In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I give my thoughts on boundaries and why knowing which ones to have can actually contribute to your growth in all areas of your life.

So, how exactly do you define “boundaries”?

In the simplest of terms, I define a boundary as an imaginary, or invisible, line that separates me from you.

There are many categories of boundaries, which we dive into in this episode.

I found that the more healthy boundaries I set in my life, the happier I get. That’s because they are essential to feelings of safety. They are such a basic need.

Don’t so many of us live out our lives without feeling safe on a very deep level? Aren’t so many of us stressed on a day-to-day basis?

Boundaries alleviate some stress because we start to place an “invisible fence” that helps us feel safer.

Boundaries also help us gain a really clear sense of self. We have needs, wants, desires, dreams, values, and an identity. Once we get clear on the things most important to us, the right boundaries that we need to set for ourselves emerge.

I’ll be diving deep into the three types of boundaries you should be setting for yourself today. But before that, let me explain the difference between…

Self-Boundaries and Boundaries That Others Need to Respect

It gets easier to enforce boundaries when you start enforcing boundaries on yourself.

For me, a self-boundary is to not eat gluten or dairy because they wreak havoc in my body.

If you constantly violate your own boundaries, you feel out of alignment trying to get others to remember them.

The more we make it a point to uphold and honor our self-boundaries, the more likely others will respect those boundaries as well.

How others treat you is a reflection on how you treat yourself.

With this context in mind, what are the three types of boundaries you need to set for yourself?

#1 Physical Boundaries

This is the most straightforward type of boundary. Your home is an obvious physical boundary: Strangers can’t just walk through your front door.

Let’s now take this same principle and apply it to our bodies. It’s as simple as being able to clearly tell someone to step away if they cross the boundary that feels right to you, whether it's one or two feet.

We’re not in alignment with what our emotional, mental, and physical needs are at that moment, we end up violating it, say “yes” reluctantly, and then end up resenting ourselves for not having the courage to say “no”.

#2 Emotional Boundaries

Emotional boundaries tend to be easier to set with strangers than with our family and close friends because we don’t want to come off as cold or uncaring to those we love.

One of the things I’ve learned in my own marriage is that boundaries can prevent common arguments from ever happening.

Communication is essential to setting really good emotional boundaries.

#3 Time Boundaries

Honoring your time starts with the word “no”.

As human beings, we naturally feel compelled to impress others, to not let someone else down. We are so scared of the word “no” because we don’t want to make people feel bad.

Your time is precious. Look at every aspect of your life and find out how you can save more of that time and, by extension, that energy that you can now put to better use.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

Free resource: 10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

Visit my website: www.visalakshi.com 

Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/lifecoachvisa 

Join my FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/becomingyou1 

Connect with me on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/visashanmugam

Mastermind Link: http://bit.ly/becoming-themastermind