Boundaries keep us safe. They differentiate us from each other. They help us focus on what’s most important to us and they improve relationships by creating clear expectations, and responsibilities. However, it can be hard to figure out what boundaries you need to set.
One way to identify your boundaries, is to think about the areas of your life where you’re experiencing problems. Do you constantly feel exhausted? Do you feel uncomfortable around certain people? Do you get upset when your loved ones try to run your life? Each of these issues means you lack boundaries, in these areas of your life. Here are seven common types of boundaries, that we all should have. Knowing what they are can help us be clear on what we need and help set specific boundaries.
1). Physical Boundaries- Physical boundaries protect your space. They give you the right to not be touched, to have privacy, and to meet any physical needs you may have. They let others know how close they can get to you, what kind of physical touch (if any) is okay, how much privacy you need, and how to act in your personal space. Physical boundaries clearly define at your body and personal space belong to you.
2). Sexual Boundaries- Sexual boundaries protect your right to consent, to having sex. Sexual boundaries allow you to decide what kind of sexual touch and intimacy you want, how often, when, where, and with whom who you want it with.
3). Emotional & Mental Boundaries- Emotional & mental boundaries protect your right to have your own feelings and thoughts. They protect you from not having your feelings criticized or invalidated. They also protect you from taking on other people’s feelings, as your own. Emotional boundaries also allow us to create emotional safety by respecting each other’s feelings, not oversharing personal information that may be inappropriate for the level of closeness the relationship offers.
4). Spiritual or Religious Boundaries- Spiritual boundaries protect your right to believe in who and/or what you want to believe in. It allows you to worship as you wish (in person or online), and practice the spiritual or religious beliefs, that work for you. Example: Praying before you eat or going to church on Sunday and not Saturday, etc.
5). Financial and Material Boundaries- Financial and material boundaries protect your financial resources and possessions, your right to spend your money as you see fit on whatever you want, to not give and/or loan your money or your things if you don’t want to.
6). Time Boundaries- Time boundaries protect how you spend your time. They protect you from agreeing to do things you that you don’t want to do. It also allows you to not have people waste your time.
7). Non-Negotiable Boundaries- Non-negotiable boundaries are deal-breakers, these are things you can’t, don’t, and won’t negotiate on. Examples: Cheating in a relationship, smoking in your car or home, etc. We all need some non-negotiable boundaries, because if not people will take advantage of you and your kindness. You must make sure you stick to your non-negotiables, because if you don’t people won’t take you seriously. Once you start making allowances for some, everybody will expect the same thing.
Be the reason someone feels welcomed, seen, heard, loved, and supported! As you do that, go out there and be great, because great is calling you and great is calling me. Be blessed, have an amazing day on purpose, and we will talk again next week.
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