Live from Alabama’s Anti-ESG unscented Rose Garden, it’s an all-new terrific Tuesday edition of Business Pants. Joined by Analyst-Hole Matt Moscardi! In today’s ESG-sized onesie called October 8, 2024: BIZ NUGGETS!

Our show today is being sponsored by Free Float Analytics, the only platform measuring board power, connections, and performance for FREE. 

DAMION1

In our 'Because it's 2024 and "Hey, why don't you just save on gas and buy a Chevy Bolt" is just too damn complicated' headline of the week. Uber to launch AI assistant powered by OpenAI's GPT-4o to help drivers go electric

In our 'Spotify co-founders Daniel Ek and Martin Lorentzon announce that shareholders ARE children and that's why they own about 25% of actual shares but about 75% of voting power' headline of the week. Spotify’s HR chief says remote staff aren’t ‘children’ as company reaffirms work-from-anywhere policy

In our 'Boeing wishes it had Qantas's problems' headline of the week. Qantas apologizes after R-rated movie played to passengers on Sydney to Tokyo flight

In our 'What type of card do I buy for a patriarchy where 0.8% of CEOs are women?' headline of the week. Women in Asia are slowly starting to break through historic barriers to the top of the corporate world

In our '3M board planning to drop commitment to Reduce Emissions Across the Value Chain by More than 40% by 2030 by 2026' headline of the week. 3M Commits to Reduce Emissions Across the Value Chain by More than 40% by 2030 

MATT1

In our 'Keep the oily parts' headline of the week. Big Oil Urges Trump Not to Gut Biden’s Climate Law

They really like some of the carbon capture funding.  Oh, also, the global record $7 trillion in oil subsidies, many of which stayed in the bill, they're cool too

In our 'What if we call it "outdoor air conditioning upgrades" or "enhancing nature's HVAC"?' headline of the week. Most CEOs Sticking with Climate Strategies, but Changing How they Communicate it: KPMG Survey

In our 'Dog rescinds promise not to pee on the rug' headline of the week. BP drops goal to reduce oil and gas output

In our 'Board members everywhere shocked to find out they're just average using Free Float Analytics data' headline of the week. 7 out of 10 employees dangerously underestimate or overestimate their skill levels, new analysis finds

74% of active directors have historically delivered between the 40th and 60th percentile of TSR in whatever industry board they sit on.  Those directors tend to have the highest average age (62 years old) and are overwhelmingly male (73%)

In our 'Adam Neumann announces WorkWe, a real estate co-working company not to be confused with WeWork, the company he founded and bankrupted, because the Work and the We are swapped' headline of the week. Adam Neumann’s Latest Project Is a WeWork Competitor

Workflow is a shared office real estate company

DAMION1

In our 'Don't worry, their independent board is there to ensure the company sticks to its not-for-profit bylaws... oh wait, never mind... Sam made those women look shrill' headline of the week. AI expert Gary Marcus thinks OpenAI will be the 'most Orwellian company of all time'

In our 'The other three were Berkshire Hathaway board members with the last name "Buffett" and they all said "pull my finger" ' headline of the week. 7 out of 10 employees dangerously underestimate or overestimate their skill levels, new analysis finds

In our 'John Deere CEO John May says we should go all in on getting rid of DEI policies because 'we are never going to get rid of systemic racism anyway'' headline of the week. Former Google CEO Eric Schmidt says we should go all in on building AI data centers because 'we are never going to meet our climate goals anyway'

In our 'Hey ma, are we supposed to be surprised when Japan ranked 125th out of 146 countries in the World Economic Forum's 2023 Gender Gap Index? Also, a Toyota Prius is a man's car, like a Deere tractor. Tell Dad' headline of the week. Toyota follows growing trend of companies halting DEI policies and initiatives

In our 'Olive Garden is betting $1 billion on unlimited breadsticks as a ‘healthier’ carrot' headline of the week. PepsiCo is betting $1 billion on tortilla chips as a ‘healthier’ snack

MATT2

In our 'Correction: Toyota USA's all male board asks Toyota's 86% male board whether is was cool to "ditch the woman and gay stuff" because "a guy on the internet asked us to"' headline of the week. Toyota follows growing trend of companies halting DEI policies and initiatives

Bringing the total to 108 board members who cowered under their pillows at the idea that they'd have to talk to the gay people they said they "definitely were cool with"

In our 'White guy who heard other white guy says something about black people once apparently not discriminated against' headline of the week. Blackrock Beats Equity Trader's Bias Suit Over ESG, DEI Policies

Blackrock equity traded claimed because Larry Fink said diversity once in a speech years after he was fired, he was fired for being white male and heterosexual

In our 'So I'm not sure I can protect democracy, social cohesion, or the self esteem of young girls, but I can DEFINITELY turn this Porsche sports car into a minivan, because miracles ARE possible' headline of the week. Mark Zuckerberg Redesigns Porsche Cayenne Turbo GT Into A Minivan For Wife Priscilla Chan, Gets A 911 GT3 For Himself

In our ‘Dear Linda, I know you are the daughter of Vince McMahon and class III director at Truth Social, so I thought I’d come to you first - are you really working with TitsAssMillionaire123 with a guaranteed investment scheme?' headline of the week. ‘I haven’t told my wife about this blunder’: How Truth Social users are getting scammed out of thousands of dollars

In our 'Vivek Ramaswamy sends Edge One Capital a Letter Saying "Finders keepers,nyah nyah"' headline of the week. Edge One Capital Sends Letter to BuzzFeed Demanding Overhaul of Corporate Board and Governance

Edge One Capital letter: Given its lack of relevant experience, it’s unsurprising that the incumbent board has for years failed to hold its CEO responsible for destroying shareholder value. What we find truly extraordinary, however, is the extent to which the board has ac;vely created an environment where Jonah Peretti faces no repercussions for poor decisions and is instead insulated from shareholder influence. 

Peretti has dual class shares with 64% control and hand picks the board