Show notes:

In this episode, Liv and Tiffany explore the terms “real alcoholic” and “real recovery.” For example, people in the rooms often say “you might be sober, but you’re not in real recovery.”

The overall issue of using terms like these is the implication that you have to get to a certain state (being a “real alcoholic”, or hitting “rock bottom,” for AA to work. Anyone feeling that AA isn’t the right fit for someone often hears that they can’t really have a problem and they aren’t desperate enough. This is not only harmful, it’s untrue. AA is not the validator of anyone’s problem: only the individual suffering can truly assess if they have a problem, and that might be a “grey area” drinking problem or acute alcohol use disorder.

This thinking doesn’t allow for other pathways of recovery, either. Just because AA isn’t the right fit for someone, that doesn’t mean that they haven’t had enough pain. The fact that they have walked through the doors of AA is enough reason to extend the hand of recovery. But to imply that they don’t have AUD because the program isn’t the right fit is shaming. It pushes someone back to using because they think they haven’t suffered enough. Second, it’s also inappropriate for someone in AA to think they have the authority of a doctor, or of the person with AUD.  

“Real recovery” is a term often bandied around by people in 12-step programs. For example, they sometimes say that you might be sober but you might not be in “real recovery.” I cannot stress enough that for someone who is seeking help with harmful drinking and using behaviors is recovery. Recovery is an individualized process that isn’t beholden to a certain pathway or program. We have to stop speaking with such authority that we know of the only way to recover. Just because something works for us does not mean it will work for everyone else. There is always another way. And we shouldn’t shame anyone for discovering their own path.

We invite you to subscribe to our podcast, and tell us the ways in which you’re breaking free in our free Facebook community: Breaking Free Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/breakingfreecommunity.

#Recovery #Allpaths, #allpathways, #recoverypathways, #BreakingFree, #12steprecovery, #AlcoholicsAnonymous, #alternativepathways, #alternativesToAA, #sober, #sobriety,  diets dont work, anti-diet, Intuitive Eating, Diet culture, why cant I stop eating, help with overeating, binge eating, binging, life after 12 step recovery, body attunement, Disordered eating, eating disorders, sugar addiction, Alcoholism, addiction, how to live sober, sobriety, how to stop drinking, recovery podcast, sobriety podcast, what is Intuitive Eating, body respect, HAES, health at every size, body positivity, BoPo, food recovery, Breaking Free Recovery, Breaking Free Podcast, Breaking Free: Your Recovery. Your Way., recovery patchwork, eating recovery, recovery boundaries, eating disorder recovery, disordered eating recovery, Tiffany Thoen, Liv Pennelle, Liv’s recovery kitchen, Olivia Pennelle, Liv and Tiffany

In this episode, we talk to Robert Ashford about his work as a recovery scientist, the varying definitions of recovery, his recovery community organization, and the impact of the way we share our stories. 

Robert’s biography:

Robert Ashford is a recovery scientist focused on substance use, recovery communities, recovery support services and institutions, integrated behavioral health systems, linguistic patterns, and technological interventions for behavioral health disorders. Mr. Ashford holds a Bachelor of Social Work with minors in Addiction Studies and Psychology from the University of North Texas, and a Master of Social Work from the University of Pennsylvania School of Social Policy and Practice (SP2). Currently, Robert is pursuing his PhD in Health Policy at the University of the Sciences in Philadelphia. Robert has also completed fellowships with the Treatment Research Institute and is currently a graduate research assistant at the Center on the Continuum of Care in Addictions at the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania and the Substance Use Disorders Institute at the University of the Sciences. Robert has been the recipient of many prestigious awards, most notably NADAAC’s Young Emerging Leader Award (2014), and the University of Pennsylvania Provost’s Citation for Excellence in Service (2017). He is also the founding editor for the Journal of Recovery Science, a national recovery planning partner for the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), a grant reviewer for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, and an appointee to the Philadelphia Mayor’s Task Force to Combat the Opioid Epidemic.

