Brilliantly Resilient

Quit trying to do it on your own; surround yourself with growth minded people who will have the tough conversations with you when needed. ~ Robert Raymond Riopel 

Who loves ya, baby? No really, who loves you? Or better yet, who understands you--the way you think, your dreams, your goals? 

When we look for people to join our “tribe,” it’s human nature to seek out those who love, or at least like us. People who make us feel good, who validate us. But those may be exactly the wrong people to surround yourself with, especially if you’re trying to accomplish a big goal.

This week’s guest, Robert Raymond Riopel, reminds us that it’s precisely those people who will make us uncomfortable by asking the tough questions who will be the best members to add to our tribe. While it’s easy to surround ourselves with people who will stroke our egos and make us feel good, it’s far more important, if we want to accomplish anything of true value, to have folks next to us who will hold our feet to the fire and ask the demanding, uncomfortable questions--the ones that will force us to see reality and not live in the land of magical thinking. (We’re aren’t talking Negative Nancys here--just folks who see the truth.)

Progress is made only when we’re willing to see and address our shortcomings--either out and out failures or just dropping the ball before we should have. The people who make us see that are true allies--willing to hurt our feelings to help us achieve.

Don’t be afraid to align yourself with people who are “tough” on you, as long as you know they have your best interests at heart. You’ll thank them when you cross the finish line!

Hear more of Robert’s wisdom on his episode of Brilliantly Resilient LIVE!

XO

KS & MFB

Resilience is the audacity to never give up. ~ Beate Chelette

We’ve heard a lot of definitions for the word “Resilience” in the past year, but this is one of our favorites. 

We call upon our Resilience when we’ve been knocked down, and often it feels like we’re dragging ourselves back to a standing position, even after the Resilience kicks in. But combining the idea of Resilience with audacity imbues Resilience with power. Kick-ass power at that.  

One definition of audacity is “the bold or arrogant disregard of normal restraints.” We love that! Challenge requires boldness, and it’s the perfect time to break free of normal conventions and behaviors. It’s the perfect counterpart to Resilience.

Being Resilient with audacity sends a clear “Aw, hell no!” message to our challenges and struggles. Does that minimize them? Not at all. Every challenge must be acknowledged and respected for what it is. But we should never, ever take our challenges lying down.

Our friend, Beate Chelette, a first-generation American immigrant, refused to allow her challenges to take her down, even audaciously writing to the President of the United States to request help for her small business. And guess what? She got it.

Hear more of Beate’s inspiring, bold story on her episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, and find her at https://beatechelette.com/.

XO,

KS & MFB

Brilliant can be basic and simple. ~ Lynne Kelleher

How would it feel to know that you’re doing something amazing, something Brilliant in fact, and it’s so easy and simple that you almost can’t believe it?

For some reason, we think Brilliance is hard. As a culture, we tend to devalue things that don’t require major amounts of blood, sweat and tears. But the truth is, Brilliance, your Brilliance, is easy. It’s cued into the basic parts of who you are. It reflects you and your talents, aligned with your values, and when you tap into that magic combo, Brilliance just happens. 

Our friend Lynne Kelleher, founder of 100 Women Who Care in Bucks County, discovered just how basic Brilliance can be when she created a group of women who impact their community with tens of thousands of dollars in a single hour. That’s ONE HOUR—no big events, no planning, no stress. Completely, utterly simple, doable, and Brilliant. 

Brilliance can be basic, and when it is, it’s often powerful. Learn how to tap into your basic Brilliance in this week’s episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, and check out 100 Women Who Care with our buddy Lynne Kelleher!

You are often asked to be at your functioning best when you feel your worst. If you’re driven to do something even when you’re at your lowest, you know that’s a core value for you.

~ Mary Fran Bontempo & Kristin Smedley

     What are your non-negotiables? Those things you aren’t willing to compromise on no matter what. It’s one of life’s ironies that we are called to be our strongest when we are at our lowest point. Yet, that’s exactly when we get to find out who we truly are, by deciding what’s essential to us--what we won’t give up on.

When we talk about the Reset in the process of living a Brilliantly Resilient life, values is our first pillar in the process. It’s an essential part of building the foundation upon which you will share your Brilliance with the world.

     Values speak to who you really are. And when you’re clear on your core values, decisions are easier, life becomes clearer, and you feel confident moving forward toward building the life you want.

     On this week’s episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, tune in to hear us (yep, just us!) talk about the value of values. Let’s start the Reset together!

XO

KS & MFB

If you want to get to where you want to go faster, you have to focus on less.

~ David Wood, Focus CEO

     How often do you feel like you aren’t doing enough? If you’re like us, even if you’re putting in twelve-hour days, you still think, Darn it, I didn’t do, finish, start…XYZ. I’ve just got to do more! Sigh. How utterly exhausting. How frustrating. How impossible.

     We all have big dreams. And the way most of us think we’ll accomplish them is to multi-task and try to accomplish as much as possible in a day, week, or month. Life offers so many options, we should take advantage of as many as possible and try as many things as we can until something works, right?

