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Episode 30

Guest - Darren Caulfield & Lilly McEldowney

On today’s episode for the first time ever on BFP, I am joined with 54-year-old Father of three Darren and by his side is his 21 year old daughter Lilly. 

In 2016, Darren Caulfield, a single father of three beautiful children wanted to create a private, safe, and neutral environment for parents and families who are going through difficult times to spend time with their children.

Darren, together with his mother, Pamela Caulfield, an experienced Social Worker who has over 30 years of experience working in the Indigenous, migrant, and community services sector, established Lilly Pilly to meet this need.

Darren is a Nationally Accredited AMDRAS Mediator, Accredited with the Australian Mediation Association and a Parenting Coordinator with Parenting Coordination Australia.

The inspiration of Lilly Pilly is Lilly McEldowney (nee. Caulfield). Lilly’s mum and dad (yes, Darren) separated when she was very young. Lilly was the original child representative on the Lilly Pilly Board.

Lilly comes from a Child Care background and is currently completing her Graduate Diploma of Family Dispute Resolution to become a Registered FDRP with the Attorney-General’s Department.

Lilly most recently spoke at the “ Queensland Families and Children Commission 2026 Youth Summitt”. Both Darren and Lilly are Qualified Justices of the Peace, JP (Qual). Lilly Pilly is very proud to have a ‘child representative’ in their constitution who sits on the board that represents the children of separated families. 

Darren, a Brisbane native who moved to Townsville at 15. After working in the mines in New Guinea, Darren returned to Townsville to attend James Cook University, where he met his Lilly's mother at age 30.

Three years into that relationship, their daughter, Lily, was born. Darren recounts the day he returned home to find a note stating that his partner and Lily had left, leading him to reflect on whether his work schedule contributed to the separation.

Over the next two years, Darren fought to stay in Lily’s life, making 112 round-trip flights to Townsville in the first year and 144 in the second year. By age three, Lilly was a Qantas Gold member; the airline staff knew them so well they even gifted Lilly a Dora the Explorer doll for Christmas. We also discuss these events in the context of the Howard Government's family law reforms regarding shared parental responsibility.

Five years later, Darren met a teacher at Lily’s school, with whom he had two sons. Unfortunately, that relationship also ended, and in 2014, Darren began a two-year legal battle to secure a judgment regarding his boys.

Darren, who opened his own supervision contact centre in 2016 after navigating the challenges of the family court system. In this episode, we delve into the operations of supervision centres, covering essential topics such as: 

- Intake processes and initial risk assessments.

- Determining required supervision levels.

- Handling corrections and child safety matters (low-risk vs. high-risk).

- Protocol for Amber Alerts and non-returns.

- The differences between privately owned and government-funded centres.

- Managing reports, notes, and subpoenas.

- General policies and procedures. 

Darren emphasizes that their role is not to dictate parenting styles, but to provide a safe environment, supported by 26 cameras across the property. We also answer specific questions submitted by my followers.

Additionally, I speak with Lilly about her journey from law student to childcare professional. She shares her story of finding her calling in education and her personal life since high school.

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Episode 29

Guest - Rodney Joyce

On this episode, I am joined by Rodney Joyce, a 57-year-old father of three from Ballina. Rodney shares the deeply personal story of fighting for his children and the struggles with mediation.

After separating from his first partner when his daughter was 4 years old, Rodney found co-parenting manageable until his daughter turned eight and contact was abruptly cut off. He describes his experience with mediation and explains why he found the process ineffective for his situation.

He recalls the heartbreaking experience of waiting for his daughter on Christmas Day, only to be told she would not be coming.

After meeting his second partner, they welcomed a son a year later. However, challenges soon emerged within the relationship. Rodney discusses these difficulties, including a traumatic assault that resulted in a police-issued protection order for his safety. He also details the subsequent legal battle in the NSW Children’s Court involving fabricated allegations.

