Welcome to Born to Ramble with Nikki Settelmeyer, the storytelling podcast where memoir, creative writing, motherhood, job hunting, humor, and the occasional literal shitstorm collide.
This week, Nikki has announcements, a new segment called “Adorable Things That My Son Says,” a surprisingly philosophical conversation about storytelling and intellectual property, another installment of The Job Report, and a hilarious—and unexpectedly emotional—excerpt from her upcoming book.
💄 Adorable Things That My Son Says
This week’s wisdom from Nikki’s son:
“Why does your lip gloss smell disgusting for a long time?”
Honestly, motherhood is a gift.
✍️ The Trouble With Reading Other People’s Stories
Nikki talks about one of her favorite writers, Augusten Burroughs, and the lesson she learned after recording an episode in which she read his short story “Little Crucifixions” from Possible Side Effects.
She loved the story so much that she wanted to share it with listeners—but realized that reading an entire copyrighted story on the podcast wasn’t something she should do without permission.
The episode is gone, but clips remain available as Shorts.
It’s also a jumping-off point for a larger conversation about storytelling, copyright, creativity, literary influences, and the importance of sharing the work you love without accidentally crossing legal or ethical boundaries.
💼 The Job Report: Would a Man Take $55,000?
It’s another edition of The Job Report, and Nikki has more job rejections to discuss—including an automated rejection from a company where she had interviewed with four people.
And naturally, she has questions.
Like:
Would a man take $55,000?
Nikki explores job hunting, salary expectations, financial stability, employee satisfaction, and the uncomfortable reality of trying to find meaningful work while also refusing to accept compensation that doesn’t reflect your experience.
The larger question becomes: Can someone truly do exceptional work while constantly living in financial survival mode?
And, perhaps more importantly, why are we expected to pretend we’re thrilled about salaries that don’t allow adults to comfortably support themselves?
🤖 The S**t Circle
Then we get to today’s story.
Nikki reads an excerpt from her upcoming book:
“My Robot Vacuum Drove Through a Pile of S**t and I Basically Had to Bury Her Alive.”
Yes. That is the actual title.
What starts as a ridiculous story about a robot vacuum, a cat, and a horrifying amount of poop becomes something much deeper.
Nikki is pregnant, preparing for motherhood, thinking about co-parenting, trying to keep working, and confronting the enormous emotional weight of having to figure everything out on her own.
Then the robot vacuum drives through cat s**t.
And keeps going.
The result is an eight-foot s**t circle smeared across the floor.
But beneath the comedy is a story about exhaustion, financial insecurity, independence, motherhood, childhood, loneliness, and the strange ways old wounds resurface when life becomes overwhelming.
The story moves between Nikki’s present-day pregnancy and a memory from her twenties, when she was living in a tiny apartment, working, attending writing classes, struggling financially, and wondering what it would feel like for someone—just once—to take care of her.
It’s funny.
It’s disgusting.
It’s sad.
It’s deeply human.
And yes, there is a robot vacuum involved.
✍️ Coming in October: The Craft of Writing
If you’re a writer, storyteller, memoirist, or someone who simply loves understanding how stories work, October is going to be all about the Craft of Writing.
Nikki will be talking about things like:
Scene vs. setting
Story structure
Memoir writing
Creative nonfiction
Character development
Dialogue
Storytelling techniques
Finding the funny in difficult experiences
Turning real life into compelling stories
So subscribe and follow Born to Ramble so you don’t miss the October episodes.
About Born to Ramble
Born to Ramble with Nikki Settelmeyer is a storytelling podcast about memoir, creative nonfiction, writing, motherhood, midlife, work, starting over, and the absurdity of being a human being.
Sometimes Nikki talks about writing.
Sometimes she reads her own stories.
Sometimes she talks about jobs.
Sometimes she talks about motherhood.
And sometimes a robot vacuum drives through a pile of s**t and somehow becomes a metaphor for her entire life.
If you love funny memoirs, personal essays, creative writing, storytelling, literary humor, women’s stories, motherhood, midlife reinvention, and brutally honest conversations about life, you’re in the right place.
Subscribe, follow, and come ramble with Nikki.
Get full access to Born to Ramble at borntoramble.substack.com/subscribe