     Wrong. As our guest, Focus CEO coach David Wood reminds, us, it’s only by focusing on less that we go farther and faster. WHATTTTTT????!!!! We can do less? Well, yes. And no. To get to where we want to be, we still have to make the effort, but we shouldn’t divide our effort among a zillion options. (Yes, we said “zillion.” That’s what it feels like sometimes.)

     To be truly successful, focus—on your Brilliance. Do what moves you, what you’re good at, and what speaks to you over and over again. Make time for just that, and refuse to let the minutiae of life (i.e. emails, Facebook, Instagram, spider solitaire—okay, that’s just MF, but you get the idea) sidetrack you. As reminds us, figure out what would make you do your happy dance and focus on that! Hear more of David’s wisdom on his episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast!

XO,

KS & MFB

You have to take the pause and reckon with the carnage. ~ Kimberly Smith

How would you feel if you checked off all of your “I want” boxes? You get the house, partner, job, family—everything you think you want. Feels pretty great, doesn’t it? Until it doesn’t. Instead of feeling happy, you’re unfulfilled, sad and worse, guilty for not appreciating your life.

As we grow, we create a plan—more like a wish list of things that we believe will make us happy. We think that once we get the “fill in the blank,” life will be good. Truth is, sometimes maintaining that perfect life is exhausting, and it can create the cracks in your plan that prove it isn’t the right plan—FOR YOU.  

That’s what Kimberly Smith discovered when she seemingly had it all but found herself depressed and desperate. She tried to “talk herself out of it,” only driving herself deeper into the pit. Ultimately, Kimberly realized she had to STOP. Stop trying to talk herself into a life that, while seemingly perfect, wasn’t working for her. She needed to hit pause and see, really see, what she had, what she wanted, and what she needed to do to get there.

Taking personal inventory of what we want is essential to living a Brilliantly Resilient life, but that list needs to reflect YOU, not everyone else. So, take time to reflect, even if it’s kind of a mess, and see what you need to change. It’s the first step towards becoming Brilliantly Resilient.  Tune in to hear more from Kimberly on the Brilliantly Resilient podcast!

XO,

KS & MFB

You are trustworthy. Yep, you. But do you believe it? So often, we look to others who we think are smarter, more experienced, or wiser, to influence us when making big decisions, because we want to KNOW. We want to know in which direction we should go, we want to know the answer, and we don’t quite believe we’re up to the task. But more often than not, you do know the answer. It may not be a great answer, it may not be perfect, but you know, even if you don’t want to admit it. And the best way to test your decision? Your gut. When it’s wrong, your gut will tell you, loud and clear. When it’s right, you’ll know that, too. Your gut reflects who you truly are. Its reactions are a physical manifestation of what you truly think and believe—your values, your truth, not that of others. Trust your gut. The one who knows you best is you. Trust yourself! Tune in to hear more of Leslie’s wisdom here!

XO

KS & MFB

How would you feel if everyone understood and accepted you all of the time? No judgement, just you being allowed to be you. If you’re like us, the thought alone makes you breathe a deep sigh of relief. Yet it’s a rare human who always feels accepted and understood—especially when their reality isn’t “normal”—whatever that means. Today’s guest, award-winning journalist and documentarian, Allison Norlian, knows what it feels like to be misunderstood and isolated, an experience she first had as a young child playing with a school friend. But Allison began to find her voice at that moment, learning to educate others to her truth. Listen and learn how Allison turned her everyday experiences into her Brilliance and her life’s work—and how you can too!  Stay Brilliant!

XO,

KS & MFB

Do others have low expectations of you? Worse, do you have low expectations of yourself? 

This week's guest is Philly native and cheesesteak god, Derrick Hayes! Derrick grew up in West Philly, a tough part of the city, and knew that the world expected little of him. But Derrick was determined to fulfill his dreams and rise above others' expectations, and oh my, has he! 

Tune in and hear how Derrick combines determination, faith and trust and to take action and Rise with Resilience, building his highly successful, award winning business while serving his community through Big Dave's Cheesesteaks, named in honor of his father. Big Dave's Cheesesteaks, located in Georgia, often sports lines wrapped around the downtown venue with customers yearning for a taste of Philly. During COVID, the restaurant gave out free meals to health care heroes and went as far as distributing face masks and other medical supplies to neighboring hospitals in the area.

You can rise above low expectations and live a Brilliantly Resilient life, too! Listen and hear how Derrick uncovers his life's purpose to make a brilliant impact on the world.

XO,

KS & MFB

We are excited to introduce you to a brilliant new friend of ours, Samuel Moore-Sobel. Samuel is the author of the incredible book, Can You See My Scars?- a story of trauma, adversity, healing, and recovery. Samuel, a young man about to begin his sophomore year of high school, accepts a job that culminates in a chemical explosion, leaving Samuel with severe burns on his face, neck, and arms. The tragic and sudden accident sets Samuel on an unpredictable journey of healing, recovery, and acceptance. Listen in and be inspired by this Brilliantly Resilient young man!

XO,

KS & MFB