"Beneath the Sternum of Where the Heart Would Be" is a song right? Should we start a band?! 2009's Suck taught us that it can only get better if you date your worthless ex and become a vampire! Also, Kacey has no idea who Malcom McDowell is. 

(TW at 34min for our sweet Morgan listener!)

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If a thirteen year old girl wrote this anime, Kacey refuses to know where she's coming from! Welcome back to the pod ya'll. We're unpacking the rest of Season One of Vampire Knight.

Things We Learned:

• Only one teacher at the academy?
• Only one human boy at the academy?
• Only one adult female vampire but we kill her?

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Someone smarter has written something about this somewhere, but all we know is that sexy anime with creepy tall vampire boys titillates Sarah-Marie, infuriates Kacey, and we both loved it. 

Things We Learned:

• SM wouldn't last one day in the Night Academy because of white uniforms. 
• Kacey won't have it, people. 
• Love is an idiot.

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Was this the 80's? Was this hazing accurate? Is Australia this terrible to it's LGBTQ+ Community? We're confused!

Things We Learned:

• SM recorded the audio from Australia, where apparently things are terrible. Which is why the pod sounds this way this week. 
• Samuel L Jackson has a purple Lightsaber and some vams get amazing eye colors
• Making a movie, getting feedback, it's really hard! Soooooore harrrrd. 

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How's your blood portall today? Lost your face? How about a broken toilet of cake during your fire drill? If none of this makes sense, WELCOME TO PERPETRATOR. 

Things We Learned:

• Forevering is the dumbest way to say immortal. 
• Menstrual Discs are AMAZING and #flexdisc should sponsor us please and thank you
• Alicia Silverstone is trying to ruin vampires for us like she ruined that carpet. 

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Dracula 2000 (2000) has a whole loaf of milk toast choices in it. *This message sponsored by virgin (but not really)

Things We Learned:

• Judas is Dracula?! 
• KC wasn't even born here ya'll!
• Mardi Gras death metal is a terrible choice. 

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In celebration of releasing Blood Sisters over on the Little Renegade Films youtube, we're taking this week off of the pod to share with you an OLDY BUT A GOODY (as Sm's mom would say). We love you and would get addicted to your blood any day!

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This week we watched 1995's The Addiction and it was as much fun as putting on a pair of jeans after two years in a pandemic. Like, we like these jeans, but we're also mad at them for doing this to us. 

We learned

1. Pu'er Tea is a dirt tea that's very healthy for you, and maybe a philosopher?
2. "DON'T DO THIS" are the exact words said and then you're getting kicked in the dick, and then KC is getting mint chip ice cream
3. Spoiler: It's a Metaphor

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Vamps (2012) sure did try to be Clueless but it sure didn't have Jane Austen to bolster it up. No stakes for ep 73 of the pod. No garlic either. Lame.

Things We Learned:

• KC doesn't see sub-genre apparently. She has a condition. Un-Sub-Genre-Itis
• Was it a good adaptation? Or just a copy-cat who copies? Tell us in the discord cause we're STILL fighting about Clueless. 

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Fright Night (1985) has the sexiest Humperdink we've ever seen.

Things We Learned:

• SMC and Kacey think Taylor loves Now and Laters (she does), but what they meant was Hi-chews. 
• Hi-chews are like… the Lacroix of Starbursts.
  • Also, Now and Laters are called this because they’re made of a soft taffy on the outside with a harder center that’s not hard candy but like… firmer taffy and it takes longer for it to dissolve. So the outside of the candy is quickly dissolved. 
• Shout Outs:
  • Hyde Park Theatre
  • FronteraFest
  • Christy Moore

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El Conde (2023) is the first vampire film we've liked IN AN ETERNITY OF TIME even though that nun was terrible at her job, we'll have a teacup of blood with Margret Thatcher any ol' night of the week.

Things We Learned:

• Margaret Thatcher was *not* an author. She was the first female British Prime Minister and the longest-serving Prime Minister of the 20th century.
• KC loves black and white films now. We did it you guys!
• Always hide your money in old old sexy sexy books

https://linktr.ee/bloodsuckerspod

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Please leave a review, like, subscribe, comment below, bite a friend, drink some blood and thank you for being our immortal lover. Later Suckers!