Love or hate that it exists, it exists.  We, your metal pundits, due to corporate pressure to review this talkie, have capitulated and submit to you our discussion on the Jonus Åkerlund picture THEE LORDS OV KAOS.  Or whatever. 

Spoiler: Euronymous dies.

This week we deep-dive into the sweltering, gator-infested Florida slop to explore the scum-soaked discography of Tampa swamp things OBITUARY. All caps necessary, because right now you’re all imagining the word OBITUARY being roared by vocalist John Tardy, who sounds like a shambling monster that ate too many whole raw skinks with flamin’ tabasco and washed ’em down with 19 Budweisers, and now is puking up the first nine yards of its GI tract. Yeah -- John Tardy is the greatest, isn’t he? Anyway, tune in to hear VERY RARE positive commentary from Damian, who usually hates death metal, but loves Obituary, because every time he drops the needle on “Frozen in Time,” he hears hardcore. Meanwhile, Serba rolls his eyes (I mean, Damian could hear HAHDCOAH in an Angelo Badalamenti soundtrack), and relishes the opportunity to pontificate on the greatest guitar solo ever heard by his old-guy ears, prompting some wholly appropriate Allen West worship. And then some Donald Tardy worship, and some Trevor Peres worship. These guys kick some serious ass, don’t they? Obituary, welcome to the BSOGM Hell of Flame!

We’re going to try a new thing were we spend the second episode of every month talking about a group of bands from a certain country.  The BSOGM globetrotting miniseries 2019 begins with a voyage across the Atlantic to an island nation of rainy skies, midday tea parties, footballers, wankers, tossers, sods, tarts and Hugh Grant.  I think also the Beatles were from there.  England, bitch.  Tiny footprint, casts a big shadow in the musical world.  From the aforementioned to Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, Iron Maiden, Great British Baking Show, Judas Priest, Sex Pistols, The Smiths, The Strokes (I think?), a shocking amount of genre defining music has come from the Queen’s subjects.  We subject you now to our take on NWOBHM, the New Wave of British Heavy Metal, which we will explain if you just give us a chance. 

 

featured songs : Tygers of Pan Tang - GanglandCloven Hoof - Cloven HoofJaguar - PrisonerAngel Witch - White WitchAngel Witch - Angel of DeathTraitor’s Gate - Devil Takes The High RoadDiamond Head - The PrinceWitchfinder General - Witchfinder GeneralSatan - Cruel Magic

This week, Chaly whips up gales of powdery snow with his leathery wings and flaps over the gates of Blashrh- Blashkrhy- Blashyyykh- ah, screw it. You know that place. The goofy “demon-and-battle-filled” fantasy realm that Demonaz and Abbath concocted so their band, Immortal, wasn’t just another bunch of Satan-worshipping goofs in frostdemonpandastormpaint. No, Immortal is a bunch of entirely different goofs. And that’s why they deserve the scorching-hot BSOGM brand on their pale, white (and occasionally shimmying) derrieres more than any other second-wave black metal band. Of course, in the wake of a tragedy that blew at some horizons and resulted in an acrimonious split, you’re likely taking sides nowadays, supporting either Abbath’s winterhorde or Demonaz’s blizzardbastion. Who’s the grimmest? Serba ends up mostly stumping for the former, and Damian mostly for the latter, because if a BSOGM episode didn’t devolve into petty verbal scraps, it would be one percent intro, one percent plugging the Patreon, and 98 percent chomping on snacks. So anyway, Immortal rocks, and so does that I record, and that Demonaz solo record, and that Abbath solo record, and the new Abbathless Immortal record. Everybody wins, sort of. Anyone want a pretzel rod?

First and foremost, a very serious rest in power to a true heavy metal legend: Mark “ THE SHARK “ Shelton (1957-2018).  Manilla Road might just be the most true heavy metal band in history.  We do our damndest to tackle their massive discography and pay tribute to the greatest band to ever come from Kansas.  We’re looking at you, Kansas (the band).  We don’t fuck with that people of the south wind shit.

We’re lost in Necropolis, baby.  We have Dreams of Escheton.  We are living in the Courts of Chaos, just up way a bit on the Road of Kings.  And even though Kansas is landlocked as fuck, we’re down for multiple albums and songs about Atlantis.  Let’s go.  Up the hammers, down the nails, and may the lords of light be with you.

