Bloom Stories

As one of 12 herself, large families are nothing new to Clare. Maybe it’s no surprise therefore that she takes the rollercoaster of being mother to her own five children, all in her stride. Join us as Amelia and Clare discuss what she has learnt from five pregnancies, five births and looking after five babies. We also tackle the impossible question of how to balance your own personal needs as a woman who has intelligence, talents, ideas and ambitions - with the needs of your children. Spoiler alert, it’s not easy!

Kate felt a real difference between the physical versus the mental pregnancy experience. Physically, she felt amazing. On the other hand, her mental journey ebbed and flowed. Looking back she feels like she has now blocked out the tough parts, but she was very anxious at times, having had a miscarriage start of the year. Amelia and Kate talk miscarrying at work, managing fear and worry when pregnant after a first loss, a scare at 20 weeks, the days that feel like an eternity when you go "overdue", labour using a tens machine and a birthing pool, the Dutch care system with kraamzorgs, centering and champagne, the challenges of getting breastfeeding working as well as the emotional labyrinth that is the decision to stop.

In today’s episode, Ieashia talks about her long struggle with endometriosis. It had a debilitating impact on her life and, she was told, would likely impact her fertility as well.

Ieashia would pass out every month during her periods, feel very sick and experience extreme and excruciating pain. She was eventually diagnosed at 26 years old. We talk about how she managed to ease her symptoms by taking control of her diet and focusing on gut health. Her periods became more manageable, and she also became pregnant naturally when she had been told that she would need to have surgery.

Because of frustrating experiences with the “system”, Ieashia felt strongly that she didn’t want her birth to be a medical procedure and that she wanted to be able to trust in herself and her body. Pregnancy and labour became an opportunity to take ownership of her body again, something that she did right until the end as (in her words) her baby flew out!

Abi felt absolute joy at finding out that she was pregnant, but then complete and utter shock a few weeks later on finding out that she was carrying twins. It was truly a self defining moment that changed her and her partners lives forever. Preparing for one baby is nerve wracking enough… how do you prepare for two of them? How do you handle a double birth? And how do you have enough arms to do everything once they have arrived? We talk pelvic girdle pain, preeclampsia, caesareans and haemorrhaging. We get deep into how to breast feed twins and Abi paints a very real picture about what newborn life is like with double the work and double the fun.

Lauren’s pregnancy, especially the latter stages, was not straightforward: mid-pandemic, with a change of care provider halfway through and a gestational diabetes diagnosis which meant more scans, risks and concerns about the baby’s size. But despite all this, she took it all in her stride, informing herself and making the right choices for herself, one by one.

What she didn’t expect was the crash landing into motherhood that is the fourth trimester. In the weeks following her birth, Lauren suffered with postnatal hypertension and it’s likely she also had undetected preeclampsia. When she was advised to be readmitted into hospital with her baby, Lauren made a difficult decision that was right for her and her family: to stay at home. She talks about the turning point around 6 weeks postpartum but gets real about this time and the strength needed to overcome it.

Becoming a mum was all Kirti ever wanted, but she knew that getting pregnant would be difficult. As soon as she got married and was financially stable, she and her partner started trying for a baby. Three years of doing pregnancy tests and ovulation tests, seeing a gynaecologist and undergoing all the scans, referrals and tests imaginable, it was all getting to be too much. In the end, Kirti decided to see a specialist abroad, who diagnosed and successfully treated endometriosis within a matter of days. A few weeks after the procedure, she was pregnant with her first baby and finally able to fulfil her dream.

Colette had her first baby at 16, her second at 23 and her third at 38. Colette’s three pregnancies and births were all very different but had one thing in common - her babies were positioned back-to-back, which led to long labours.

Her first experience was positive thanks to a supportive network of family and friends, but was still characterised by naivety and judgement navigating a teenage pregnancy. For her second, she was better informed but her epidural was only effective on one side which led to a less effective pain relief. Now a qualified hypnobirthing teacher, for her third pregnancy, Colette was informed to advocate for herself and her desire for an unmedicated birth. She also experienced something called the foetal ejection reflex: when a baby is born with no pushing at all. Colette is living proof that the different stages of labour do not always correspond to the timings we expect, in her words “the cervix is not a crystal ball”.

Laura and I discuss home vs hospital births, weirdly wonderful pregnancy cravings, how mentally straining pregnancy is, how empowering birth can be, how hard it feels to go back to work but also how hard NOT working would also be. Listen to her story to find out how she rode the contraction wave to a home birth and how that compared to her second, equally positive hospital birth.

Amelia’s first pregnancy was a bubble of blissful ignorance. She didn’t try to absorb all the information out there and trusted that her body would know what to do when the time came. In contrast, being more aware of what happens during birth as well as what could go wrong meant she struggled to relax in the same way, second time round. She felt increasingly anxious as the due date got closer.

A close link between mind and body defined both experiences. It was as though her brain needed to fully relax in order to let her body bring new life into the world. Her contractions only started when childcare was sorted for Joshua and her waters broke once she had made it safely to hospital and seconds after she told her baby “it’s time to come now”.

Motherhood has provided Amelia with the deep sense of purpose she knew she needed, but didn’t expect to find here. Becoming a mum, it turns out, is the wonderfully unexpected solution to a restlessness she’d been grappling with for a long time.