Brave Haven Podcast

🎙️ What’s Next for Brave Haven?

In this short update episode, we share a couple announcements about the future of the podcast.

We also share a quick update about the upcoming book release and how to stay connected in the meantime. ❤️

Remember to sign up for the newsletter at bravehavenpodcast.com

In this final episode of Brave Haven Season One, we take a look back at the journey so far.

We share behind-the-scenes moments from recording, revisit key themes and phrases from the season, and talk honestly about what it was like to record the entire season in a condensed window of time.

This season has included conversations around trauma, abuse awareness, forgiveness, justice, triggers, and what it means to walk alongside someone in pain with both truth and compassion.

We also share what’s ahead for Brave Haven as we transition into Season Two.

This episode is reflective, conversational, and a closing of a meaningful chapter in the life of this podcast.

We’re grateful you’re here as we wrap up Season One together!

💬 In This Episode We Reflect On:

• Season One highlights and behind-the-scenes moments

• Key takeaways from stories shared throughout podcast

• What this season has meant personally and spiritually

📢 What’s Next for Brave Haven

• A short sidebar episode introducing Season Two’s direction and co-host

• A special interview with June this summer tied to the upcoming book release

• Newsletter sign-up for updates on the book + Season Two launch

👉 Sign up for updates at bravehavenpodcast.com (form is on the homepage)

❤️ Thank You

Thank you for listening, learning, and walking through this season with us.

We’re honored you’ve been part of these conversations.

Until next time…

YOU ARE WORTH what IT takes to heal

AND you are NEVER ALONE

-June and Kayla

When someone shares their story of abuse or trauma, the response they receive can either bring healing or create a kind of secondary suffering.

In this episode of Brave Haven, we unpack the most common hurtful, dismissive, and spiritually misapplied phrases survivors often hear, and explain why they land so painfully. From minimizing comments to victim-blaming and “spiritual clichés,” we respond in real time as honestly and biblically as we can.

But we don’t stop there.

We also walk through what actually helps: how to support someone in suffering with presence, truth, and compassion.

If you’ve ever:

• Wondered why certain comments hit so deeply
• Struggled with what to say to someone in pain
• Been told to “just forgive” or “move on”
• Or questioned how faith fits into healing from trauma

This episode is for you.

❤️ Helpful Ways to Support a Survivor

• Be present (you don’t need perfect words)
• Listen before speaking
• Validate their experience (“I believe you”)
• Offer prayer
• Provide specific, practical help
• Exercise discernment and patience

🚩 Harmful Phrases Discussed

• "Are you sure that happened?"
• “It wasn’t that bad.”
• “At least…”
• “You should be over it by now.”
• “God meant for that to happen.”
• “You need to forgive and move on.”
• “Don’t air your family’s dirty laundry.”
• “They did the best they could.”
• “Blood is thicker than water.”

📖 Scriptures Referenced

• Job 2:13 – Presence before words
• Romans 12:15 – "Weep with those who weep"
• Galatians 6:2 – Carry One Another's Burdens
• Philippians 4:8 – Redirecting anxious thoughts
• Romans 3:23 – "For all have sinned"
• Matthew 10:37 – Allegiance to Christ
• Luke 10:25-37 – The Good Samaritan

📚 Resources Mentioned

Henderson Series:

1. ⁠Defining Trauma Biblically - John Henderson⁠
2. ⁠Experience and Expression of Trauma from Childhood⁠
3. ⁠Body Truly Matters and the Heart Truly Determines⁠
4. ⁠Ministry of the Word to Survivors of Childhood Trauma⁠
5. ⁠Handling the Past Biblically (Applied to Severe Childhood Abuse) - Steve Viars

John Delony: A Dave Ramsey personality specializing in mental health and crisis response.

🔑 Some Key Takeaways

• Your healing does not have a deadline
• Biblical lament acknowledges real pain
• Forgiveness is a process
• Boundaries can be wise and godly
• Telling the truth is not dishonoring
• Sin belongs to the sinner, not the victim
• God's Word speaks louder than human opinion

And...YOU ARE WORTH what IT takes to heal

AND you are NEVER ALONE 💛

-Kayla and June

📢 Share & SupportIf this episode encouraged you, share it with someone who needs language for what they’ve experienced—or guidance on how to support others well.

