Bourbon On Ice

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It's not our fault. We've been crying for years, she's the one who hasn't shown up yet. Have you seen her? The Scary Godmother, that is, a once beloved cartoon special from the days of [ahem] early 3D-rendered animation. Sure, it wasn't perfect, but we still loved her, and her weird friends (annoying werewolf, gay skeleton, impetuous human child, and so on and so forth) - although that sequel.... Anyway, there was also a chance at more, but we were robbed of it. Robbed! Want to hear more? Take a listen. 

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It's the return of two things: Halloween creepiness, and Nerd Bytes. Shorter episodes mean easier digestion, at least that's what we're telling ourselves. At any rate, we're heading back a decade or two to the time when a cartoonist named Jim Davis attempted to traumatize his audience by subverting laughter over a fat orange cat named Garfield with a Halloween story arc that's just plain...odd. 

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Your Friend Frosty is out of town and also gnashing his teeth at his very slow editing software and strangled Wi-Fi signal. Your bartender Mike Whiskey is hard at work and busy being married. That can only mean one thing - it's time for an episode of Bourbon On Ice, but one you may or may not have heard before, so we're sharing it with you now: It's The Rewind, people. We're kicking it back a few years to share an episode all about candy, because, let's face it, October is the month where we sit back and unwrap that delicious bounty and share it with no one but ourselves. But maybe not these horrifying monstrosities...

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The year is 1986. Something is about to be born that is now as old as your plucky podcasting host Your Friend Frosty (and he's totally not sensitive about that at all). Pack your passport and bags, and also a time machine, we're heading to merry old London and we're getting super small. Mouse-sized, really. It's the 40th anniversary of a strange and mostly forgotten Disney film that would totally not be made today, due to some...let's just say, some questionable story and animation choices. Also, your bartender Mike Whiskey reads poetry and receives his own birthday present. And he does it with more grace than Frosty ever will...

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Put on your virtual reality visor, grab your controller, and prepare to leave reality behind. Or just, you know, listen to this episode - we're going digital. That's right, it's time we talked video games. Again. And after an update on The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time's re-re-re-release, we're off to the world of hypothetical questions and strange answers that we can't possibly tell you. Your Friend Frosty grows into a giant, Whiskey turns into a chicken, and we eat fruit off the floor. Things happen, people. But you know that...you've been here before. 

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From the mad mind that brought you "Barbie & The Eternal Cruise" and "Infinite Lasagna", it's Your Friend Frosty bringing you something weirder and more unhinged than ever. That's right - it's an onslaught of dancing and weirdly sensual food-based animatronics preaching the word of good nutrition! No, really. Teaching your bartender Mike Whiskey a dab of dearly departed Disney history, Frosty unleashes the horror/weirdness that was the edutainment show and it's subsequent replacement, Kitchen Kabaret and Food Rocks. Prepare to be shocked. Or at least weirded out by the knowledge that this did, yes, really exist. Also, a salute to the end of tourist season here on Cape Cod. Glad that's over...

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Summer is over, and that's sad. But should you wish to cling desperately to the last few shreds of warm weather and sunshine before autumn completely swallows us, then have we got news for you. Note that we didn't say good or bad, just news. Your Friend Frosty and your bartender Mike Whiskey are reserving that for you to figure out and pass judgment on. On what, you ask? Why, a cinematic masterpiece, shot entirely on Cape Cod, involving mutant sharks, blue goo, and a rather specific water park. Is this a deranged hallucination brought on by not listening to enough Bourbon On Ice? Maybe. But there's only one way to find out...

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Your crimes are known. Your fate is sealed. You stand in judgment by...a bunch of animals wearing hats and all springing from the strangest meme that has ever been memed. Huh. Okay, so, Your Friend Frosty has past trauma to unpack, and your bartender Mike Whiskey is introduced to the concept of burritos. It's par for the course at this point - and it's another Nerd Byte here on Bourbon On Ice. 

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Warning: animated violence ahead! Well, no, not animated. That's not how a podcast works. But audio violence. And even then, potential violence. This all depends on Your Friend Frosty's meme and the power of DnD knowledge that spews forth from your bartender Mike Whiskey, telling us how much pain to experience, when, and how painful it'll all be. Enjoy this latest Nerd Byte, and wear a heavily armored plate. 

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So, Your Friend Frosty's life has completely fallen apart. Everyone he knows and loves is suffering from either sickness, personal tragedy, or hospitalization. Fortunately, there's an episode in the can, so jump on board and take a listen. Where do you go when joy is needed? Under the sea to a pineapple and about...what, thirty years ago? Somewhere around there. Also, Whiskey brings up a maze of such mystery, it remains mysterious to this day. Enjoy!