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Broken Blue: An Ex-Cop’s Struggle with PTSD and Depression
In this premiere episode of Order and Chaos with Shane Norwood, I introduce myself to the audience, and give a brutally raw and honest account of my 20 year law enforcement career, and the struggles I faced for a great many of those 20 years with what would later be diagnosed as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Major Depressive Disorder.
I take you through the night terrors, the inexplicable feelings of hopelessness and despair, the desperation to feel "normal" and to hide any clues of my condition from my peers. I detail my self-medication efforts by way of excessive alcohol use which ultimately led to my personal rock bottom, legal consequences, and the untimely end of my career.
While I do not use this as a platform to tell "war stories" I do share some experiences in order to help other law enforcement officers and first responders, who are exposed to very similar circumstances and traumatic events on a regular basis, to identify the warning signs of a possible mental health concern. Armed with this knowledge, a person can reach out for help knowing they are not alone. Most importantly, it is my desire that my testimony of healing and help that is available, if you have the courage and open-mindedness to reach out for it, can pull you from the darkest times and save your career, your family and your relationships.
Also, it is important to note - I do not use my mental health diagnoses as a crutch, or an excuse. The only person responsible for your mental, physical and spiritual well-being is you. I chose not to get help, and I chose to try to help myself through very unhealthy methods. I made poor decisions. I used bad judgment. My consequences were fair and just.
However, if I can help just one person not go down the same road as me - this entire effort will be well worth it.
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This episode is sponsored by
· Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
---
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/orderandchaos/message
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/orderandchaos/support
View all episodes
By Shane Norwood
4.7
3333 ratings
In this premiere episode of Order and Chaos with Shane Norwood, I introduce myself to the audience, and give a brutally raw and honest account of my 20 year law enforcement career, and the struggles I faced for a great many of those 20 years with what would later be diagnosed as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Major Depressive Disorder.
I take you through the night terrors, the inexplicable feelings of hopelessness and despair, the desperation to feel "normal" and to hide any clues of my condition from my peers. I detail my self-medication efforts by way of excessive alcohol use which ultimately led to my personal rock bottom, legal consequences, and the untimely end of my career.
While I do not use this as a platform to tell "war stories" I do share some experiences in order to help other law enforcement officers and first responders, who are exposed to very similar circumstances and traumatic events on a regular basis, to identify the warning signs of a possible mental health concern. Armed with this knowledge, a person can reach out for help knowing they are not alone. Most importantly, it is my desire that my testimony of healing and help that is available, if you have the courage and open-mindedness to reach out for it, can pull you from the darkest times and save your career, your family and your relationships.
Also, it is important to note - I do not use my mental health diagnoses as a crutch, or an excuse. The only person responsible for your mental, physical and spiritual well-being is you. I chose not to get help, and I chose to try to help myself through very unhealthy methods. I made poor decisions. I used bad judgment. My consequences were fair and just.
However, if I can help just one person not go down the same road as me - this entire effort will be well worth it.
---
This episode is sponsored by
· Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
---
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/orderandchaos/message
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/orderandchaos/support