physical injuries to mom and/or baby, psychological distress during and/or after birth, lack of informed consent, heightened states of fear in the labour + birthing processes, & immediately postpartum, potentially birthing in an undesirable way (ie, cesarean after a planned natural home birth).

Often in life (as well as in death) when things go wrong, we look for someone to place blame. Culturally speaking, in birth when things go wrong — the mother is often the one who receives the blame people so eagerly throw around.

It appears that no matter how “conscious” a community may be, the insidious idea that we must place blame on the women for negative birth outcomes, still finds its way to permeate such problematic ideologies.

In this episode of BIRTH: The Middle Way we explore a harmful rhetoric often found in free-birth & home-birthing communities — a narrative that speaks of a mother’s birthing experience being a reflection of how much “inner-work” she has or hasn’t done being in correlation to her birth outcomes.

This conversation challenges that.

We are not calling out any one person in particular, rather this idea that has been shared loudly, from our perspective. While there may be some threads of truth found woven in statements such as these, we have also noticed that once again — there are infinite layers of nuance.

While we agree that birth is a mirror, what we explore today is a reflection that is much more vast, mysterious, and nuanced than placing responsibility for all outcomes on the mother.

So,

what if birth wasn’t simply “a mirror to a women’s consciousness” reflecting who we are and where we are at?

What if birth was a portal of an opportunity to reflect on who, how, why, and what we are?

What if birth was a sacred pause for us to gaze inwardly and explore the literal and figurative metamorphosis that a mother, baby, family, and community go through?

What if birth was a delicate dance designed to observe the sacred mystery… not formulate opinions about it?

What if each and every birth was an opportunity to heal not just ourselves, but our entire bloodline?

What if birth was a ceremony?

What if birth was a medicine?

What if birth was more than just a mirror…

What if it was a threshold for deeper intimacy, surrender, and honouring of the great unknown.

Join us as we explore this topic —

with reverence, humour, and a little bit of spiciness.

This is BIRTH: The Middle Way,

and we are so grateful to have you here with us.

In reverence,

(& silliness)

Sami Love & Emma Cardinal

Goosebumps on goosebumps on goosebumps in this conversation.

Hello beloved BTMW community,

Today we have the privilege of sitting down with Midwife and Mother, Catalina Clark for a potent conversation anchoring a grounded perspective on birth keeping.

Join us as we explore the realms of free-birth, traditional midwifery, birth protocols in the medical model of care, creating trust with care providers, integral sacred birth prep, and grief in the birth space. In this hour long conversation we land with the profound truth and responsibility that: Birth Work is Death Work. Honestly, there are no words — this conversation was pure gold; so many jaw dropping moments, and we are deeply honoured to share them with you here.

Settle in with a cup of tea or cacao (and maybe even a journal to take some notes) — this episode is sure to get you thinking!

In reverence,

Emma Cardinal & Sami Love

—

Links to stay connected with Catalina Clark

The Midwife of Healing Podcast

Catalina’s Instagram

Catalina’s Website

Hello community and welcome to this in-depth conversation where we discuss the ways in which we can be in an intentional relationship with the concept of imprinting.

This idea is rooted in understanding that our gestational time in the womb, our birth, and our early childhood experience have lasting experiences on our life — knowing this, the questions we can now ask ourselves are:

* How can we relate to the imprints we received in our psyche?

* What choices can we make in conception, pregnancy, birth, and early parenting to positively influence the imprints our children will receive?

We intend to speak from a place of responsibility — that is to say that each of us holds the ability to choose the ways in which we will respond to the various circumstances our lives present.

Instead of blaming or shaming mothers, families, and birth providers for what may happen in pregnancy, birth, and early family life — what would happen if we held the reality that imprinting exists whether we are aware of it or not. We can then use this knowledge and choose to provocatively be part of positive imprints in our children.

Thank you for being here with us in this dialogue, we appreciate you so dearly.

In reverence and love,

Sami Love & Emma Cardinal

Definitions of Imprinting

Animal ImprintingThe critical period shortly after birth or hatching during which an animal forms strong attachments, usually to a parent or caregiver.birds, ducks, or geese.

