Bold & Bawdy

We continue to celebrate the women that inspire us, and this week we dedicate this episode to our mommas! Whether you consider your mom your best friend, or whether she drives you crazy, OR both, moms hold a special place in our hearts. They have shaped who we are and no matter what we always remember their advice. Get to know us a bit better by listening to what momma always said to us.

We continue to celebrate the women that inspire us, and this week we dedicate this episode to our mommas! Whether you consider your mom your best friend, or whether she drives you crazy, OR both, moms hold a special place in our hearts. They have shaped who we are and not matter what we always remember their advice. Get to know us a bit better by listening to what momma always said to us.

Our tribute to the badass women that have made things happen, that haven’t taken no for an answer, and that refuse to be tied down to the norm. March is Women’s History Month and tomorrow, March 8th, is International Women’s Day.

Our tribute to the badass women that have made things happen, that haven’t taken no for an answer, and that refuse to be tied down to the norm. March is Women’s History Month and tomorrow, March 8th, is International Women’s Day.

To commemorate Black History Month No Free Drinks brings you a celebration of Black Love. Black Love isn’t celebrated enough. Listen to this week’s episode where we discuss marriage and societal trends impacting black relationships, and take a trip down memory lane as we celebrate iconic shows and couples that highlight why black love is beautiful. SPOILER ALERT: We couldn’t help ourselves we also talk #WakandaForever

We open this episode talking about our views on why black love is such a big deal to the black community. Representation matters and we can celebrate black love without putting down other relationships.

Role models are important and every community needs role models that can relate to their experience.  Unfortunately, political and social events have impacted the trends we see with black marriage and families. According to a Your Black World article, “only 45% of African-American households have a married couple, a contrast to 70% among Hispanics and 80% for Whites.” They also point out that in 1890, 80% of black households were comprised of both parents.  Over a century down the line, only 40% of African-American children stay in married-couple families.” Who is to blame?

Some perspectives out there are quick to blame the deterioration of black families on black communities themselves. However, we know that there are larger forces at play. The war on drugs and mass incarceration are major culprits.

We also debunk a couple of the myths concerning black marriage.  There is hope ladies! We have often heard, and Maddie has experienced that educated black women have it harder when it comes to finding a spouse. However, the facts show us that if you are educated, then your chances of finding a spouse are higher. According to this article, “among black women, 70% of college graduates are married by 40, whereas only about 60 percent of black high school graduates are married by that age.” The same trend is true for black men. “In 2008, 76% of black men with a college degree married by age 40, but only 63% of black men with just a high school diploma were married.” This data shows that education increases the likelihood of marriage for both African American men and women.

So with that good news, we talk about what black love looks like as depicted by some of our favorite shows growing up. We discuss our favorite memories and scenes from The Cosby Show and Family Matters, and even talk about Black-ish’s Bo and Dre. When it comes to iconic Black Couples we talk Will and Jada, Whitney and Bobby, and Oprah and Stedman. Each of these couples is iconic in their own way and we discuss what their image means for the culture. Of course we couldn’t help ourselves and we also talk black love in the context of the movie Black Panther. Spoiler alert is on deck, but don’t worry, if you haven’t seen the movie yet, we warn you when to stop listening!

The other one, the just in it for fun, the situationship, the stay in your lane- just a few of the countless references used to describe elements of the side piece culture. In this episode we talk about the glorification of the side piece, the misogyny of the culture, and the various rules that apply to the side piece.

Episode 35: A Side Piece Has No Name

We wanted to talk about side pieces because we all hear stories of people not knowing where they stand with the person they are seeing. Most times it is because they are a side piece, but they just don’t know it. As glorified as the side piece culture has grown, many are still oblivious to the rules that come with stepping into that situationship. Part of what we want to achieve with this episode is to outline the red flags that come up when someone is caught in a side piece type of relationship.

We start the episode by sharing the rules of the side piece agreement. We found this article via Huffington Post written by Zondra Hughes, The Sidepiece Agreement: 10 Rules for The Other Woman. It is a rule book of what to expect as the side piece in a situationship. Although it is originally written as rules for the woman, it can apply to anyone regardless of gender. These are the rules:

You are the other person. This does not mean that you are the only other person. Act accordingly.

Please focus on the stolen moments that we spend together. Do not concern yourself with my whereabouts when we are apart. Frankly speaking, my life outside of our time together is not your concern.

Be comfortable with who you are to me; do not mention my significant other, as that person is not your concern. Do NOT compare yourself to my main partner in any way and do not attempt to contact them — to do so would be a breach of our agreement.

Anticipate frequent changes in our plans; for the most part, a spur of the moment escape is the best that I can do.

You must understand that maintaining a positive vibe while we are in each other’s company is vital to the success of our situationship. No bickering or nagging about promises that I didn’t keep.

We are secret lovers; we can’t blast our situationship to the world. Please don’t tag me on Facebook, and don’t send me invitations to your work/family functions or events. Major holidays — more likely than not — will be missed.

No discussions about “where this situationship is headed.” We are where we will be; together, in this moment. Enjoy it.

Yes, I am still sleeping with my significant other, and we do not use condoms. Again, focus on our time together, and not what I do while we are apart.

I am not interested in bringing a child into our situationship. By the way, an unplanned pregnancy will not force a relationship commitment of any kind from me nor will it guarantee a promotion to main status for you.

There are no guarantees about the outcome of our situationship save one: I am a cheater at heart, and that won’t change unless I want it to. Until that happens, if you are promoted to the main, please know that yet another side piece will fill the vacancy that you’ve left behind.

Maddie, Lina D, and Westley share their points of view on side pieces and discuss the pros and cons of being a side piece. The most frustrating piece for Lina D is that certain people get into these situationships without acknowledging the consequences of the actions.  There is also an assumption that the nature of the relationship with morph into something that it is not.

Maddie talks about the misogyny of the side piece culture, and how “the definition of the side chick is usually dependent on the man's control – she is the side chick because he has said she is. However, why do his terms and his terms alone get to define the relationship?” There are some interesting points made in this article. We also discuss how men are applauded for getting the girl while only having to deal with her part-time while her main deals with all the “hard” stuff. However, women are criticized for having a side piece.

Make sure you listen to this episode for this juicy conversation piece.

Do you remember your first time? In this episode we talk about firsts- first dates, first kiss, first time having sex. We also introduce you to your new co-host- it’s their first time being a full time co-host on a podcast. NO SPOILERS! Listen to find out the identity of the new NFD co-host.