🦖 FPL Raptor joins us on the pod to talk sex caves, shit tweets and arse wiping

🍆 Shafter or Shafted is BACK

💰 And there’s some great ESL related craic throughout

Dougal, Claret, Pingreen (who shows up six minutes late) and Pig all take turns arguing whether having your mother-in-law round for Christmas is the most optimal use of time during the festive period.

Dougal and Daddy Claret have tied up Pingreen and locked him in the cellar with only a finite amount of oxygen. Can the young penguin escape? Or will he die trying?

Dougal, Pingreen and Claret are joined by their first ever guest: Elf FPL. They discuss whether one can truly be loved without loving one's self before the pod descends into an online circle jerk with additional sound effects.

Dougal, Pinkygreen and Claret get hold of a ouija board and attempt to summon the ghost of Patrick Swayze and recite the whole original script of Dirty Dancing.

Dougal, Claret and Pingreen exchange love letters that they wrote when they were 13-years-old to determine who is the biggest virgin in the group.

Dougal, Claret and Pinkygreen watch back-to-back episodes of the Teletubbies whilst injecting heroin into their thighs to see which one throws up first.

Dougal, Claret and Pingreen discuss their favourite warlords of the last ten centuries and which ones made them the angriest.

Dougal, Pingreen and Claret discuss their picks for the upcoming double Gameweeks, discuss the roles of CDMs in FPL in Clarkie's Corner, vote for the Shit Tweet of the Week and answer a bucket load of community questions. Pingreen also attempts to pump crystal meth directly into his anus to pay hommage to Ben Crellin.

Dougal, Claret and Pingreen identify the most chemically-efficient bleaches on the market for everyday cleaning and do a cheeky taste test of each in a topsy-turvy, medically-urgent episode of Bonus Pints.