In Part 2 of this conversation, Kayla and AJ move beyond recognizing trauma triggers and into what it actually looks like to live with them inside a healthy, growing marriage.

What does it take to build trust when triggers are unpredictable? How do you communicate when you're not ready to talk? And how can both spouses take responsibility without falling into codependency?

Together, they share practical tools, real-life examples, and the rhythms they've developed over a decade of marriage—navigating everything from early communication struggles to the ongoing challenges of writing, parenting, and healing in real time.

This episode explores:

• How simple phrases like “not yet” created safety in hard moments
• The role of boundaries, pauses, and “unfinished conversations”
• Supporting a spouse without trying to fix them
• Recognizing triggers early and responding with wisdom
• Avoiding codependency while still loving sacrificially
• How healing evolves over time (and doesn’t just “end”)
• Navigating new triggers in parenting and everyday life
• Why your spouse can be your “home field advantage,” but not your Savior

Whether you're a survivor or someone who loves one, this conversation offers hope, clarity, and practical ways to move forward together.

🎧 Listen to Part 1: “Where Did You Go?” - Recognizing Trauma Triggers in a Relationship

—

If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with someone who may need encouragement in their own healing journey.

YOU ARE WORTH what IT takes to heal

AND you are NEVER ALONE

Kayla and AJ

Something kept happening in our conversations...and I didn’t have the words yet to explain why.

In this episode of Brave Haven, we begin a two-part conversation about what trauma triggers can look like inside a relationship.

Early in our relationship, there were moments that didn’t quite make sense. Emotional reactions that didn’t match the situation, silence where there should have been words, and questions neither of us knew how to answer yet.

This episode focuses on recognizing the signs:

• What it looked like when I didn’t have words
• How AJ noticed patterns
• The difference between intentional behavior and trauma responses
• Why curiosity (not accusation) matters in early conversations

We also share real, everyday moments: miscommunication, emotional shutdown, and even a simple cooking mistake. All of which revealed there was something underneath the surface.

If you’ve ever wondered:

• “Why did I react that way?”
• “Why does my partner shut down or seem to disappear?”
• “How do you respond when something doesn’t make sense?”

You’re not alone.

Scripture Reference

“And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.”— 1 Thessalonians 5:14

YOU ARE WORTH what IT takes to heal

AND you are NEVER ALONE

-Kayla and AJ

In Part 2 of this Brave Haven conversation, we explore trauma triggers, explain dissociation, and talk about how survivors can respond to trauma responses with wisdom and hope rooted in Scripture.

RESOURCES:

• The Christian’s Guide to Psychological Terms by Marshall and Mary Asher
• Kayla's Book Recommendation: Loving God with All Your Mind by Elizabeth George
• We mentioned the “Henderson Trauma Series." Here are links to that series; in five sessions:

1. ⁠⁠Defining Trauma Biblically - John Henderson⁠⁠
2. ⁠⁠Experience and Expression of Trauma from Childhood⁠⁠
3. Body Truly Matters and the Heart Truly Determines⁠⁠
4. ⁠⁠Ministry of the Word to Survivors of Childhood Trauma⁠⁠
5. ⁠⁠Handling the Past Biblically (Applied to Severe Childhood Abuse) - Steve Viars⁠

VERSES:

Philippians 4:6–8 — “Do not be anxious… pray with thanksgiving… think on what is true and pure.”

Matthew 6:25–34 — “Consider the lilies… do not worry.”

Isaiah 41:10 — “Fear not, for I am with you.”

James 1:19–20 — “Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”

Ephesians 4:31–32 — “Put away wrath… be kind, tenderhearted, forgiving.”

Romans 8:1 — “There is therefore now no condemnation.”

Psalm 103:12 — “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions.”

Proverbs 29:25 — “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.”

Philippians 4:11–13 — “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content… I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”

Hebrews 13:5–6 — “I will never leave you nor forsake you… the Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”

John 15:13–15 — Jesus calls us His friends.