 Rodney opens up about a difficult event where he received a letter claiming he had abducted his son. This situation unfortunately resulted in Rodney’s family having to drive his son to the airport to hand him over to his ex-partner. On a lighter note, Rodney also shares his experiences with his lawyer, jokingly referencing the character "Dennis Denuto" from the 1997 Australian film, The Castle.

Furthermore, Rodney touches on his 24-year journey of paying child support, the sacrifices he made to provide for his daughter, and his subsequent fight to recover funds owed to him.

 Today, Rodney has been happily married for 17 years. He is grateful to have all three of his children in his life and credits his beloved staffy, who was by his side for 17 years, for helping him through his darkest times.

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Episode 26

Guest - Alex Johnson

In this week’s episode, I am joined by Alex Johnson, a long-term employee at Child Support. Please note that to protect my guest's identity, I have changed their name and altered their voice.

When I announced this interview and asked for your input, I received over 500 questions across all platforms. I am pleased to share that we managed to cover nearly 80% of the topics you requested.

 During our conversation, my guest agrees that the Child Support formula needs to be updated. They explain that the agency can typically only backdate three months of arrears, extending to nine months only under special circumstances.

We also discuss a wide range of topics, including:

- ART & TRIP (Tax Return Intercept Process)

Centrelink payments and domestic violence exemptions

- Maximum income thresholds ($232,843.00)

- The six formulas used in an assessment

- Section 106A

- Staff burnout and the training provided when mistakes occur

- The backlog of objections and Change of Assessments (COA)

- 28-day time frame for objections

- Why court orders can be "rinse and repeat" & how to avoid wasting time

- The impact of withholding children without justification

- Business rules and regular care

- Understaffing and resource shortages within the CSA

- The Telecommunications Act regarding recording calls

- Debt offsets and late penalty fees (and where those fees go)

- Why the CSA will not pause payments

- How payments adjust when a child turns 18

- The challenges of working within the agency

- MTAWE (Male Total Average Weekly Earnings) in child support assessments

- Garnishing / freezing accounts

- Different departments in child support

- Paying parent vs Receiving Parent

- Private arrangements

- Family court issues vs Child Support Issues

- Overdue child support / Departure Prohibition Orders (DPO)

- Reporting income (Incrementally)

- CSA staff receive intense 12 weeks initial training package

If you are struggling to navigate the child support system, this is an episode you don't want to miss. We cover a wide range of topics, and it is likely that any questions or queries you have will be answered in this discussion.

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Episode 28

Guest - Thomas Haxby

On this episode, we are joined by Thomas Haxby, father of one.

Originally from Nottingham in the UK, Thomas moved to Australia with his parents and two sisters at the age of four. Only a year later, he was diagnosed with the rare condition Perthes disease, and was told he would need to rely on his mind—not his body—throughout life.

Through discipline, resilience, and an unbreakable mindset, Thomas proved every prediction wrong. He went on to build a career as a trainer, mentor, and role model for youth and men today.

Thomas spent roughly twelve years with his former partner—his best friend, his companion, and the mother of his child. Life changed quickly. One moment they were together on the Gold Coast, planning their next family holiday; shortly after returning home, the relationship ended.

What followed was a 14‑month legal battle involving property settlement and custody of his daughter. Thomas speaks openly about the reality many men face in family law. His message is clear:  

If you conduct yourself with integrity, stay disciplined, treat every interaction as if it will be reviewed in court, and think three steps ahead, men can achieve fair outcomes. Thomas secured 50/50 custody and retained his property—through patience, preparation, and allowing the other side to make their own mistakes.

Throughout the process, meditation and a strong partnership with his lawyer became essential. Thomas entered mediation with complete confidence, backed by documentation, evidence, and emotional control. Within ten minutes, 50/50 care was granted—a result he had fought for relentlessly.

His advice to men is simple and powerful:  

- Document everything.  

- Stay cool, calm, collected, and calculated.  

- Work with a lawyer you genuinely connect with—don’t just hire the first name you find.  

- Do your research, build your case, and protect your character at all costs.

