You know what's impressive about me? I've only eaten one cookie a day since this all started. OK, maybe there was a day when I had two. But that's it. Seriously, aren't you impressed by me? I'm impressed by me. It's not easy to exhibit self-control while the world is on fire. I'm not saying my eating has been perfect. I'm definitely eating a decent amount. The other day I lost two pounds. But don't worry, I found them. Thank you! I'll be here all week! Literally! Today we talk NFL free agency with Reuben Wolf and Dan Zisson.

Today I leaned that too much beard is too much. I had to shave. It was getting to me. By which I mean my mustache hairs were getting into my mouth. I could've just trimmed but (a) I don't have a trimmer and (b) traditionally I go all or nothing. So now I will start again. That's kind of how hair growth works, except for on the top of my head. I still have a little on the sides though. This is what I think about when I'm stuck at home. Today's guest is the very funny Danny Suggs.

We generally don't get political on this show but we did the other day. Thing is, how do you NOT get political in these days? We're told not to politicize the virus. The virus has no party. The virus ain't no disco. The virus definitely ain't foolin' around. So far we've had great comedians and we will probably expand to have other folks on because why not? It's about good talk and that's what we need right now. Today's guest is comedian Lucas Connolly.

Feelings, nothing more than feelings, trying to forget my feelings of love... feelings of what it was like to go outside... Rememberig the sun... oh the beautiful sun... or the rain... I don't realy care at this point I just want to go outside.......

Today's guest is the very funny Ben Kirschenbaum.

We're still inside. At least we're supposed to be. Some people are not inside and that's not what we're supposed to be doing. I was always a guy who didn't follow instructions and now I'm the guy who listens to authority. But Brett. Weren't you SO punk rock? I was. I still am! I wash my hands while singing Nazi Punks F*ck Off. The first two bars are 20 seconds in case you're curious. But I want to do what's right and as far as I can tell what's right is staying inside. Whether you agree or not, tune in! Today's guest is the very talented Olga Namer.

I'm setting these up in advance so maybe by the time you read this they will have found a cure for COVID-19! No they won't. This is wishful thinking, Brett. You need to stop doing that. You have to practice radical acceptance and deal with things as they are. AS. THEY. ARE. Oy. This sucks but it got me to do a daily radio show and that's something I've always wanted so what the hell? Why not enjoy it for what it is? This show is the highlight of my day, other than dinner with my beautiful family (see what I did there)? Today's guest is my friend and comic colleague Craig Lottner.

OH MY GOD how many days has it been? Has it been 5? Has it been 10? Did we ever go outside? Have I ever done a comedy show? It seems like it was so long ago, and yet... it really wasn't. I'm not losing my mind yet but it could happen! It could happen ON THE AIR! You don't know! So you'd better listen in. Today's guest is the very funny Leonarda Jonie.

We're still here and by "here" we mean our apartment. That's where we all are unless we're essential and Mike Lee is that. Why? Because in addition to being a comedian, Mike is a nurse. Tune in to hear what's really going on at the hospital. Mike is very funny but COVID-19 is very serious so let's hear what he says to say. Tune in!

ZOMG we're still inside? What the hell is going on? I can't watch the news, I must watch the news. I watch a lot of news. I'm on Facebook constantly. Connection! It's all about maintaining connections in these difficult times. Today we talk to comedian Josh Postel. Tune in!

OMG this is so weird. Seriously, what are we even doing at this point? I'm writing this on Tuesday and for all I know we've been even more shut in by now. Let's stay connected by talking to each other because that's what we have to do! Connect! Today's guest is the very funny Lindsey Barnes. I'll ask her questions and she'll answer them. You can even call in and talk to us. Take that, coronavirus!