Brilliantly Resilient

~ Mary Fran Bontempo, Author 'From Broken to Brilliant: How to Live a Brilliantly Resilient Life' 

It's 2025. How are you feeling about that?

I find the time right after Christmas to be a bit challenging. After a month of being jolly buying, planning, decorating, eating, drinking, visiting with family and friends, suddenly it's over. And sure, New Year's Eve is fun, but it's also accompanied by that feeling of 'Oh my God, now I have to improve myself again.'

Enter the dreaded New Year's Resolution.

I've never been a fan of New Year's Resolutions (caps to emphasize the IMPORTANCE of them!). Usually, we end up expecting gargantuan feats of ourselves that we would never ask of anyone else--often dooming us to failure. Given that I'm at an age where I'm tempted to dismiss the whole thing, I'd like to, but I can't. I'm committed to living a Brilliantly Resilient life. Quitting entirely is not in the game plan.

However, I do believe we must be more gentle with ourselves, in all of our human frailty. To that end, I've settled on two words for my 2025 resolution: Be Better.

By simply resolving to be better, I'm afforded endless opportunities each day to improve in small ways, which bundled together, can create profound change. Each time I attempt to be better, I am living the Brilliantly Resilient concept of taking small, imperfect actions to move forward. So much easier and more life-affirming than trying to remake myself, which, let's be honest, isn't going to happen. (I will, however, try to be better when driving behind some soul who seems to have forgotten where the gas pedal is. Patience is not my strong suit.)

As we enter 2025, be kinder to yourself, and resolve to Be Better. It's doable, and will create wins in every day. And do more that makes you happy. We all deserve that.

Finally, thank you with sincere gratitude for your support of me and Brilliantly Resilient. It means more than I can say to share this powerful message for good and I am beyond appreciative.

Tune in to hear more brilliance (yes, mine--remember to pat yourself on the back regularly, too!) on this week's podcast and check out the new book for a great start to 2025.

• For me the time right after Christmas is a little bit hard. We've been so jolly and spirited for a month with buying and planning and family and friends and cooking and the lights and everything else, and then all of a sudden it's over. And sure, New Year's Eve is fun. But it's also accompanied by that feeling of 'Oh my God, now I have to improve myself again.'

As we enter 2025, I thank you again and wish you every joy and blessing. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together!

XO,

Mary Fran

Mary Fran Bontempo is an award-winning 2-time TEDx and Keynote speaker, workshop presenter, author, humorist and podcast host who teaches audiences to uncover their Brilliance and Resilience 15 minutes at a time. A sought-after speaker for ERGs, BRGs, DEI, conference and association events, Mary Fran is author of From Broken to Brilliant: How to Live a Brilliantly Resilient Life, The 15 Minute Master, The Woman's Book of Dirty Words and co-founder of the life-changing program Brilliantly Resilient. To bring Mary Fran to your company or organization, visit www.brilliantlyresilient.net.

Shawnta Hooks ~ Leading Belonging and Mindfulness Speaker.

Shawnta Hooks was never a believer in meditation or mindfulness. Working in accounting and corporate compliance during her 20 year corporate career, Shawnta found herself in a toxic work environment after a company reorganization, feeling completely disconnected, unseen and unheard. Her first instinct was to lay blame on the company, until she realized it wasn't entirely her work environment that was causing her challenges.

Having just lost her father and become a new mom, Shawnta realized that she was not only disconnected from her work, she was disconnected from herself. Aware of a "crushing pressure to contatntly perform," both professionally an personally, Shawnta realized she had some work to do, and set out to learn how to reconnect to her world. Her search led her to meditation and mindfulness, and "honoring the pause"--that moment of neutrality between our thoughts and actions, when we can more accurately assess our feelings and behaviors.

