What can we say, we missed Mortal Kombat so much we decided to go after its dad: 1988's cult classic Bloodsport!  Directed by Newt Arnold and starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bloodsport is about a guy who goes to Hong Kong and fights a bunch of people.  Somehow, Forest Whitaker is there.  That's about it, that's all you need.  
The manatees do a deep dive into the history and traditions underpinning competitive martial arts and jump-tackle the darkest secrets of the MMA underground, such as how shorts make you a better fighter, why you can't just stop after learning the Dim Mak, how the UFC is this movie's fault, and why Andre The Giant should have been in this movie.  And, just because we know everyone's asking, yes, there is a lengthy segment on JCVD's underwear.  Don't worry, we've got you covered.  Unlike JCVD's butt.  Ha-HA!

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Bloodsport (1988)

A movie review and relaxation podcast for movie lovers who'd like some help falling asleep. Sluggishly hosted by everybody's favorite podcast hosts: a sedate pair of half-ton aquatic mammals who love movies and wax comedic and pedantic about them for hours on end. Come with and drift along? Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matinee-manatees/support

TV & Film

We're back! Life circumstances, you know how it goes, sorry for the quiet month. To make it up to you, we've forced ourselves to sit through probably the single largest collection of missed opportunities we've ever seen: 2001's "3000 Miles To Graceland"!  Starring Kurt Russel and Kevin Costner, 3000 Miles To Graceland is a series of largely unconnected vignettes that purport to have something to do with Elvis, but with a very few exceptions, don't.  Not quite a heist movie, not quite a roadtrip movie, not quite a concert movie, and not quite a crime movie, 3000 Miles To Graceland is really more of a... um.  It's, uh.  Well, it's certainly a movie.  But was it really as bad as the box office returns suggest?  Float along with us and find out, why don't you.

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3000 Miles To Graceland (2001)

We're back and we're checking out another Patreon poll winner: the 1997 disaster movie Dante's Peak! Directed by Roger Donaldson and starring Pierce Brosnan and Linda Hamilton, Dante's Peak was one of two big volcano movies to come out in 1997, but the only one to take a scientific eye and really address those age old volcano questions, like: What if a volcano erupted like three times? What would that do?  Would it look kind of cool?  What if you, like, drove through lava?  And others!  This one's like two completely different movies, folks.  Really something else.

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Dante's Peak (1997)

Happy Holidays everybody! This year the manatees are going a little more recent for the 20th birthday of a modern classic Christmas movie, 2003's Elf! Directed by Jon Favreau and starring Will Ferrell and James Caan, Elf is a colorful little modern-day fairy tale that's pretty much appropriate for all ages and moves along at a good clip.  But how compelling is it really?  The manatees talk red flags in dating coworkers, the inner workings of hybrid engines, commiserate on the pros and cons of being the biggest guy in a workshop, and wind up talking a lot about video games.  Float along with us and enjoy the season, won't you?

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Elf (2003)

Happy Black Friday week everybody. In the spirit of the holidays (consumerism) we're rewatching the widely reviled but oddly charming holiday flop Jingle All the Way, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad, and directed by Brian Levant. It's almost thirty years old! You've probably heard of this one; it's almost universally panned by critics but has its fans regardless, and we're going to find out if we're among them. Float along with the manatees as they tackle the important questions like: should bodybuilders' kids be played by other bodybuilders?  How do masks work, exactly?  And of course, just how many daylight hours are there in Minnesota in December?  Literally none of these will be answered satisfactorily.  Come take a nap!

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Jingle All The Way (1996)

Happy Halloween, everyone! We're taking a look John Carpenter's 1982 classic, The Thing! Starring Kurt Russell, Keith David, Wilford Brimley, and a bunch of other guys in parkas.  While it was a flop at its release, The Thing has become a cult classic since and appears on just about every top 100 list of horror movies ever made, famous both for its special effects and for its paranoid psychological tone.  But does it deserve the hype?  Float along with the manatees as they tackle the important questions like: is the monster kinda dumb?  Are flamethrowers normal de-icing equipment?  And, are we sure this ending is actually ambiguous?  Among others.  Take a look-see if you've got a strong stomach, or maybe skip this month if scary movies aren't your thing, but we're diving right in.

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Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matinee-manatees/support

Bloodsport (1988)

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