Thomas shares this story not for sympathy, but for awareness. Throughout the process, attempts were made to break him, provoke him, and drag him out of character. But he refused to slip. He was fighting for his daughter, his business, and his livelihood—and he was never going to be defeated.

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Episode 27

Guest - Robbie & Olivia Hay

In this episode we meet Robbie and Olivia Hay. Robbie was brought up by his single dad with holiday visits to his mum. After leaving school for work at aged 16, he shortly after met his now ex-partner (the mother of his children). Cracks were there from the beginning but being so young and already surrounded by other fractured relationships Robbie thought this to be normal.

Robbie tells us about his experience as a victim of domestic violence, love bombing, bread crumbing and going through withholding abuse.

After the birth of his 2 children, in 2014 and 2021, he officially split from the mother of his children and shortly after met Olivia, now his wife. Since their meeting his ex-partner did everything in her power to cause turmoil in their relationship and also withheld the children. 

Despite engaging with the Family Court system in hopes of establishing a healthy co-parenting arrangement, Robbie describes a highly complex and frustrating legal process. Following a four-day trial—during which he was permitted to respond to claims but unable to present his own evidence—a No Contact order was issued. Consequently, Robbie is restricted from contacting his children until they reach the age of 18.

This heartbreaking story is one of many with a similar formula: another father who trusted a system that, instead of protecting families, has left children fatherless.

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Episode 25

Guest - Brentin Mumford

On this week’s episode, I am joined by Brentin Mumford, a 38-year-old father of three. Originally from Lismore, New South Wales, but now resides on the Gold Coast.
 
He is a retired mixed martial artist who currently focuses his time and energy on coaching and building Fighting Fathers out of CMBT Fight gym in Burleigh. After attempting mediation in 2023, the challenges he faced throughout that process inspired him to establish the organization fighting fathers. His goal is to provide essential support to other men as they navigate the complexities of the system.
 
Brentin being the Eldest of 5, grew up in a small country town known as Lismore. He got into ice hockey at a young age. In 2003 when he turned 16 he left go to to Edmonton, Alberta Canada for hockey. He returned to Australia 2 years later and rekindled with his ex from high school and fell pregnant and before he knew it, he was a kid raising a kid. They lived at Brentin’s in-laws until they got stable which saw Brentin have his daughter at the age of 27.
 
In 2008, Brentin was involved in a fatal car accident involving an elderly man. This event profoundly impacted his mental health, leading him to seek professional help. However, he found the experience unproductive, describing the attempt to heal as trying to fix a broken mirror that will always remain cracked.
 
Brentin’s personal life has also seen significant upheaval. Eight years after the birth of his son, he and his partner had a daughter. Despite hopes that a second child might reignite the relationship, they separated when she was six months old but maintained a healthy co-parenting relationship to which they still have today, 11yrs later.
 
He later entered a new relationship and had another child. When this relationship ended, his ex-partner began creating obstacles for him to see his son, making it difficult for them to bond. This situation left him with no choice but to initiate mediation. While early private discussions seemed promising, the dynamic shifted significantly during the joint Zoom mediation session, where the mediator’s demeanor was entirely different from their previous one on one interactions.

During mediation, Brentin's PTSD and his use of medical marijuana to manage sleep-related night terrors following his car accident was brought up and used against him. The mediation agreement established six-week visitation blocks, with hours increasing in each subsequent block. There had been a request for Brentin to undergo a hair follicle test regularly. He knew that this test will return a positive result, as he continues to use prescribed medical cannabis to assist with his sleep.

In 2022, Brentin was living on the Gold Coast when a major flood destroyed his parents' home in Lismore. Unknown to him, a Domestic Violence Order (DVO) had been served to that flooded address. Because the police did not attempt to contact him via phone or social media, Brentin was unaware of the order until friends began sending him news links regarding a warrant for his arrest.
 
Confused and shocked, Brentin handed himself in. He was subsequently charged with intimidation. This experience highlighted the significant struggles and legal communication breakdowns within the system; Brentin recounts one specific day in court where everything that could go wrong did.

