Bold Without Apology Presents: The Chop Up Session Podcast

Today the international players of the BWA crew hit us with some more in-depth thoughts about everyone’s favorite topic....Dat Rona.

Then after a trip down a weird rabbit hole of discussions around chest hair and what’s the appropriate level of man hair, the guys kick back up some relationship chat, and Coach Kev hits us with some free game.

The question is...are you listening, ready to rock, roll, and be bold without apology? Or are you full of talk, doing the same ol, and full of excuses?

We don’t know why most people are great until they have to be great...but we can tell you when the truth hurts, we not afraid to say it!

Let’s get it.

Imagine this:

You’re single. You want to date but you haven’t had much success in a while. So you decide “I’ll go on this new show where I sit behind a wall and fall in love with a stranger..”

Is it possible to truly have a healthy REAL relationship like this? Does the physical matter? Can you fall in love with personality only?

Look let’s just get to it....there’s a lot of y’all about love these days. But sit back and listen while we put the REAL in relationship.

This lovely episode is brought to you by the folks at Purell....who knew way back in 1988 that y’all were nasty and weren’t washing your hands!

Ok, we aren’t actually sponsored by Purell, but we are sure damn glad we keep that Hand Sanitzer on deck! Especially these days. But when you use hand sanitizer, is it actually effective? Matter of fact, how long are you supposed to wash your hands!? Do you have a sinus infection, or “Dat Rona!?” Sounds like it’s time for a POP QUIZ!

After the quiz, kick back and join the conversation as the gents at BWA dig a little deeper into “the desire to want minus the desire to work.” As simple as it sounds, all too often you’ll find people who want the finish line, but don’t want the laps in between start and finish.

But WHY? When did we as a society become so spoiled we believed it was okay to get all the honey without getting sting by a worker bee?!?!?

Something’s gotta give and the conversation starts here. Let’s get it.

Let’s just cut to the chase....it’s crazy times these days. Da Rona wrecking havoc, the tissue is out in stores, the public is terrified.

So what does one do when you got a house full of tissue and you got to self-quarantine for the next two weeks? You chop it up!

And that’s exactly what we are doing this episode, trying to figure out exactly where Da Rona originates, how to survive a zombie apocalypse, and if in times of mass chaos can we be the president.

And trust me....we might not have THE answer, but there’s definitely AN answer for these questions and so many more. Let’s get it.

Crabs in a bucket
Spectator mentality

Call it what you want, but just call it like it is....most people take time to minimize, dramatize, and criticize someone else’s journey just because they feel they can.

Can we say JUDGMENTAL!?

But in today’s episode Coach Kev has had BOUT-ENOUGH-OF-IT. Why?

The second you form an opinion about someone else’s journey without truly putting yourself in their full perspective you commit to a couple of fallacies:

1 - you assume every one thinks like you. (Can we just say how egotistical that is)

2 - you kill anyone’s chance to learn and grow (Talk about supportive)

3 - you’re just an asshole. A self-centered, self serving, self focused asshole. You don’t stop to think that critical perspective you have might not be the best way to look at this person’s choices.

And yet, here we sit in a society full or rotten tomatoes. The second you make a movie, write a book, post a video, or choose a decision that goes against what someone else believes....you’re instantly outcasted and everything becomes a conflict of “my values are better than yours.”

So it’s today that we decree.....fuckth thy haters. You can NOT live your life walking on eggshells hoping you make everybody happy with each choice you have. If that’s the case...you need new friends.

Maybe we can be those friends...come join us! As long as you’re willing not to judge us when we are just trying to figure out journey out.

Let’s get it.

Calm down.
Relax.
Chill out.
Stop tripping.
What’s your problem?
What’s the matter?

All these phrases are not foreign to any of us. We have all literally heard them in some capacity, either in relationships...friendships...at work...or even just when we are spending time with ourselves.

These phrases are actually emotional check ins. They work best when served with a healthy dose of honestly and vulnerability. But that comes from MASTERING emotions.

Annnnnnnd that’s where things get messy.

Very few of us have a mastery of EMOTIONS. ESPECIALLY MEN. Yeah fellas, I’m talking to you. We have mastered “anger.” Or so we thought. Did you know anger is just the fruit of hurt? So most often in times of intense anger, it roots back to being hurt, upset, disappointed.

But how often do we as men huddle up and discuss emotions? Probably as often as NEVER. And we end up jumping into relationships left and right. Relationships...vehicles driven and fueled by emotions. That’s essentially jumping in the cockpit of a jet with zero ability to master the craft, then asking someone “hey how do I fly faster?”

