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Ep25 Broken Heart…not so much

Hello and Welcome to the Way of the Emotional Warrior Podcast. My name is Kai Ehnes and today we will be answering the question of Can your heart actually be broken?

Think of all the ways people experience a broken heart. Some causes of a broken heart can be:

A relationship breakup, people letting you down, people not stepping up for you, someone does not say Thank You when you do something for them, they don’t say I love you back, sadness, loss, rejection

It is a long list of possible culprits but in the end these shocks to the system cause a reaction in your system. Rightfully so. You feel it in your gut, maybe you can’t breathe, your throat tightens up, you want to scream but you can’t, you shake, feel nauseous, get depressed…on and on

This is actually all emotional pain but it certainly feels physical. According to Guy Winch PhD, fMRI studies have found that heartbreak activates the same mechanisms in the brain that get activated when addicts are withdrawing from substances like cocaine and opioids. These powerful withdrawal symptoms from the loss of love impact our ability to think, focus, and function in the broadest terms.

Neuroscience is showing the intensity of the emotional stress a broken heart can have on our system. Emotional pain sits deep in ourselves, hurts and tends to stay around for quite a while.

Our survival brain is wired to protect us so quite often emotional pain generates rumination. Thinking negative thoughts over and over. They keep us awake and offer no solution.

By no means do I want to make light of this issue. It is obviously a widespread experience amongst human beings.

However, lets look at this from the perspective of an emotional warrior. Is there opportunity within a broken heart? Can we do something about it that is healthy and productive for us?

What if a heart can’t really be broken? What I mean is this. Instead of the heart being broken, I mean consider the language, is it really broken? If so, why do we even bother trying to mend it? Broken is broken. Super glue or duct tape can’t fix what’s really broken.

What if its actually more along the lines of expansion. These are very sophisticated matters of the heart. Experiences we think break us are actually what move us out of the old into the new.

Let’s look at an example. You are in a relationship. You think everything is moving along nicely. One day I becomes clear one of you is no longer getting their needs met, specifically your emotional needs. So you or the other person look for ways to pacify those needs. Maybe you find it super easy to talk to a coworker or you create online relationships etc…

The result is the same. One of you has outgrown the relationship. In emotional language, your vibrational levels are no longer in harmony.

Then cones the drawn out attempts at reconciliation or simply hanging in there hoping it will get better. But it doesn’t.

What is happening? Your heart is trying to expand. You came here, or found yourself here…either way, it is pretty clear that we live best with a purpose. Purpose driven life baby!!! Having said that, relationships where both people work with each other, challenge each other, support each other, grow with each other…those are the ones that last.

Think of empowerment. An empowered heart cannot be a broken heart. Your heart is the seat of your life force. Why else do we say the things we say about the heart. Like: “Trust me, I love you from the bottom of my heart.” Or “I love you with all of my heart!”

This doesn’t sound like a fragile place in my world. The heart is your strongest place of truth and determination. When it expands, so does your consciousness. In the quantum world, your heart becomes your energy generator. Raising your own vibration impacts and lifts the vibration of others.

We learned somewhere along the way that someone leaving us breaks hearts. Of course its hurts. Own it. However, knowing...