1 John 4:18–19 — “Perfect love casts out fear… we love because He first loved us.”

1 Corinthians 1:27

Thank you for joining us!

YOU ARE WORTH what IT takes to heal

AND you are NEVER ALONE

Love,

June and Kayla

In this episode of Brave Haven, we talk about some of our personal triggers and how they affect us. This isn’t about internet “offense,” but the deeper reactions that can surface when a place, smell, object, or person reminds us of past trauma.

This is a two-part conversation.

In Part 1, we share personal experiences.

In Part 2, we continue the discussion and explore:

• How triggers can change over time

• What dissociation looks like

• What Scripture has to say about walking wisely in these moments

YOU ARE WORTH what IT takes to heal

AND you are NEVER ALONE

Love,

Kayla and June

In every generation, people say the same thing: “The world has never been this bad.”
But Scripture says something different: there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9).

In this episode, we look at how cultures throughout history have normalized what God calls evil, why you cannot trust culture to define what is good, and why believers have always been called to live counterculturally. This truth brings unexpected peace to parents, survivors, and anyone trying to follow Christ in a confusing world.

We also wrestle with a difficult and deeply personal question from an early reader:
If God has a plan for our lives, did He mean for abuse to happen?

Today is part history lesson, part theology, and part practical encouragement. The answer for believers is not fear of culture, but faithfulness to God’s Word.

Scriptures:

Genesis 6:5 (Noah)

Genesis 11 (Tower of Babel)

Genesis 12 (Sarai and Abram)

Genesis 18 and 19 (Sodom and Gomorrah)

Genesis 22 (Isaac, Abraham's faith that God would provide v8)

Genesis 50:20 (What you meant for evil)

Leviticus 18:3, 21, 27, 29 (Do not do as they do)

Numbers 11:29 (Moses's wish)

Deuteronomy 12:4, 8, 30-31 (Do not do as they do)

Judges 17:6 (no king, everyone did as they saw fit), 18:1 (no king), 19:1 (no king), 21:25 (no king, everyone did as they saw fit)

1 Kings 16-21 (Jezebel)

Job 38-41 (God speaks)

Proverbs 14:12 (There is a way that seems right, but leads to death)

Jeremiah 17:9 (Heart is deceitful)

Daniel 1-6 (Daniel in Babylon)

John 17:17 (God's Word is Truth)

Romans 8:28 (The good of those who love Him)

Romans 9:20-21 (Clay to Potter, also in Isaiah 45:9, Jeremiah 18:6)

Ephesians 6:4 (Bring them up, also in Proverbs 22:6)

James 1:13-15 (God is not tempted by evil, nor does he tempt us with it, we are enticed to sin by our own evil desires)

1 John 4:4 (Greater is the One in you)

June's statement, "God hates evil acts against children, and human to human:

Matt 18:6 says better a millstone around your neck and drowned than to cause a child to sin.

The seven things God hates: Proverbs 6:16-19 (arrogance, lying, murder and violence against the innocent, malicious intent or evil schemes, feet swiftly running to evil, maligning character falsely, and causing strife in relationships).

Kayla quoting, "They couldn't control Christ's birth or death."

Christ's birth, God was sovereign and in control:

Christ's line (Matt 1) was repeatedly threatened:

• Abram & Jacob both gave wives under false pretenses
• Abraham and Jacob's wives had them both sleep with concubines (Gen 16 & 30)
• Judah's sons and Tamar (Gen 38)
• Boaz had to say yes to Ruth (Ruth 3)
• Solomon's women from other nations (1 Kings 11)

Couldn't kill Him when they wanted to:

Matthew 2:1-23, Matthew 12:14-15, Luke 4:28-30, John 8:59, John 10:39, John 11:47-53

Couldn't stop Him from dying in His sovereign timing:

Jesus repeatedly foretold His death and resurrection, knew when it was His time (Matthew 16:21; Mark 8:31; Luke 9:22; John 13:1-4) Jesus had the power to avoid death, instead gave His life willingly, in fulfillment of God's eternal plan (Matthew 26:53; John 10:17–18; Acts 2:23-24; 1 Peter 1:20).