RIP 2 a real 1: Peter Steele. 

BSOGM is back baby, and we are going green.  It's the Peter Steele episode, and we dig in deep on his two essential bands, Carnivore and Type O Negative. 

There is so much to talk about in these two bands, from the metallic hardcore crossover thrashing of Carnivore, to the gothic doom and Beatles (?!?!?) inspired Type O Negative.  The common thread is not just Steele, his development and expression of who he was as an artist.  A true 1/1 guy.  He's serious about being mostly serious. Overall, there is just a wild sense of irreverence and self-deprecation that no other band can even come close to.  No one wrote songs like Steele, and no one ever will again.  He is truly missed.  Total weirdo. 

also, BSOGM is on facebook now so do whatever it is you do there.  Send us questions or pictures of your pontoon boat or whatever idk what happens on facebook.  facebook.com/BSOGMpodcast

Enter the gates of Valhalla my brothers.  Let us take up our broadswords on our longships and inexplicably wear fur on our shoulders but not on our chest, legs or ass.  Let us crush our enemies and drink mead from their skulls.  Let us listen to albums that have songs with intros of children playing in villages, horses doing that PPPFFFTTFFF sound, and the sound of someone pouring a glass of water. You know the first six Bathory albums, but poser check time: do you know Bathory 7-12?  You should, poser.  Some of Quorthon’s most interesting and ambitious work is past his dual trilogy stage.  @DAMIANMASTER lays it all on the line for Requiem.  @johnserba strangely goes to bat for Octagon.  Listen to the BSOGM warriors wax poetic about the greatest fallen hero in all of the underground.  RIP QUORTHON. RIP CHALY.  Enter the Nordlands…

Our first episode with a guest!!!!  On the third mic we have Johnny Hiwatt, a lifelong heavy-metalist and ex-punk / crossover legend of the area.  We eventually, like, a real long way into the episode get into some talk about DRI, COC, Suicidal Tendencies, Nuclear Assault, etc.  We do have some pretty sick stories from Hiwatt's old pal, a man you may have heard of- GG Allin.  So yeah, that's the vibe.  Punking Thrash / Thrashing Punk / BSOGM = puking trash.

Chances are, you like Pestilence.  Amongst those chances I'd wager a guess that you don't like every Pestilence record.  That's the jumping off point for this ep.  Is it fair to say you like a band if you really only like two of their records.  Let's face it, if you're going to bat for "Obsideo," you're prolly not listening to us.  The first two Pestilence records totally friggin rock.  Serba says the third one is good.  Damian would rather stick his hand in a pillowcase full of venomous cobras than listen to anything post-Consuming Impulse (CONSVMING IMPVLSE!!!!!!).  We also aren't afraid to talk about the dumbass things that mainman Patrick Mameli has said on the internet.  It gets a bit tense because we are talking about an uncomfortable subject, but we gotta go there.  We are the people's champion # 1 heavy metal podcast.  Martin van Drunen please come on the show.  Patrick Malmeri or whatever your name is, say something bad about me on facebook... i dare you.  lol

The leaves are turning pretty colors and the smell of fresh mulled cider is in the air.  For us here at the Witch’s Hole studios, October only means one neon green thing:  It’s OctoberKILL.  If you couldn’t tell by us talking constantly about Blitz, DD, and the Jersey boyz, and like, our show logo, Overkill is pretty much top of the mountain for us.  This turned into our longest episode and perhaps the first one wherein we didn’t have to stop recording to sort out an argument / fight off-air.  We pretty much love all things Overkill.  That’s the healing power of Blitz.  That’s the mystic strength of Carlo “DD” Verni.  They can bring together all factions and across all walks of life, we can duck together and cover our heads and Chaly flies around the room, Stuka-bomber style and rejoice in the unholy noise of Overkill.  Springsteen might be your boss, but he’s not mine.  There is only one man from Jersey I take orders from.  His name is Bobby and when he laughs, my world turns.  Since Overkill are blue collar (rotten?) to the core, and they actually work and put out albums, we tackle the first half of their discography here.  If you want to hear our take on ’84-2018, you gotta sign up on Patreon.  Cough up the cash, jabroni.  Uncle Blitz needs gas money.  thanx 4 nuthin ! ! !