Memory can either blind us or guide us. We open up a timely reflection on Black History Month by asking a hard question: how do we face what happened without turning the past into a weapon—or pretending it never happened? The answer, we argue, lives in the daily practice of humility and forgiveness, and in the choices we make about which stories we carry and how we carry them.

We ground the conversation in a vivid image from rugby: a rope woven from dyed strands marking wins, losses, and draws. That rope hung in a changing room as a living record and a map for what comes next. It’s a powerful way to think about personal and collective history. When we isolate one strand—only the victories or only the wounds—we weaken our grip on truth. When we braid them together, the rope gets stronger and points us forward. This is where forgiveness matters. It’s not erasure; it’s the courageous decision to stop repaying harm and start repairing trust.

The heart of the episode is a story about Archbishop Desmond Tutu. As a child under apartheid, he watched a white priest step aside, tip his hat to his mother, and offer simple respect that defied the law’s cruelty. That small act seeded a life of fearless leadership, public grace, and moral clarity. We reflect on how gestures like that can reshape a young imagination, and how remembering them can keep courage alive today. From Solzhenitsyn’s warning on memory to the practical steps of naming our past, seeking forgiveness, and refusing to weaponise history, we offer a path that honours truth while calling us to growth.

If this speaks to you, share it with someone who needs encouragement, subscribe for more thoughtful reflections, and leave a review to help others find the show. What strand will you add to your rope this week?

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