The Ecclesiastes section:

*Kayla accidently said Ephesians at one point, but all Ecclesiastes

Solomon tries it all:

2:1-11

Solomon declares vanities:

1:2, 2:2, 5:10

Solomon's conclusion:

12:13-14, with a small teaser in 2:24-25

RESOURCES:

Article by Jenna Ross

Timeline

Greece: 800 BC–146 BC

Greco-Roman influence: 500 BC–400 AD

Rome: 753 BC–476 AD

Vocabulary

• Erastes (lover, older man)
• Eromenos (beloved/younger)
• Proaulia (pre-wedding rites)
• Coemptio (marriage by purchase)
• Usus (marriage by cohabitation)
• Manus (father’s hand to husband)

Mythology Mentioned

Zeus & Ganymede, Artemis, Aphrodite (Venus), Athena, Hera, Adonis

Article about the festival of Adonia:

Recommended Resource on God's sovereignty:

Chapter 9 of "Consider the Lilies" by Jonny Ardavanis

YOU ARE WORTH what IT takes to heal,

AND you are NEVER ALONE,

June and Kayla

What can justice look like after abuse?

In this second half of a longer conversation, Kayla and June reflect on their experiences navigating the criminal justice system after childhood sexual abuse.

We will talk about post prison restrictions, restraining orders, and talk about God's justice.

For further study:

God’s justice in the Bible is His perfect, righteous standard applied with fairness, truth, and holiness. It rewards good, punishes evil, and restores what is broken. Unlike human justice, which can be biased or incomplete, God’s justice is rooted in His unchanging character.

Here’s a breakdown of the verses discussed:

God’s justice flows from His character

• Deuteronomy 32:4 – "He is the Rock, His works are perfect, and all His ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is He."
• Psalm 89:14 – "Righteousness and justice are the foundation of Your throne; love and faithfulness go before You."

God’s justice is impartial

• Acts 10:34 – "Then Peter began to speak: 'I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism.'"
• Romans 2:6, 11 – "God ‘will repay each person according to what they have done’... For God does not show favoritism."

His justice has nothing to do with where we come from. It does not depend on status, race, wealth, or power.

God’s justice defends the oppressed

• Isaiah 1:17 – "Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow."
• Psalm 103:6 – "The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed."

Justice in God’s eyes always includes caring for the vulnerable.

God’s justice punishes evil and rewards righteousness

• Proverbs 21:15 – "When justice is done, it brings joy to the righteous but terror to evildoers."
• Nahum 1:3 – "The LORD is slow to anger but great in power; the LORD will not leave the guilty unpunished."

His justice is righteous accountability.

God’s justice is fulfilled through Christ

• Romans 3:25–26 – "God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement... to demonstrate His righteousness, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus."

On the cross, God’s justice and mercy met. Sin was punished, and sinners were offered forgiveness.

Summary:

God’s justice is the flawless application of His righteousness. It is always fair, never corrupt, defending the weak, punishing evil, rewarding good, and ultimately restoring creation through Christ. It is not only retributive (dealing with wrongs) but also restorative (making things right).

Thank you for being here today.

YOU ARE WORTH what IT takes to heal

AND you are NEVER ALONE

Love,

June and Kayla

What can justice look like after abuse?

In this first half of a longer conversation, Kayla and June reflect on their experiences navigating the criminal justice system after childhood sexual abuse.

From parole hearings and victim notification failures to prison conditions and inmate violence, this episode briefly examines how man’s justice operates.

Information Shared:

• The Lord puts people in power (Romans 13)
• Those who have forgiven much love much (Luke 7)
• VINE - Victim Information & Notification Every Day

What’s Coming in Part 2

In the second half of this conversation, we’ll go deeper into restraining orders and protection orders, the rights and restrictions placed on abusers, and the difficult balance between victim safety and offender protections.

Then we will touch on where peace, trust, and justice ultimately come from when human systems are insufficient.

We look forward to continuing the conversation then,

You are worth what it takes to heal

and you are never alone.

June and Kayla