Now a leading authority in building connection and mindfulness in corporate America, Shawnta notes that while words like mindfulness and authenticity may not seem to fit into business, many organizations are embracing the opportunity to help their employees find connection through mindfulness, or as Shawnta notes, "Paying attention to the present moment, on purpose, without judgement."

Being Brilliantly Resilient requires checking our perceptions and telling ourselves the truth, which fits well with Shawnta's advice. During this hectic time of year, consider beginning a meditation practice, even of only a few minutes a day. Seek mindfulness and neutrality, avoiding judgements (especially as emotions run high around the holidays.)

Check out this week's podcast to hear more of Shawnta's Brilliance. Visit her website at https://www.shawntahooks.com/ and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance:

• There is a huge impact that moments of calm can have on your productivity, on your focus, on your ability to operate at peak performance.

Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together!

XO,

Mary Fran

You have everything in you already to live a Brilliantly Resilient life. You have Resilience and you have your own personal Brilliance. It's already there. You were born with both of those things.

~ Mary Fran Bontempo, Author,

From Broken to Brilliant: How to Live a Brilliantly Resilient Life

Have you uncovered your Resilience yet? Since Covid, we've been reminded constantly about the need for resilience, as though every day, we must gird for battle before we wander into the unknown terrors of the world. Truthfully, that scenario doesn't seem that far-fetched anymore.

If you've followed Brilliantly Resilient for any amount of time, you know I believe that life can hit hard, and unexpectedly. Almost everyone can offer a story to back that up. The good news is that we already have everything we need within us to not only navigate life's challenges with Resilience, but we can discover our Brilliance within those challenges as well.

My new book, From Broken to Brilliant: How to Live a Brilliantly Resilient Life, provides a roadmap to learn how to Reset with Resilience, Rise through challenges, and Reveal your Brilliance—a Brilliance that shows itself when it feels like things can't get much worse.

As I come up on the five-year anniversary of the founding of Brilliantly Resilient, I'm more convinced than ever that the simple steps in the Reset, Rise and Reveal process can guide anyone through rough times, and provide the light we need to move forward.

The book contains not only my thoughts, but the generously shared wit and wisdom provided by over 30 Brilliantly Resilient podcast guests, who, in their own words, affirm that a Brilliantly Resilient life can be ours if we live with intention.

In addition to much shared wisdom, the book offers some thought-provoking questions at the end of each chapter—for you to navigate YOUR challenges. Because yes, this is all about YOU.

From Broken to Brilliant is now available on Amazon, and makes a perfect holiday gift. Check out this podcast for more info, or head over to www.brilliantlyresilient.net or www.maryfranbontempo.com. And be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance (if I do say so myself!!!)

• This book is the road map. It gives you steps that are so simple and easy and what you're going to realize is that you're already doing this stuff. You're already doing it, you just have to be intentional about it. Recognize that you're doing it (being Brilliantly Resilient) and build that foundation from that.

Buy the book and do let me know what you think. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together!

Best,

Mary Fran

Dr. Megan Gerhardt

Author of Gentelligence: The Revolutionary Approach to Leading an Intergenerational Workforce

Do you work with people of different generations? Do you live with people of different generations? Do you have public contact with people of different generations? 

Unless you live alone on an island, the answer to at least one, if not all, of these questions is yes. And in your interactions with those of different generations, it's almost certain that you've experienced some form generational conflict.

Dr. Megan Gerhardt is a Professor of Management and Leadership at the Farmer School of Business at Miami University, and the author of Gentelligence: The Revolutionary Approach to Leading an Intergenerational Workforce. As an expert in generational differences, Dr. Gerhardt teaches individuals and corporations simple, effective strategies for not only bridging the generation gap, but encouraging all generations to bring their particular resilience and brilliance to create connection and build respect. 

According to Dr. Gerhardt, the best way to build connections is by asking respectful questions. The best question to ask? "Can you help me understand?" By phrasing the question in a non-judgmental way, Dr. Gerhardt says, "I'm signaling that what you're doing is not making sense to me, but I'm acknowledging it might in part be my understanding of what's going on. And I would love to get to a different place."