Resources:

The Journal of Recovery Science

Unity Recovery

Article: The Deserving and Undeserving Paradox

#Recovery #Allpaths, #allpathways, #recoverypathways, #BreakingFree, #12steprecovery, #AlcoholicsAnonymous, #alternativepathways, #alternativesToAA, #sober, #sobriety

In this episode, Liv and Tiffany explore the process of leaving 12-step recovery and how life evolved afterwards. So often we hear in the rooms that to leave means one thing: returning to use. But that simply hasn’t been the case for us. 

What was particularly intriguing to Liv was that when she finally did leave, she realized that she was relying heavily upon the fellowship, and she started to look at the conditioning that you cannot trust independent thought, such as the desire to try another pathway. She also found that meetings were a crutch in difficult times. Leaving enabled Liv and Tiffany to depend on themselves and to develop more effective individual coping strategies. For Liv, this meant learning about autonomy and recovering her agency. Today the decisions they make are ones that are right for them as individuals, rather than a prescribed response. 

For Tiffany, when she discovered intuitive eating, she realized she was already whole and complete. Regaining her agency allowed her to begin to trust herself, which was core to her healing her relationship with food. In turn, she also realized that some parts of 12-step messaging were not working for her. 

By speaking openly about this topic, Liv and Tiffany hope to validate others’ concerns, and to show that people do exist in recovery even if they have left the program that initially provided a framework for them to find recovery. 

Liv’s life after 12-Step Recovery group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/272533446852021/

How to have fun in recovery: 

https://www.thefix.com/you-got-sober-are-you-having-fun

We invite you to subscribe to our podcast, and tell us the ways in which you’re breaking free in our free Facebook community: Breaking Free Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/breakingfreecommunity. 

#Recovery #Allpaths, #allpathways, #recoverypathways, #BreakingFree, #12steprecovery, #AlcoholicsAnonymous, #alternativepathways, #alternativesToAA, #sober, #sobriety,  diets dont work, anti-diet, Intuitive Eating, Diet culture, why cant I stop eating, help with overeating, binge eating, binging, life after 12 step recovery, body attunement, Disordered eating, eating disorders, sugar addiction, Alcoholism, addiction, how to live sober, sobriety, how to stop drinking, recovery podcast, sobriety podcast, what is Intuitive Eating, body respect, HAES, health at every size, body positivity, BoPo, food recovery, Breaking Free Recovery, Breaking Free Podcast, Breaking Free: Your Recovery. Your Way., recovery patchwork, eating recovery, recovery boundaries, eating disorder recovery, disordered eating recovery, Tiffany Thoen, Liv Pennelle, Liv’s Recovery Kitchen, Olivia Pennelle, Liv and Tiffany

In this episode, Liv and Tiffany explore the role of AA in their lives and whether they believe it saved them. So often we hear people say the phrase “AA saved my life,” or “if it wasn’t for AA I wouldn’t be alive.”

Liv has spent a long time dissecting this statement. She’s even written about it (link here). It is her belief that to be empowered and autonomous in her recovery, she would have to be the one to save her life — AA gave her the tools and framework to do that initial work, but only she could do that. Simply attending AA didn’t save her. AA was a touchstone for her: it was a place to land and to find sober community, and a framework to look into her substance use disorder. It then became an invitation to look deeper, and that work took Liv outside of AA. 

For Liv, the challenge we encounter when we praise a fellowship and program for saving our lives is that we create an unhealthy dependence upon it. And ultimately, we can end up believing that our recovery is incumbent upon continued attendance at meetings, involvement in fellowship, and continued step work. That hasn’t been the case for Liv or Tiffany. 

Tiffany believes that initially AA did save her life — she didn’t believe that she was capable of doing so herself. She also didn’t realize the scope of her substance use disorder. Later it became more of a habit to make the statement that AA saved her life, although she’s not sure what would’ve happened had she not gone to her first meeting. She now believes that the choices she makes on a daily basis lead her to where she is today.

We invite you to subscribe to our podcast, and tell us the ways in which you’re breaking free in our free Facebook community: Breaking Free Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/breakingfreecommunity. 