Hatchlings will typically follow the first moving object that they see, oftentimes their mother, but not always.

Human PsychologyImprinting refers to many ways in early life, especially with caregivers or parents, where experiences leave a deep and lasting effect on the emotional, relational, and cognitive development of a human being. This is where early patterns can influence attachment styles and can be related to the process of developing a sense of self or a sense of self-worth.

A baby who experiences consistent comfort and security may imprint a sense of trust and safety in the world. Continuously experiencing in the wake of the type of care received, the world is safe. The belief system that is imprinted upon the consciousness.

Genetic & EthicalA biological process where certain genes are expressed in a parent of origin-specific manner. Some genes are active only if inherited from the mother, while others only if inherited from the father. It involves epigenetic markers such as DNA, methylation, and that silence one copy of a gene.

Imprinting is referring to the process where an early experience or influence creates a lasting impact on behaviour, emotional patterns, or gene expression. The context determines whether it's about animal behaviour, human psychological development, or molecular biology.

Homeopathy Reference Material

Homeopathic Medicine At Home - Natural remedies for everyday ailments & minor injuriesBy: Maesimund B. Panos M.D. & Jane Heimlich

Homeopathic Treatment of Children’s Ailments Remedies for Common ComplaintsBy: Dr E. A. Maury

** DISCLAIMER: Please forgive the lagging on this episode. We hope you are still able to digest today’s conversation & receive all the weavings within our words. If you’ve listened to the full episode, please give us your feedback regarding your experience listening to this episode. We apologize for the lagging on our end and we seek to rectify that for future episodes. However we do feel that there is still some good content that we feel to share. If the lagging led to difficulty following along with the conversation please give us that feedback as well so we may re-record as we feel these conversations need to be shared with integral quality. Thank you beloved community as we traverse the world of technology to get these conversations to you. Aho.

Today on BIRTH: The Middle Way we explore the concept of Implicit Compassion —

The foundational practice of showing others care and sympathy with the understanding that we can never fully know another’s experiences… while simultaneously having the awareness that if we knew all that there was to know about another, that we would inevitably arrive to a space of compassion. This becomes a sacred practice, begging the question: What if we could bring ourselves to a place of Implicit Compassion sooner without having to wait for logical information to affirm this conscious act of empathy; knowing that we would already arrive in this place ?

A reminder that compassion doesn’t mean we don’t hold ourselves or other accountable, it doesn’t mean that responsibility is no longer a needed aspect in our lives — rather the invitation of growth here is ask how we may hold the complexities of both compassion AND responsibility.

We explore more productive ways of meeting difficult situations and discuss the differences in approach between punishment versus love — as well is diving into the silly experiences of using play as a sacred medicine.

Welcome to Birth: The Middle Way

Grab yourself a cup of tea and join us for todays chat.

In reverence and love,

Emma Cardinal & Sami Love

P.S. Make sure to drop your favourite board games in the comments below.

Implicit Compassion — implied sympathy as a sacred practice.

implicit

/ĭm-plĭs′ĭt/

adjective

* Implied or understood though not directly expressed.

* Having no doubts or reservations; unquestioning.

compassion

/kəm-păsh′ən/

noun

* Literally, a suffering with another; hence, a feeling of sorrow or pity excited by the sufferings or misfortunes of another; sympathy; commiseration; pity.

[mid-14c., compassioun, literally "a suffering with another," from Old French compassion "sympathy, pity"(12c.), from Late Latin compassionem (nominative compassio) "sympathy," noun of state from past-participle stem of compati "to feel pity," from com "with, together" (see com-) + pati "to suffer" (see passion).

Latin compassio is an ecclesiastical loan-translation of Greek sympatheia (see sympathy). Sometimes in Middle English it meant a literal sharing of affliction or suffering with another. An Old English loan-translation of compassion was efenðrowung.

Games to engage with the Medicine of Play

SKIP-BO Game

Secret Hitler

BANG!

