Both Sania and I struggle to understand the obsession with marriage in South Asian culture. In this episode, we discuss the pressures of marriage, what it means for a suitor to be from a “good family,” and the importance of financial independence before entering a marriage. What’s the rush when we have our whole lives ahead of us? Join us as we share our perspectives and our personal stories relating to marriage.

Note: We recorded this episode over a year ago and sort of forgot about it. Some updates since the time of recording is that we’re now both 25, Kainath graduated from grad school and started her career, Sania is still in law school, and both of us are still dealing with the pressure to get married from our parents (but not to the same extent). Kainath's parents are more welcoming and open to the idea of waiting for an engagement, while Sania is still just as headstrong as ever and has full intentions of traveling around the world for the next few years before settling down. 

It’s no secret that South Asian males are usually awarded more privileges than females; in today’s episode, we will address why this may be. First, we discuss examples of these imbalances, next, we address how our moms and other female figures perpetuate these privileges, and finally, how we can begin to overcome these inequities.

Parentification is when children are forced to take on parental roles. Many of us experienced this role reversal, but may not be aware of how this manifests in our behaviors and tendencies into adulthood. In this episode, we discuss reasons why children are forced into parental roles, the effects it had on us, and specific behavioral examples exhibited by adults who experienced childhood trauma.

This week, Kainath does a solo episode and addresses different types of abuse, how these impact our relationships with our moms, and reads a writing piece she wrote years ago during a time of pain. These words are things she wished she could have said to her mom. Fortunately, she has been able to say all of these things, but wants to read them aloud for those who are still processing their emotions and relationships with their own moms. Warning: you may need a tissue or two.

Happy Thanksgiving! Today we want to take a moment to thank each and every one of you for being incredibly supportive and for taking time out of your lives to be a part of our community. Our experiences have led us to who we are today, and on today’s episode, we discuss cultural aspects that we’re grateful for. We also read some of our favorite messages from you all to showcase how fortunate we are to have an incredible support system. Thank you for being here, and thank you for just being you!

This episode was inspired by a recent incident in which someone Sania didn’t really know shared that Sania “had a reputation.” This phrase evoked a lot of reflection on why gossip is so prevalent in Desi society and how it impacts our self-esteem and “reputation” within the community. In this episode, we discuss where the importance of gossip stems from, why we think it occurs, some of the “hot topics” Desi people gossip about, and and how honestly, our generation isn’t much better than the aunties we complain about.

Whether it’s through setting boundaries and being labeled as selfish, or moving out and feeling guilty for leaving family behind, a lot of us find ourselves in a constant battle between choosing our mental peace and catering towards everyone else’s needs before out own. What happens when you put yourself first? You’re either made to feel ashamed, or internally feel guilty. Let’s talk about that.

The word “feminism” has a stigma around it in most cultures, and especially South Asian cultures because of the patriarchal traditions that are still practiced today. Feminism quite literally means wanting equality for women, and for some reason this doesn’t sit well with a large percentage of society. In today’s episode, we discuss manifestations of gender inequality in our culture, our own experiences, and ways in which we can contribute to developing a more equitable culture for all genders.

The Desi community does not hold back when it comes to commenting on others’ appearances. Whether it’s our body weight, skin, hair, height, clothes, or something else, there’s an opinion about everything. In this episode we discuss examples of body shaming, our own experiences with this, the differences between body positivity vs. body neutrality, and how to combat negative feelings we may have towards our bodies.

With a multitude of factors to consider when selecting a career path, South Asians don’t always have the liberty to choose their own due to parental and societal pressure. In this episode, we discuss our perspective on why these pressures might exist and how they affect us, the changes in our own career trajectories, and our advice as you contemplate your career choices.