#Recovery #Allpaths, #allpathways, #recoverypathways, #BreakingFree, #12steprecovery, #AlcoholicsAnonymous, #alternativepathways, #alternativesToAA, #sober, #sobriety,  diets dont work, anti-diet, Intuitive Eating, Diet culture, why cant I stop eating, help with overeating, binge eating, binging, life after 12 step recovery, body attunement, Disordered eating, eating disorders, sugar addiction, Alcoholism, addiction, how to live sober, sobriety, how to stop drinking, recovery podcast, sobriety podcast, what is Intuitive Eating, body respect, HAES, health at every size, body positivity, BoPo, food recovery, Breaking Free Recovery, Breaking Free Podcast, Breaking Free: Your Recovery. Your Way., recovery patchwork, eating recovery, recovery boundaries, eating disorder recovery, disordered eating recovery, Tiffany Thoen, Liv Pennelle, Liv’s recovery kitchen, Olivia Pennelle, Liv and Tiffany

In this episode we talk about something that we all experience in early recovery: How to have sober sex. We talk to expert Jennifer Matesa on how our sex drive changes in recovery, the problems and anxieties we experience, orgasms, self-pleasure, and feeling at home in our bodies. 

“Recovery is attuning to your own wellness.” 

Jennifer Matesa, LSW is author of four nonfiction books about body, mind, and human well-being, the most recent of which is Sex in Recovery: A Meeting between the Covers (Hazelden, 2016). She is a licensed social worker and psychotherapist and has spoken and written widely about health and well-being. Her blog about addiction and recovery, Guinevere Gets Sober (http://guineveregetssober.com), was one of the first websites to address addiction as a public-health issue, and it has always been dedicated to giving the public reliable information and commentary about substance use disorders without advertising or fees. Her early commitment to removing the stigma from addiction and recovery earned her a fellowship at the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA).

You can find all of these books on Amazon, via this link.

"Sex in Recovery is a work long overdue. In a frank, personal, and highly personable way, Jennifer Matesa opens a topic usually only whispered about: the essential role of sexual healing in sobriety. Many readers will be grateful to her."

—Gabor Maté, MD, author of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction

We invite you to subscribe to our podcast, and to tell us the ways in which you’re breaking free in our free Facebook community: Breaking Free Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/breakingfreecommunity

#Recovery #Allpaths, #allpathways, #recoverypathways, #BreakingFree, #12steprecovery, #AlcoholicsAnonymous, #alternativepathways, #alternativesToAA, #sober, #sobriety,  diets dont work, anti-diet, Intuitive Eating, Diet culture, why cant I stop eating, help with overeating, binge eating, binging, life after 12 step recovery, body attunement, Disordered eating, eating disorders, sugar addiction, Alcoholism, addiction, how to live sober, sobriety, how to stop drinking, recovery podcast, sobriety podcast, what is Intuitive Eating, body respect, HAES, health at every size, body positivity, BoPo, food recovery, Breaking Free Recovery, Breaking Free Podcast, Breaking Free: Your Recovery. Your Way., recovery patchwork, eating recovery, recovery boundaries, eating disorder recovery, disordered eating recovery, Tiffany Thoen, Liv Pennelle, Liv’s recovery kitchen, Olivia Pennelle, Liv and Tiffany

Episode 008 Show Notes: In this episode, Tiffany shares more about her journey. Her struggle with food, dieting, body image, and substance use set the stage for coming to recovery at a young age. She then became a single teen mom, newly sober, trying to find a way to survive. After putting herself through nursing school and finding stability, she started seeking more for her health and recovery. Her discovery of intuitive eating was life-changing. She now helps others to heal their relationship with food. Be sure to listen in to hear her wish for you! 

