This week Tamara chats with Shaun Coffey, co-author of the book Boys Do Cry,  a Case Manager and long-time trauma, addiction, and recovery addict about mental health and picking yourself back up once you've hit bottom. 

What to expect from this episode

• Shaun was once deemed chronically homeless and heavily involved in drugs from a young age 
• He was raised by his dad, who had schizoaffective disorder, bipolar and manic depression, which created a rough childhood and living environment for him where he was abused 
• He, himself, had undiagnosed ADHD until he was 38 years old 
• Dad didn't believe in him showing weakness or emotion as a child, which left him feeling locked inside of his own body 
• As an adult, it was difficult to deal with his emotions
• He grew up without his mother and spent a majority of his life hating her due to manipulation from his father
• Joined the military as a means to make his father happy, but was later removed due to his mental health 
• After his father passed away, he finally felt he could heal
• With the life insurance money, he got heavily involved in drugs and got messed up with the wrong crowd 
• He talks about his struggle with imposter syndrome and how the feedback from his book changed his outlook
• He talks about his journey of going into therapy and a program that has helped him discover and love himself 
• What does success mean to Shaun and if he could go back and change one thing what would it be
• We discuss the power and the impact of letting men feel their emotions 

What you can learn from this episode

• The rug phenomenon - when someone always promises you something and then pull a rug from under you over and over 
• How to better understand your trauma responses
• Not every therapist is for you and you need to take the time to find the right one for you
• The importance of learning  your own lessons in life 
• Not to be afraid of confrontation and face that fear head-on because you never know what you can learn from that moment 
• How you can be part of the solution of mental health stigma and just being kinder to those around you 

To learn more about Shaun, check out his website

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