Unstable Unicorns

Cards Against Humanity

Codenames

In mainstream portrayals of birth, a woman’s water breaking signals an emergency — a frantic rush to the hospital. But what happens when the waters open… and the birth unfolds slowly, with reverence and trust?

In this episode, Karina is joined by her midwife, Fadwa, to share the sacred story of a five-day birth journey. Together, we explore the nuanced terrain of risk assessment by both mother and Birth Keeper, the deep listening required in physiological birth, and the seasoned wisdom that guided them through.

Fadwah Halaby, APRN, CERTIFIED NURSE MIDWIFE, has given birth six times at home and raised 5 more children over the years through her rich blended family experiences. She has lived in the mountains of Colorado and also enjoys the sunny lifestyle of South Florida. She is a Nurse Practitioner with a specialty in Midwifery (CNM). She has a BS with an emphasis in Nutrition from The Evergreen State College in Olympia, WA. In the 1980’s and 90’s she studied childbirth education and then received homebirth training in Colorado. Her certificate in Nurse-Midwifery is from Frontier School of Midwifery and Family Nursing, 2005 (now Frontier Nursing University).

Along the way, she worked in several Emergency Rooms and Labor and Delivery units. Once she completed midwifery school, she worked for a very busy, local OB/GYN group of 5 midwives and 4 MDs. She assisted over 1600 women to give birth at 2 hospitals in Palm Beach County (West Boca Medical Center and Bethesda Hospital East, now Baptist Health) and frequently saw over 500 women in the office every month.

She is confident that when supported in a physiologic manner, pregnant people will birth gracefully, with freedom into the loving embrace of their families. Her confidence in women led her to founding Birth Equity Resource, a 501c3 that offers home births to women who otherwise may not be able to afford them and to lessen the disparity in care for women of colour.https://www.gofundme.com/f/midwife360-the-love-fund@midwife360

Karina is a mother and student of pregnancy, birth and motherhood. She first learned about home birth in 2017 and studied to become a birth doula after a dear friend got pregnant in 2019. She knew that this remembrance and spark was in preparation for when she got pregnant and gave birth. After giving birth to her daughter, Liberty, having her waters ruptured for more than 5 days, having the support of her trusting birth team, she knew that she wanted to share her story with the world and mamas one day.[email protected]

A foundational understanding in the conversation of birth is that, safety isn’t determined by a specific circumstance, rather the context in which the circumstance presents.

Examples of this could be a nuchal chord, freebirth, breech presentation, or in this case: a prolonged rupture of a mothers waters. It is near impossible to determine the safety or risk levels of these circumstances without context, which is why blanket statements like “hospital birth is the safest option” or “vaginal birth after a caesarean is never safe” are problematic.

Every birthing circumstance is as unique as a fingerprint and holds with it a set of risks that is specific to the situation at hand. To say, for example, that “a mother must go to the hospital after her waters have been open for 24 hours due to risk of infection” is overly simplistic and does not allow space for the presenting nuances. In this story, with the guidance of seasoned midwife Fadwa, we witness a thoughtful and grounded process of risk assessment honouring the uniqueness of this birth.

This is a conversation about time, understanding, and honouring the body’s rhythm — an invitation to reimagine what’s possible when filling a birth space with trust and wise women.

Pour yourself a cup of tea, cozy up with a blanket, and maybe grab a box of tissues as you snuggle in for today’s chat with BIRTH: The Middle Way.

With reverence,

Emma Cardinal & Sami Love

** We would like to highlight an error on this episode at 72:36 where Sami references a birth story in Canada, in which a family navigating loss is woven in a court case with Gloria Lemay (Canadian unlicensed midwife & birth advocate), "Then we have, you know, the story of like Gloria Lemay right now that’s going on and… you know, the parents were aware that there was a risk, that there was a breech baby and sought that care. And then in whatever she did or didn’t do in the birth space, they still pursued pressing charges when the baby passed away.”

— It has come to our attention that the truth of the court case is: the B.C.'s College of Nurses and Midwives are the ones pressing charges on behalf of the Crown; the family who tragically lost their beloved baby has not pressed charges.