 
Brentin’s eldest son resided with him full time and he was advised to plead guilty and focus his energy on the two children currently in his care due to the unpredictability of the court system. Given Brentin's background as a professional MMA fighter, the barrister noted that the judge may view the circumstances more critica

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Episode 25

Guest - Joshua and Emily Thompson

On this episode I am joined with a married couple. Josh, a 35 y/o from Sydney who is a director of a small construction company and his wife Emily who is 29 and works in child protection as a case worker and is also studying to be a lawyer. They share 1 beautiful child and 2 stepchildren together while Josh has 1 child to his x wife. Josh and Emily started their family court journey in 2020 and just finished in the start of 2025.
 
Emily, one of 13 siblings born and raised in Wollongong experienced a traumatic childhood; her parents separated when she was two, and her father struggled with heavy alcohol and drug use. Her lived experience with siblings who faced meth addiction from a young age is what ultimately led her to work in the child protection space. 

Josh met his ex at the age of 22 who was a on and off hairdresser, they were friends to start with dating then become official. Seven years later they got married, only to split one year later. Josh, reflecting now, sees the biggest red flag was when she moved in only months after they met., As soon as they ended the relationship, the first thing his ex-asked was how much money was she going to get. Josh went to work one day, came home and the whole house had been cleaned out empty.
 
Josh worked not far from his in-law’s place and was getting access to his son. The split was quite amicable to begin with, until he noticed he stopped getting in voted at the in-law BBQ every Sunday. This was when he found out she had a new boyfriend.

Josh then met his current wife in December 2020, when Joshua’s ex found out all hell broke out. Josh's neighbour would film him and take pictures when Emily was there then report it straight back to his ex.
 
An interesting point to note is that a former acquaintance of Josh’s ex used to monitor Josh’s social media via a fake account to report back to her. This individual is no longer in contact with the ex-partner and has since become close friends with Josh and Emily. Additionally, while the initial mediation went good, Josh’s ex reportedly misrepresented the outcome to others, claiming it went poorly, consent orders were made with which we ultimately withdrawn, just before the court sealed them. 
 
On December 3rd, the situation escalated when Josh was raided and accused of armed robbery. He was subsequently refused bail. This decision was unexpected, particularly as Josh requires chemotherapy every six months. Even corrective services submitted documentation stating they could not meet his medical requirements and supported his release from custody.

While incarcerated, Josh’s health deteriorated significantly, requiring specialized treatment every four weeks. Following his release on December 16, 2021, his immediate priority was contacting his son. Although Josh had been writing letters to him while inside, his ex-partner attempted to characterize this correspondence as domestic violence.

All charges against Josh were dropped, no record was made, and the police identified the actual offender. Following this, the judge’s verdict was read by Emily.
 
Despite spending nearly $500,000, the case then moved to family court. At this stage, his ex-partner employed various tactics, including forcing Josh to undergo hair follicle tests and subpoenaing numerous organizations. She also attempted to use his medical conditions against him and submitted affidavits that contained clear falsehoods, particularly regarding her financial documents. To this day, Josh has not seen his son since December 16, 2021 which was via FaceTime, and hasn’t physically seen him since November 28, 2020.
 
In closing,

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Episode 25

Guest - Tony Nikolic

In the next episode, I sit down with Tony Nikolic — Australian solicitor, principal of AFL Solicitors, and one of the country’s most unapologetic advocates for human and civil rights. His work is defined by a singular professional duty: to protect without fear or favour, regardless of pressure, politics, or personal cost.

Practising nationally across commercial litigation, complex family law, estates, and criminal law, Tony operates at the sharp edge of Australia’s legal system, where individual rights collide with institutional power. Tony holds two Master of Laws degrees — one in Family Dispute Resolution (with accreditation in mediation) and another in Commercial Litigation — alongside an Honours degree in Criminology, qualifications as a Notary, and a Diploma in Business Management. He is also a published author, contributing to the International Handbook of Whistleblower Research (2014), where he examined the protection of whistleblowers and taxpayers — reinforcing his lifelong commitment to accountability and justice.