These are our bellworthy and noteworthy acknowledgements:

Tiffany’s Womanifesto: https://www.coachtiffanyrn.com/womanifesto.html

Marianne Williamson’s quote:

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/928-our-deepest-fear-is-not-that-we-are-inadequate-our

Sarah Blondin’s meditation at SHE RECOVERS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iC5VlKpaD9Y

https://sherecovers.co/

SHE RECOVERS:

https://sherecovers.co/

Be Nourished, Portland:

https://benourished.org/

Thai Fresh, Portland:

https://thaifreshpdx.com/

Learn more about Tiffany’s work: https://www.coachtiffanyrn.com/

https://www.facebook.com/CoachTiffanyRN/

https://www.instagram.com/coachtiffanyrn/

We invite you to subscribe to our podcast, and to tell us the ways in which you’re breaking free in our free Facebook community: Breaking Free Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/breakingfreecommunity

In this episode Liv shares her story, the trauma she suffered, and how she found recovery. She also talks about her decision to move to the US and how her recovery really flourished once she did. Liv has dedicated much of her time in recovery to sharing her journey, through her writing as a journalist and on her popular site Liv’s Recovery Kitchen, so that others have the resources to thrive in their recovery. You can find her articles across the web on podcasts and addiction recovery websites including The Fix, Ravishly, Recovery Campus, The Phoenix Spirit, and STAT News.

We invite you to subscribe to our podcast, and tell us the ways in which you’re breaking free in our free Facebook community: Breaking Free Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/breakingfreecommunity. 

#Recovery #Allpaths, #allpathways, #recoverypathways, #BreakingFree, #12steprecovery, #AlcoholicsAnonymous, #alternativepathways, #alternativesToAA, #sober, #sobriety

This episode unearths all of the questions, concerns, and fears around 12-step recovery, and the ultimate question: Is 12-step recovery right for me? For Liv and Tiffany, they both had niggling feelings about certain aspects of the program, like thinking about their character as defective, not being able to trust independent thought, and resigning themselves to live in a church basement several evenings a week for the rest of their lives. 

Many of us have these concerns, and we want to shine a light on them. 

We have found that since writing and talking about these concerns, many people have come forward saying they too felt the same way but were too frightened to say something — they thought it was their “addiction speaking.” Frankly, we find this kind of language and conditioning unhelpful. For us, recovery is about recovering the ability to make decisions that honor us rather than harm us; it’s about fulfilling our potential and regaining trust in ourselves. We found it disempowering to subscribe to the belief that we needed to always question our thoughts, that we must rely on others to make decisions, and that we could not trust ourselves. The decision to leave empowered us to create our own path of recovery.

We invite you to tell us the ways in which you’re breaking free in our free Facebook community: Breaking Free Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/breakingfreecommunity

#Recovery #Allpaths, #allpathways, #recoverypathways, #BreakingFree, #12steprecovery, #AlcoholicsAnonymous, #alternativepathways, #alternativesToAA, #sober, #sobriety

This episode explores the helpful aspects of 12-step recovery, such as:

Community

Peers in recovery

Rituals

The 12 steps

Spirituality

Sponsorship/mentorship

So often, people consider this topic in a binary way: it’s either the right pathway or it’s wrong. As people who both began their recovery in 12-step fellowships and later left, Liv and Tiffany don’t consider 12-step recovery to be a poor choice — it was helpful. Given that they also discuss elements that didn’t work for them, and beliefs they grew out of in this season, it’s helpful to look at the topic holistically, starting with the aspects that were helpful to their early recovery.

We found that it provided a much-needed perspective in early recovery: it was a doorway to look deeper and see the ways in which drugs and alcohol impacted our lives and the lives of those we loved. This was foundational for further personal growth we pursued later in our recovery. 

We invite you to tell us the ways in which you’re breaking free in our free Facebook community: Breaking Free Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/breakingfreecommunity

In this episode, Liv and Tiffany explore the real landscape of recovery. So often we read on social media that there is only one pathway that works, and that if you don’t follow this traditional path you’ll return to use. This episode highlights a study of how people recover through a variety of means.

Liv has covered these pathways in depth in the article What Options are Available if AA isn’t the Right Fit for Me?

https://www.mhaoforegon.org/blog/2019/1/18/what-options-are-available-if-aa-isnt-the-right-fit-for-me

This is a helpful info-graphic -- Click here 

This is a link to the study highlighting the landscape of recovery: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29055821

We invite you to tell us the ways in which you’re breaking free in our free Facebook community: Breaking Free Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/breakingfreecommunity