In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss an income-oriented “optimistic gentleman” and a queer pansexual with an intense gothy profile.

Kris’s profile highlights include: The Oxford comma, Lauren’s hatred of car photos and those featuring visible earbuds, an empty hotel chair, quality ice cubes, the orgasm gap, and the best smile we’ve seen in ages. Overall, this profile showed a lot of promise. We wish the photos appeared in a different order and were better edited. Kris swiped right to no avail.

Lauren’s profile highlights include: Many different hair and nail/finger colors, hand tattoos, dyed dog ears, missing eyeballs, body gore, selfies with fruit, and your own music being your anthem. Overall, this profile felt more like an art installation and/or a recipe for codependency. While Lauren didn’t swipe right, they did listen to their music.