Given that every generation brings their own skills, knowledge and perspective to the table, respect and inclusivity can result in more understanding and better solutions to problems, especially when everyone brings their own experiences, resilience and brilliance along.

For more on Gentelligence, tune into this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, order the book, and look for these additional bits of Brilliance:

• I am a organizational psychologist really by training. So my nature is to always be curious about people, why they do what they do, how do we help them leverage what's unique about them in order to help them do work they care about and add value.

Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together!

XO,

Mary Fran

Annie Orenstein ~ Author of  Always a Sibling: The Forgotten Mourner's Guide to Grief 

Do you have a sibling? Most of us do. And according to author, Annie Orenstein, as children, we often spend more time with our siblings than with our parents. Yet as we grow, our sibling relationships are pushed to the background as we form other adult relationships in our lives.

So what do you do when a sibling dies?

In her new book, Always a Sibling: The Forgotten Mourner's Guide to Grief Annie recognizes the painful, difficult role of a remaining sibling when losing a brother or sister. Our siblings are the only true witnesses to so much of our childhoods and who, "understand the workings of our families." If the sibling dies before parents, grieving is even more fraught as the remaining sibling feels the need to lessen the parents' burden.

Further, the death of a sibling is often met with the question, "Were you close?" as though the answer allows the degree of acceptable mourning. Annie notes that the simplest gift we can give someone who has lost a sibling is to ask, "What was their name?" to allow the sharing of memories.

Annie recognized the need to address such questions when finding little to guide her through the loss of her own brother. As she explores the stages of grief, she breaks down experiences in sections noting life with, without, and finally within, as she met both her grief and her joy in life with her sibling in this poignant and funny (yes, funny!) read.

Such fundamental change is a part of life, but knowing that doesn't make it easier. Part of living a Brilliantly Resilient life is facing such challenges and finding the way through that's best for you, regardless of "what's expected." 

For more of Annie's wisdom, tune into this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance:

• Siblings should be naturally our longest shared relationship because we meet them before we meet our partners and if things go naturally, our relationship continues after the loss of our parents. Statistics show that in childhood, siblings spend more time together than with their parents. 

 Be sure to buy Annie's wonderful book, and let's be Brilliantly Resilient together!

XO,

Mary Fran

Brian Nolan

President and Co-founder, Nolan Stuttering Foundation

Have you ever heard someone stutter? If you don't stutter, it can be uncomfortable to know how to react. Do you try and finish the person's sentence? Do you look away? Do you simply wait? 

While a non-stutterer may be at a loss, according to Brian Nolan, a life-long stutterer and President of the Nolan Stuttering Foundation, a non-stutterer's discomfort pales in comparison to the shame, embarrassment and pain of someone who stutters.

As humans, speech is our major means of communication, one we generally take for granted. But as a stutterer, Brian notes, "Especially as a kid, every day you wake up, you think through the lens of someone who stutters and you think about the people you're going to have to see, how you're going to have to talk in class. Am I going to have to read? And you're like, I just have to get by the day, every day." For those who stutter, the stress of having to plan every moment of a day's communication seems simply unbearable.

Stuttering isolates individuals, from childhood throughout every experience in life. Having gone through every challenge personally, Brian and his co-founder, Joseph Donaher, created the Nolan Stuttering Foundation (NSF) to help teens and young adults who stutter prepare for major transitions in their lives while persevering through challenges to become the best version of themselves.

Those who don't stutter can help, too. When encountering someone who stutters, Brian advises we "look, listen, and give the gift of 100% attention." As Brian says, "We who stutter, we have grit. We who stutter, we have empathy. We who stutter, listen carefully. And we stay in a conversation." The rest of us can respond in kind.

Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we know that we can find our Brilliance in our challenges, but it's rarely easy. When we respond to others with patience, empathy and understanding, we can not only help others find their Brilliance, but uncover some gifts of our own.

