Thank you for tuning in! To read the original story, please visit https://borntoramble.substack.com/p/14-emerald-grill
Born to Ramble
Class A French Fries & The Ketchup Catastrophe | Surviving the Worst Restaurant Job Ever
Episode Description
Have you ever had a job so ridiculous that years later it still feels like a fever dream?
In this episode of Born to Ramble, I take you back to my days waiting tables at the Emerald Grill, a diner somewhere between a truck stop and a small-town institution. It was the kind of place where the cook disappeared into the walk-in cooler, the dishwasher asked me for roast beef sandwiches every ten minutes, customers believed french fries came in quality rankings, and I somehow ended my shift covered head-to-toe in ketchup.
What begins as a simple Sunday night shift quickly spirals into complete chaos thanks to:
A customer demanding "Class A French Fries."
A cook having an existential crisis after a breakup.
A senior discount showdown.
A three-gallon bag of ketchup with terrible timing.
One very memorable decision to walk out...and never return.
If you've ever worked in food service, retail, or customer service, you'll probably recognize a little bit of yourself in this story. If you haven't, consider this your warning.
In This Episode
🍟 The customer who insisted the fries weren't "Class A"
👩🍳 Life behind the scenes at a truck stop
😳 How restaurant jobs can push people to the brink of insantiy
🥫 The infamous ketchup explosion
🤣 The coworkers you could only find in food service
🚪 The shift that ended with me walking out for good
✍️ Why terrible jobs often become our best stories
Memorable Moments
"These are Class B french fries."
"I'm losing my mind, Wade."
"The guy out there can help himself with our Class B fries."
"I got in my car and never went back to the Emerald Grill."
About Born to Ramble
Born to Ramble is a storytelling podcast where memoir meets humor, nostalgia, and the wonderfully absurd moments that shape our lives.
Hosted by writer, children's author, and creative writing instructor Nikki Settelmeyer, each episode features original essays about growing up in the Midwest, terrible jobs, motherhood, corporate burnout, books, reality TV, and the unexpected stories hiding in everyday life.
Because everything is a story waiting to be written.
Read the Original Story
This episode is a reading of my short story, Class A French Fries and the Ketchup Catastrophe originally published on Born to Ramble on Substack. If you enjoy listening, you'll love reading the full story and exploring more humorous memoirs and creative nonfiction.
About Born to Ramble
Born to Ramble podcast features audio essays and stories by me, Nikki Settelmeyer, and others. I love creative non-fiction, memoir, and hilarious real stories with a sprinkling of tragedy. Special episodes delve into the “Craft of Writing.” I love writing and I love talking about it. I love talking. #voice
“Hosted by writer, children's author, and creative writing instructor Nikki Settelmeyer, each episode explores the funny, messy, and meaningful moments that make up everyday life—from corporate burnout and midlife reinvention to parenting adventures and the stories hiding in ordinary moments.” –Anonymous
Subscribe to Born to Ramble
If you enjoy stories about writing, l-i-v-i-n-g, (geriatric) parenting, creativity, books, and starting over, be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode of Born to Ramble. I'm over here failing fast and the momentum's got me excited.
The Born to Ramble newsletter comes out every Thursday at 11:00, and podcast episodes are released each Saturday at 12:07pm ♥️ YouTube Reels and TikTok shorts every day ♥️
Connect with Nikki
✍️ Writer
🎙️ Host of Born to Ramble
Subscribe on Substack for essays, behind-the-scenes writing updates, podcast episodes, and plenty of stories
Get full access to Born to Ramble at borntoramble.substack.com/subscribe