You can read a CBC article here

We also intend to have the mother on our podcast so she may share the deepest truth of her story, as only she is able to.

This truly illustrates the importance of compassionately listening to a woman’s birth story from her — not a news article, a friend, or a bystander.

We apologize for this mis-spoken-information, and still stand with our intentions of being humbly human in this space. As always, we are doing our best to speak and be of service from a place of integrity; offering this apology and disclaimer is one of the ways we are standing in truth, humility, and transparency with our humanness.

We hold this mother, baby, and family with the deepest respect and reverence, as well as the mystery that are the threshold spaces of both life and death.

Books referenced in this episode:

Spiritual Midwifery By: Ina May Gaskin

Eve: How the Female Body Drove 200 Million Years of Human EvolutionBy: Cat Bohannon

Understanding Value Based HealthcareBy: Dr. Christopher Moriates, Dr. Neel Shah, Dr. Vineet Arora

In this conversation we approach the topic of Informed Consent — the historical lack of it in the medical system, and how we can show up to IC with awareness, empowerment, curiosity, and humility.

Informed Consent is defined as: ‘a communication process between the clinician and the patient.’

Our definition may look a little more like: ‘a continuous informed and education-based dialogue between practitioner & patient where questions are encouraged and “I don’t know’s” are welcomed by all parties involved.’

We hold a prayer to normalize conversations rooted in curiosity, humility, and grace.

To ask:Can we engage with one another without the weight of dogma, without the need to play god or hero?Can we meet the process of Informed Consent with a willingness to listen, learn, and co-create care that honours everyone involved?

This is the heart of what we explore today.

We also trace the historical roots of obstetrics, naming the often-erased lives and experiences of Anarcha Westcott, Lucy, and Betsey—three enslaved women who, 200 years ago, endured repeated surgeries without anesthesia. We examine the legacy of Dr. J. Marion Sims, known as the “father of modern gynecology,” and the ethical shadows his work continues to cast over reproductive care today.

Truly, we are only scratching the surface of what Informed Consent can be.But even in touching the edges of this conversation, we offer this important reminder:

You are allowed to question your care providers.You are allowed to participate in your own healing with discernment and voice.

What shifts with sacred dialogue and Informed Consent is not necessarily a specific desired outcome coming to fruition —

What changes is us and them just being in that conversational space together.

What transforms are the people involved, that show up to these conversations and actively choosing compassionate dialogue, openness, and understanding.

In reverence & love,

Emma & Sami

Join us as we listen to the beautiful Ali Shaffer tell the birth and death story of her beloved daughter Auzlyn Merry Sky.

A mother standing in the threshold between portals shares her beautiful birth story & how we heal after tragedy from life’s greatest losses.

Ali is a Naturopathic Doctor, Shamanic Priestess & Sovereign Midwife who believes that all pain can be turned into power and that when we make a conscious decision to heal, we can change narratives around societies perceptions.

In our conversation today, we explore ancient ceremonies, healing rituals, and traditional death rites that can support deep emotional grief processing when death meets us in the birth space.

Throughout this almost two-hour conversation, we are asking the questions: What is and isn’t helpful when we find ourselves in community with a family navigating loss? What can meeting death and bowing reverently in tragic circumstances look like? Can we find gifts and silver linings when we are faced with life’s most profound tragedies? How may we hold fear and radical surrender in pregnancy, birth, and death? Are we able to find beauty in our experiences with loss and what does that even look like?

Here, we sit in the darker and medicinally potent realities of birth, asking the questions that we may never have answers to.

Truly it has been the biggest honour to have welcomed Ali into this conversational space. The wisdom pours out of this medicine woman so beautifully — and we are sure you will walk away from this episode feeling the same.

Today, we honour you, Ali, and your daughter Auzlyn. She came into this world to make sacred your path and everyone who comes into contact with your story. Thank you for birthing such a beautiful light and walking alongside the darkness with such grace.

In reverence,

Emma & Sami

To connect with Ali Shaffer and learn more about her work, you can reach her through her email: [email protected]