Now I expected a lot of things on this project: I expected a lot of pain and suffering, especially from the early months. What I did NOT expect was the quality to be so low that our episode on the ultra-low-effort Vin Diesel 'tough guy takes care of kids' comedy THE PACIFIER became a total lovefest, because the film had the temerity to have a plot that goes from A to B to C and all the characters seem at least two-dimensional.

We're picking at scraps here, and while this isn't Actually Any Good, it's competent and professional in a way that looks so much better to the ARE WE THERE YETs and BE COOLs of the world, and we had an awesome guest in Kevin Gray, who fit right in like he was the third host. We had SO MUCH FUN on this episode, and I'd love for you to check it out!

Brian's Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/SchmanthonyP⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Brian's Bluesky: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bsky.app/profile/schmanthonyp.bsky.social⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Rob's Bluesky: ⁠https://bsky.app/profile/wormsgreenrealm.bsky.social⁠

Rob's Substack: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://artofilliterates.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Kevin's Twitter: https://x.com/notoriouskpg

Theme Song: "Any Day Can Be Bicycle Day" by Ether Driver ( ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://etherdiver.bandcamp.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ )

This one is a DOOZY, folks.

We had to call in the big guns: the great Jane Altoids (@staticbluebat) joins us for "BE COOL", an unhinged hothouse nightmare of a nominally breezy crime comedy that has been entirely forgotten by the general public for very good reasons, but juuust squeaked into the lower rungs of our project.

We go LONG as there's so much to pick apart with this one, a total mess that sags under the weight of its slapdash construction, its instantly dated snapshot of Hollywood and the music business and its slavish obsession with its predecessor "Get Shorty".

This episode was SO MUCH FUN, please check it out!

Brian's Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/SchmanthonyP⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Brian's Bluesky: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bsky.app/profile/schmanthonyp.bsky.social⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Rob's Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/wormsgreenrealm.bsky.social

Rob's Substack: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://artofilliterates.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Jane's Twitter: https://x.com/staticbluebat

Jane's Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/staticbluebat.bsky.social

Theme Song: "Any Day Can Be Bicycle Day" by Ether Driver ( ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://etherdiver.bandcamp.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ )

We, shockingly, have our first GOOD movie this week, and we have the great Matt Lynch (@colonelmortimer, Letterboxd, The Suspense is Killing Us, Scarecrow Video) to cover maybe the only good movie for months in either direction: Keanu Reeves in "CONSTANTINE". We discuss its tangled backstory of its creation, striking performances from actors expected (Keanu, Tilda Swinton, Peter Stormare) and more unexpected (Gavin Rossdale?!), its incredibly enduring special effects, the reasoning behind its day-of critical pans and the even more tangled attempts at a sequel, as its reputation has only grown in the decades since.

JUMP IN FOR A GREAT CONVERSATION!

Brian's Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/SchmanthonyP⁠⁠⁠⁠

Brian's Bluesky: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bsky.app/profile/schmanthonyp.bsky.social⁠⁠⁠⁠

Rob's Substack: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://artofilliterates.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠

Matt's Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/colonelmortimer.bsky.social

Theme Song: "Any Day Can Be Bicycle Day" by Ether Driver ( ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://etherdiver.bandcamp.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠ )

On our fourth episode, Rob and I have our first divergence of opinion about the quality of a movie on our list, our biggest hit so far, the 11th highest grossing film of 2005, but I'm writing the copy here so I can refer to it as the absolutely demented, scattershot romantic comedy "HITCH", starring Will Smith, Kevin James and Eva Mendes.

We delve into the film's awkward 2005-ass gender politics, the ethics of pick-up artists, a confusing plot that was reportedly being re-written day-of and then improv'd over, which leads to wild plot holes and INSANE plot digressions, including whether it's appropriate to roundhouse kick your date into the Hudson River and then take her to a major tourist destination to confront her with evidence of a mass murderer she's related to. Also that you never ever forget that Kevin James is not only hapless, he's also fat.

Brian's Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/SchmanthonyP⁠⁠⁠

Brian's Bluesky: ⁠⁠⁠https://bsky.app/profile/schmanthonyp.bsky.social⁠⁠⁠

Rob's substack: ⁠⁠⁠https://artofilliterates.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠

Theme Song: "Any Day Can Be Bicycle Day" by Ether Driver ( ⁠⁠⁠https://etherdiver.bandcamp.com/⁠⁠⁠ )

We're up to episode 3 and we've already arrived at what very well might be the absolute worst film we cover on our 2005 season: the 24th highest grossing film of the year, the nightmarishly bad kids road trip comedy "Are We There Yet?", which has an extremely bizarre relationship to its setting, its characters, their romances, their jobs, and their relation to each other and the world at large. We delve into it back to front because every scene just gets weirder and shittier and more nonsensical than the last.

Brian's Twitter: ⁠⁠https://x.com/SchmanthonyP⁠⁠

Brian's Bluesky: ⁠⁠https://bsky.app/profile/schmanthonyp.bsky.social⁠⁠

Rob's substack: ⁠⁠https://artofilliterates.substack.com/⁠⁠

Theme Song: "Any Day Can Be Bicycle Day" by Ether Driver ( ⁠⁠https://etherdiver.bandcamp.com/⁠⁠ )

Our second entry in the 2005 top 50 is "Coach Carter", an inspirational-teacher basketball drama starring the great Samuel L. Jackson. We delve into the unusual journey director Thomas Carter took from starring in The White Shadow and the very quirky hybrid thing this movie turns out to be. Topics include Slamball, Marianne Williamson and MIND OF MENCIA. CHECK IT OUT.

Brian's Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/SchmanthonyP⁠

Brian's Bluesky: ⁠https://bsky.app/profile/schmanthonyp.bsky.social⁠

Rob's substack: ⁠https://artofilliterates.substack.com/⁠

Theme Song: "Any Day Can Be Bicycle Day" by Ether Driver ( ⁠https://etherdiver.bandcamp.com/⁠ )

For our VERY FIRST EPISODE, we invite the great David Roth (Defector Media, The Distraction) to join us to help usher in our series covering the shameful films we all gave our money to go see 20 years ago, and we start with a real doozy, the first-week-of-January Michael Keaton supernatural...thriller(?) "White Noise"!

We delve into VERY REAL and VERY SERIOUS experiences of ELECTRONIC VOICE PHENOMENA, the dour appeal of Deborah Kara Unger and this film's inexplicable status as a landmark of the January movie release calendar. JOIN US

Brian's Twitter: https://x.com/SchmanthonyP

Brian's Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/schmanthonyp.bsky.social

Rob's substack: https://artofilliterates.substack.com/

Theme Song: "Any Day Can Be Bicycle Day" by Ether Driver ( https://etherdiver.bandcamp.com/ )