Widely respected for his work in high-conflict family law, Tony represents clients in matters where parenting disputes and property proceedings intersect with criminal allegations and systemic failure. His advocacy extends beyond individual cases into the reform space, where he champions evidence-based legal change, including his proposed Family Law “Three Strikes” model, designed to address repeated breaches of parenting orders and restore accountability to the system.

We examine the gatekeeping of children, the reality that as little as 30 days of separation can sever a child’s emotional bond with a parent, and the enduring lack of meaningful support for fathers in Australia.

Restoring Accountability: The Three Strikes Reform

Tony outlines his proposed Three Strikes Enforcement Structure, a reform to the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth) designed to introduce clarity, consistency, and meaningful consequences for repeated breaches of parenting orders — interim or final — while always maintaining the best interests of the child.

Key proposed reforms include:

 Strike 1 – Civil Penalty

• $500 civil fine

• Mandatory make-up time for denied contact

• Formal entry in a Parenting Order Enforcement Register

 Strike 2 – Escalation and Warning

• Further $500 fine

• Formal judicial warning

• Power to vary parenting orders to restore compliance

 Strike 3 – Criminal Referral

• Referral for criminal prosecution for serious interference

• Power to reverse custody

• Minimum six months supervised contact for the non-compliant parent (at their expense), or

• Appointment of a parenting coordinator funded by the non-compliant party

Tony also discusses his recent meetings in the United States with Robert Garza, a Texas-based father and advocate whose lived experience with parental alienation helped drive reforms restoring parenting time. Since returning, Tony has refined the model for Australia and submitted the draft Bill to Senator Malcolm Roberts.

Time Taken Must Be Time Returned

The proposed Bill further amends the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth) to ensure parenting time is restored where a parent has been denied access due to:

• Child protection investigations, or

• Family violence, intervention, or restraining orders

- where no finding of abuse, neglect, or risk of harm is ultimately made.

These reforms prevent parents from being permanently deprived of court-ordered time based on unsubstantiated allegations, while preserving judicial discretion and the paramount consideration of the child’s welf

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Episode 23

Guest - Digby Ioane

On my next episode I sit down with Digby Ioane, a Brisbane-based father of two who spent four years navigating the family court system. Born in New Zealand and of Samoan heritage, Digby moved to Melbourne at age one. He grew up as the youngest of nine, five boys and four girls, in a family-oriented home. His parents later adopted six more children from Samoa, and their house was always full. If one of his older brothers met someone who was homeless or struggling, they would bring them home too. Later, while playing overseas, Digby moved to France to join Stade Français, where he met the mother of his first child. Their relationship began to break down shortly after his son’s birth. Digby had flown his baby mother and son to Melbourne so his son could spend time with his father, who was gravely ill. She left to France early for a job interview, and two days after she left with his son, his father passed away. Digby shared in the podcast that when he tried to express how much he was hurting, she told him to “Just get over it.” That moment, on top of losing the man he described as the family’s protector whose love was “on another level,” became a breaking point.

Shortly after his first relationship ended, Digby met his second partner, the mother of his second child. Throughout their relationship, she questioned how Digby managed to afford his properties and expenses. His sister, who handled his finances, had been diagnosed with cancer. His partner used this to convince him to let her “help” and eventually “take over” managing his finances. She pushed him to set up internet banking, something he had never used before, so she could pay bills and renovation invoices while he travelled for rugby and flew frequently to Melbourne to care for his dying sister. This is how she was able to access his accounts. When his sister passed away, Digby asked her to fly down for the funeral. She agreed but asked him to pay for her best friend’s flight as well. She came down but left before the burial, flying back to Brisbane with their son because he was “sick,” leaving Digby to mourn alone. Digby remained in Melbourne for two weeks to support his family. His 12-year-old nephew, also named Digby, asked if he could move to Brisbane to live with him, just as Digby had previously done for his nephew Monty Ioane, who is now an international rugby player for Italy. 

