Breakdown The Universe

In our first official Part Two, we finish the second half of The Goblet of Fire. And buckle up, because every book from now will have more than two parts.

At this stage Harry's life has improved a bit, Rita Skeeter is getting scoops, Sirius is back, wizard poverty makes no sense, Harry sees so many visions, Neville's tragic backstory is revealed, Harry does a training montage, the Third Task is another boring spectator sport, Tommy R returns and Edward Cullen dies, several twists are revealed and Dumbledore silently confirms his plans for ultimate victory.

This is the turning point for the series, but for us... there's eleven episodes to go. Oh, what have we done?

So... turns out this one never uploaded when it was supposed to, so we're only, oh, 96 days late. Anyway, here it is, and it's... truly awful.

We watched the Star Wars Holiday Special, the TV special that George Lucas tried to kill, that Carrie Fisher tried to save, and that featured extended conversations in an alien language with no translations. The plot is mediocre, Boba Fett is introduced in cartoon form, none of the original actors wanted to be there, and it has squiffy connections to canon continuity.

Oh, and it fucking sucks.

Sorry for the delay, but a belated Merry Christmas to you all!

Day Eleven is here, and we're doing another modern movie. Today we discuss the Kurt Russell vehicle The Christmas Chronicles.

Yet another take on Santa and his astounding ability to deliver gifts to billions of people every year, but this time he's Kurt Russell. Join two kids as they help Santa ruin Christmas, then fix it up.

One more to go, peeps. One more.

Merry Christmas Mrs Blaze's Mum! I know you've been waiting for this one, sorry it took so long.

In what is our first (but by no means last) split episode we begin our discussion on the fourth Harry Potter novel, The Goblet of Fire.

Outside of a plot breakdown, we discuss Harry's possible powers of far-sight, why did wizards choose owls for their postal service, the fact that Molly and Arthur Weasley are Harry's true parents, that Hermione never sees her family, how Mad-Eye's mad eye is more powerful than you think, why Muggle students aren't all as outraged about House Elf slavery as they should be, how Hagrid is actually very competent as a teacher, and how boring the Second Triwizard Task would have been for the crowd.

Buckle up everyone - this is the start of multiple episodes per book, and we go deep.

Which self-respecting men will declare to the world that they like a sappy Rom-Com? These self-loathing guys, that's who! Join us in our discussion of the modern-classic Christmas movie, The Holiday.

Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jude Law and Jack Black all come together for an ultimately predictable, but overall, really enjoyable film.

Two days to go. That's right, two days till Christmas. Get excited, peeps.

Look, it's not as "woke" as you might think, but this is the story of a young woman, and the mantle of being Santa that was kind of thrust upon her. This is Noelle.

It's hard to hate either Anna Kendrick or Bill Hader, so just don't, and then watch this pretty serviceable Christmas movie. Yeah, we kind of know how it's gonna go from very early on, but who cares? It's Christmas, y'all.

Three to go after this one. Oooh, we're close now!

So, we tried to pick a terrible Hallmark-style movie, but we accidentally picked a kind of okay, slightly charming Christmas Rom-Com. Today is the Lindsay Lohan vehicle Our Little Secret.

So, the family dynamic is a bit weird, and it's a little tough keeping track of who is banging who, but it's pretty okay. God, I hate myself for even writing that.

Oh, there's also drug use, so that's pretty funny.

So, it might not be the original, but this remake is totally worth the time - it's time for Miracle On 34th Street.

This 1994 remake of an absolute classic is totally worth your time - yeah, it's a bit cheesy, yeah, it's very corny, but also... yeah, it's kind of great.

Do the watching, feel the stuff, experience the story-like nature of the thing.

'Tis officially the halfway mark - welcome to the Sixth Pod of Christmas, where today we discuss the Musical-Comedy film "Spirited".

This is one of our only disagreements - Blaze didn't like it and Henno kind of did. But if you like Will Ferrell and Ryan Reynolds and want to hear them try to sing a bit, feel free to listen to our take and then watch the movie.

Hello, hello. Here we go again.

It's day five of our Pods of Christmas, and we discuss the first sequel of the year - the follow up to the hijinks of Kevin McCallister, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.

Despite a cameo by one of shittest blokes in history, this is a serviceable sequel, whilst also just being pretty much the same film as the first.

Stay tuned for the next one.