You know who do have consistent trainings in emotional mastery? Women. Which is what interesting because most men are quick to label women “emotional,” when in reality they are just not afraid to display a range of emotions.

How can you copilot a jet if you don’t bring the same level of mastery as your partner? How can you go from dating, to physical connection, to living together, to engagements then marriage without mastering your emotions...and expecting a smooth landing at each destination?

Maybe it’s time as men we start having these convos. And the best place to start is here with the fellas at BWA.

There will be some days you wake up and you feel like the world is against you. You’re in the proverbial dog house and you have NO IDEA what you did.

Could it be they just don’t understand you?
Could it be they just don’t appreciate you?
Could it be they just don’t respect you?

Or could it be you?

When you focus too much on I and me, you forget there’s a whole reason life is about connection with others as well. (They call that the WE part). "We" allows for you to see your blind spots. "We" allows for you to own up to your mistakes and be held accountable. "We" allows for you to get over your ego. You need "we."

But don’t get it twisted. You also need "me."

Because there’s also times "we" will have you so burned out from carrying the expectations of everybody else. "We" will have you trying to make everybody happy at the expense of yourself. "We" will have you chasing surface level likes on social media platforms to feel good about fake relationships with people you won’t even speak to in person.

Oh we we we.....

That’s when Me saves you. Humbles you. Grounds your outside focus to an inner perspective. When done right, you always have a center...a place to return to after a day full or We’s. When done wrong....you litter every conversation with “what about Me’s.”

The goal....balance. How? Being bold without apology.

So come on. Tune in. Let’s turn them Me’s and We’s to Us. “Unshakably Successful.”

So...pop quiz time! What are some of the origins of Valentines Day? Well, here’s an interesting one:

Back in the Roman Empire days, they used to have a festival called Lupercalia in the middle of February to celebrate the beginning of spring time. During this festival, all the boys would draw a name from a box with a girl’s name on it. They’d instantly be dubbed boyfriend and girlfriend and sometimes EVEN GET MARRIED.

Talk. About. Pressure. No wonder dudes wait until the last minute to buy Valentine’s Day gifts! Could you imagine the looming pressure of having to show your love on one particular day that feels forced and unnaturally yet if you don’t you’ll be judged.

Sounds familiar? There seems to be some disconnect between the expectation of love and the appreciation of love. And it’s this very topic where Coach Kev becomes a loose cannon. If you have sensitive feelings towards being loved on Valentine’s Day...you won’t like what Coach has to say.

Not to be outdone with Valentines Day debates...Coach Kev has a message for lazy women in relationships (whom he equates to f**kboys, a group he often tries to Coach from a place of passion). To be clear...Coach Kev is only addressing those women who knowingly and intentionally or even recklessly take for granted their significant other on the basis of expectation.

Wait wait wait, don’t give me the side eye, I’m just the messenger. If you want to hear the debate live and in full, go ahead and hit play.

We love you.

Two questions:
1) If you fail, is it really failure...or is it success dressed up as adversity?

2) If you don’t love somebody....can you just hang in there and the love will eventually grow, like mushrooms or dewy moss?

These are the thoughts of The Chop Up session and WE NEED YOUR HELP.

But don’t worry, the podcast was saved by the newly dubbed “Bro Bro”...BWA’s secret weapon in relationship coaching. And no, we aren’t taking about Coach Kev.

In honor of the legacy of Kobe Bean Bryant, we want you all (including ourselves) to think about your shot clock.

In basketball...you only get 24 seconds to make a decision and follow through. Some shots don’t always land. Some games you don’t always win. But no matter the outcome, not making a choice with the time you have will certainly lead to defeat.

The same happens in life. You get 24 hrs in a day (if you’re blessed to see the whole day). You decide to spend about 8 hours asleep....now you only have 16. If you work 8....now you’re left with 8 hours to make something of your time. What’s your decision?

Waste it on negative people who are fake friends who have selfish motives? Spend it complaining about the SAME thing you complained about last week, last month, and last year? Do you throw it away worrying about what the next man has, so you get so caught up in the rat race of jealousy you don’t appreciate your life?

Or do you slow down, look around, and celebrate? Celebrate your real friends while you can? Celebrate your loved ones while they can say they love you back? Celebrate...you?

Your clock ticks regardless of how much you “feel like” doing stuff. I suggest you take control of what you can while you still have the chance. Because one day...........it’ll be your last shot.

How will they remember you?