STOP RIGHT THERE, don't you dare sing. Not a note, now, not a note.

As you know, Jabu had a birthday a few weeks ago and as you also know, all of our opinions about everything in the world are correct so LISTEN UP and WRITE THIS DOWN because the Birthday rubric is here at last!

POINTS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK INCLUDE:

• Don't surprise me

• Don't sing to me

• Don't be weird about it

• Forumst Gump

[Holler atcha dangerous boys on Twitter and check out our MERCH]

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