Relatively Blonde

Bonnie Blue, Phallic Mic Covers & Other Peoples Pets 🙄


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It’s a new week and the blondes are back - over-caffeinated, under-qualified, and medically unfit to hold this many opinions 💁🏼‍♀️✨

This episode, Jade and Lorri unpack the internet chaos surrounding Bonnie Blue being pregnant (the timeline? the lore? the group chat reactions?), before spiralling into one of life’s biggest scientific mysteries: why are yawns contagious and why does it only take one person to start a full domino effect of exhaustion?

We also take a concerned but deeply unserious look at The Osbournes and ask the question that’s been haunting us - why does Kelly look… unwell? Is it rockstar residue? Is it rich-people lighting? Is it vibes? We investigate (loosely).

Somehow we then pivot into why Gary Barlow is, in fact, OFFENSIVE. Is it justified? (YES) Is it projection? (MAYBE) Is it something from 2003 we’ve never emotionally processed? (You decide)

And of course, we must disclose that Lorri was deep in her luteal phase this week and causing minor societal disruption with every sentence that left her mouth. No thought was regulated. No one was safe. Emotional stability was not invited.

Expect fake science, hormonal hostility, cultural commentary no one asked for, and at least one opinion that could get us gently escorted off daytime television.

Same cousins, same chaos, just slightly more hormonal this week.


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Relatively BlondeBy Jade Cecilia and Lorri Boyle