Tune  in to this week's podcast to hear more of Brian's wisdom and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance:

• Stuttering is a neurological disorder and the part that's miss understood is people think you stutter because you're nervous. Two-thirds of the people who have it, it goes away by the time they are 7 or 8. The 1/3 of the people who get it and it doesn't go away by 7-8, it's not curable. Ever. 

Be sure to check out the Nolan Stuttering Foundation. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together!

XO,

Mary Fran

~ Rachel Madorsky

How to Love Yourself in Less Than a Week and Also for the Rest of Your LIfe

Do you love yourself? Does even reading the question make you uncomfortable? And if it does, why?

If you squirmed a little reading the above, you're not alone. Most of us will gladly think about those we love and share that with others. But ask us about self-love? Yikes.

Rachel Madorsky is a psychotherapist, executive coach, speaker and best-selling author of the book How To Love Yourself: In Less Than a Week And Also for the Rest of Your Life. (A short, delightful read that was featured in Ellen DeGeneres' first ever 12 Days at Home Holiday Box in November, 2023!)

After battling with depression, Rachel experienced a turning point when a fellow student in a personal growth course turned to her and said, "All of this would get better if you would love yourself." As Rachel notes, "In that moment I felt like someone just gave me the cure, and at the same time I wanted to say what does that mean? It's an easy thing to say but no one tells us what it means or how to do it."

On this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, Rachel dispels many misconceptions about self-love, most notably that far from being selfish or self-indulgent, self-love frees us from negative focus on ourselves and gives us more time and ease to love and be generous with others. She also makes a topic which many find uncomfortable, unthreatening and accessible.

Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we don't shy away from tough topics, and self-love fits the bill. Rachel advises regularly asking "What is the most loving thing I can do for myself right now?" Fortunately, the answer needn't involve huge steps. Even the smallest step towards self-love and self-care can change the trajectory of a life. As Rachel notes, "Small hinges swing big doors."

Tune in to this week's podcast to hear more of Rachel's wisdom and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance:

• When we ask a question of ourselves and we listen to the answer and we say yes and do the thing, we are building self-trust at a whole new level…. No one can actually give us the things we need most better than ourselves.

Be sure to find Rachel on her website and social media:

[email protected]

https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachel-madorsky-lcsw-3233374/

https://www.instagram.com/rachelmadorsky/

https://www.facebook.com/RachelMadorskyAuthorSpeakerCoach/

The Book:  How to Love Yourself in Less Than a Week and Also for the Rest of Your LIfe

Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together!

XO,

Mary Fran

 ~Julia DeNey, Founder "Sense-ational You" Clothing

Have you ever had a tag rub against your neck in your clothing? The sensation is irritating, to say the least. But to a neurodivergent child with a sensory disorder, the feeling can be like a knife cutting the skin, sending the child into sensory overload and causing major challenges to just making it through the day.

 Julia DeNey graduated from Cornell University with a B.S. in Fashion Design in 2020. During her college years, Julia also established and ran a volunteer organization in partnership with an area preschool for autistic children. After hearing the concerns of both teachers and parents, Julia began to think about using her fashion degree to design clothes to empower special needs children and help them navigate their world. 

As Julia explains it, neurodivergent kids experience the world differently. That can mean anything from autism, to ADHA, to sensory processing orders and beyond. Sometimes, sensory overload means exactly that—a child cannot process one additional sensation and loses control. Julia wanted to create clothing with tools built into it to help kids manage their reactions and emotions, allowing them to feel in control in a world that can easily overwhelm them. 

She says, "I wanted this fashion to be used to not only make the clothes more stylish, but more useful for their needs.We have a hoodie with built in sound reduction and an eye mask for a sensory avoider and an adjustable sensory compression vest for sensory seekers. The kids can have their own little sensory break just with what they're wearing."

Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we know that when we combine our inherent talents with learned skills and then stir in some passion, Brilliance is born, and Sense-ational You is a perfect example. Tune in to this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast to hear more of Julia's strategies to build resilience in neurodivergent kids and listen for these additional Bits of Brilliance:

• Adaptive clothing is clothing that's specifically designed for people who have different disabilities and needs so that clothing is more accessible to them. They can put the clothing on themselves and it's more comfortable.

Follow Julia via the links below, and Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together!

Website Link: https://shopsenseationalyou.com/

Instagram Link: https://www.instagram.com/senseational_you/

Facebook Link: https://www.facebook.com/shopsenseationalyou

XO,

Mary Fran

Sarah Gormley

Author of The Order of Things

Have you ever done something not because you wanted to, but because you thought you were "supposed" to? 

From the time we're young, we learn what we're "supposed" to do. Behave, answer the test questions correctly, make the right choices. But what if the "right" choices are wrong for us? What if we do what we're "supposed" to do but don't get the result we've been promised?

By all outward standards, Sarah Gormley did what she was supposed to do. She had a great career in corporate America, lived in New York and was highly successful. But she didn't feel successful, or happy. It wasn't until Sarah's mother received a devastating health diagnosis that Sarah began to reevaluate her life and her choices.

In her poignant, humor-filled new book, The Order of Things, Sarah tells how a return to her childhood home on a farm in Ohio made her reevaluate her choices as a "gold star chaser." A believer in both therapy and self-reflection, Sarah describes The Order of Things as a "self-hope" book, offering a true story that reminds the reader it's never too late to live the life you are meant to live and to discover joy.

Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we've seen how easy it is to get lost in what the world says we should want and do to make us happy. It often takes a sucker punch or train wreck that, while initially devastating, can be the push we need to make decisions that are right for us, not the rest of the world. It takes courage, intention and a willingness to be vulnerable, but as Sarah confirms, it's oh so worth it.

For updates on The Order of Things, check out Sarah on Instagram at @scgormley. Order your copy of The Order of Things here, and tune into the podcast for these additional bits of Brilliance from Sarah:

• If I go do the "things," I'll catch up. I'll start to feel better because I'm doing the "things."

Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together!

XO,

Mary Fran

Mike Cerino: Executive Director, Warminster Food Bank

When was the last time you ate? When was the last time you stopped at a Walgreens or CVS to pick up a necessary prescription, or drove to Costco to fill your car up with gas?

Now, when was the last time you had to choose between those things because you couldn't afford to take care of all three?

Mike Cerino is Executive Director of the Warminster Food Bank, located in Warminster, PA. Along with his assistant Melody Latare and other volunteers, Mike sees people forced to make such choices all too often. 

Food insecurity can affect anyone at any time, given a sudden illness, job loss, or other challenging circumstances. Yet in the suburbs of large cities, as Warminster is to Philadelphia, food insecurity is unexpected and therefore often hidden in plain sight. The problem is compounded by the shame and embarrassment frequently felt by those in need.

The Warminster Food Bank strives to not only meet their guests' physical needs, but to treat each person with dignity and respect, building community and shared humanity along the way. Mike and Melody note that volunteers often get just as much out of their service to others as those receiving assistance.

Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we recognize the power of service, both to those served as well as those offering their service. We also know the importance of refusing to judge others' circumstances and instead bringing our transferable skills to help in any way possible.

With a budget that's risen by $4000/month since Covid, and at this time of year, the Warminster Food Bank is in greater need of food to serve those in need. Please visit www.warminsterfoodbank.org for a list of current foods needed, and to learn more. Tune in for these additional bits of Brilliance from Mike and Melody:

• I'm tired of people saying others show up in expensive cars to get a basket of food. When the Escalade you're driving becomes your house, it's not that an impressive a car any more.

Be of service and share your Brilliance. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together.

XO,

Mary Fran