When he told his partner the plan, she “lost it” and gave him the ultimatum: “IT’S EITHER ME OR YOUR NEPHEW.” Digby refused to abandon his nephew and stood his ground. Consequently, she left, telling Digby that her father was sick and that she was going to Canberra to stay & look after him. All of a sudden, Police are calling Digby wanting to question him about a whole list of fabricated allegations his ex has made.During the proceedings, Digby discovered that his ex had been transferring $5,000 daily from his account into her own. When the transactions were traced, they showed she had used the money to pay off her personal credit card debt and had moved funds into multiple bank accounts she controlled. On the surface, it appeared she was “paying all the bills,” but the deposits funding those bills were coming directly from Digby’s income, rental properties, and the rugby clinics. Their relationship lasted only 20 months. She had moved into a fully paid-off house, contributed nothing to the mortgage, and the household was funded by his passive income and rugby work, yet she initially sought a “70/30 split.” Following years of emotional, financial and legal pressure, Digby’s friend advised him to make a final offer of $100,000 “so she’ll accept it and disappear.” Within five minutes of receiving the email, she accepted, sig

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Episode 22 

Guest – Pauline Hanson

On our next episode of the broken fathers podcast I sit speak with someone who’s not only seen the pain, but spoken out about it—in Parliament, on national television, and in the face of fierce opposition. She’s a a federal senator, the founder of One Nation, and one of the few politicians who’s dared to publicly call the family court system for what many of us know it to be “BROKEN”. A strong independent woman, Senator Pauline Hanson.

Senator Hanson’s first marriage was in the 1970s and after it ended, she found herself a single mother at the age of 33. She didn’t claim child support or other assets. She worked diligently to support herself and her child. She later married a second time and had two more children. This marriage also ended, there no property settlement as Pauline walked out and left the house and plumbing business to her ex. but Pauline’s hardest battle was trying to get the children's father to be involved in their kid’s lives because she knows how important it is for the children to have a father in their lives. Pauline was flat out trying to get $20 a week. When Senator Hanson joined parliament in 1996, the biggest issue that came across Senator’s desk was issues about family law system. She has personal experience with the family court system, as two of her sons have gone through it. She has witnessed firsthand the pain it caused them and felt that pain herself, how unfair and broken the system is especially knowing how much her sons love their children.

Senator Hanson argues that the courts and both parents should prioritize what is best for the children, rather than engaging in abusive, hurtful actions or using children as pawns. Pauline believes children have a right to be with their parents. Pauline grew up with amazing male role models like her amazing father and loving brothers. She’s not anti-male but she’s not joining some me2 movement and she makes a reminder to all those mothers out there you reap what you sow, that may be being spiteful and using the kids as pawns that It might be your sons being denied their children form a grandmother one day later in life. We delved into comments made by former Parramatta family court judge David Collier, who, after 14 years on the bench, observed a significant amount of false evidence presented in domestic violence and sexual abuse cases, noting that perjury always went unaddressed. We question why charges were not laid in such instances. Our conversation also touched on the perceived influence of "woke" ideologies in parliament, particularly regarding women's rights, and how the current Child Support system can be viewed as a "cash cow." We both agree that child support payments should be managed through a receipted bank account to ensure funds are exclusively used for the child's benefit. We believe that reforming child support could lead to greater accountability. Pauline suggests that all domestic violence allegations should first be heard in a magistrate's court to determine their veracity before proceeding to family court. Furthermore, these allegations should not be admissible in family court unless proven factual. Pauline mentioned that domestic violence cases consume 75% of the Queensland Police Service's resources, leading to frustration among officers who feel the system needs to be re-evaluated. Additionally, we discussed a perceived lack of courage among many politicians, attributing it to the need to adhere to party lines. The misuse of the domestic violence system as a legal weapon, often facilitated by unaddressed perjury, was another point of concern. We reflected on the powerful display of 2,400 single boots on the lawns of Parliament, representing men and boys who have died

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